You Made Me Into Who I Am
by Khockeygrl4
Summary: Divergent AU: Beatrice and Tobias were great friends when they were ten and twelve year's old, living in Abnegation. But they grew apart when Tobias became distant. Now, six years later, will they recognize each other in Dauntless? Some characters are OOC. Summary isn't that great, but the story is! I guarantee you'll love it, so please read! And please review! Now Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: I don't own anything. And the beginning of the story is kind of slow, so please bear with me. I promise it will get better!**

**Tris' POV (10 year's old)**

Where is he? He should be here by now. I look around the corner, hoping he would be there.

"Boo!" someone behind me whispers.

"Jeez Tobias, you almost scared me half to death!" I whisper, after seeing who it is. Tobias is one of my only friends here in Abnegation. He seemed different, like me, and so for a few months now, we've been sneaking out late at night, and meeting each other.

When we first met, and started to become good friends, he told me how he finds it hard sometimes to be completely selfless. He said he wants to help people, but he feels like he's losing himself here. I understood what he meant; I always feel out of place here. I love sneaking glances at myself in a window or a puddle. I guess I'm not cut out to be Abnegation.

It was his idea, to start sneaking out like this. He said it was going to be fun, but I was still scared of my parents finding out. He had this idea, where he wanted to teach himself things that we don't do in Abnegation. He wanted to be like those Dauntless kids we see at school sometimes. They always look scary to me, but he says they're not afraid of anything, and he wants to be like them. I wish I didn't have any fears. He said he could help me become fearless like them, so I tagged along that first night he snuck out.

He took me down the block, and to the edge of Abnegation, the farthest I've ever been in this direction. School's the other way, so I never had a reason to come over here. He said nobody ever comes over here.

That first night, when we got to our now secret meeting place, he took out a throwing knife from his pocket. I still have no idea where he got it, of course he won't tell me. He said he wanted to teach himself how to throw it, but the Abnegation in him said that was selfish, so he had the brilliant idea of being selfless by teaching me how to throw them, and I'll teach him how to throw them. Then we won't have to worry about being selfish. Seemed fine by me.

So for weeks we practice throwing the knife, and eventually we became pretty good, if you ask me. Then we went on to things like fighting, and even just cardio things. Some nights it was hard; sneaking out in the middle of the night, after our parents went to bed, then getting home late, and then getting up for school the next day. But I loved every second of it. It made me feel better about myself, and it made me feel like I could be more than just boring old Beatrice.

I know, it seems like a lot for a couple of Abnegation kids to be doing, but it was all Tobias's ideas; I just went along with him.

"Oh come on Bea, you knew I was going to come; I always do," he says, setting up a few targets for us to throw at. Tonight we're going to throw a few knives at cardboard targets; things that won't make too much noise when we hit them. We've been lucky and still haven't gotten caught. It's been a while since we've thrown knives, so I'm kind of excited.

"I know, but still," I say, grabbing one of the knives. I've become pretty good at throwing these, even though I'm just ten. Mom always said I was a quick learner.

"Ok, we can't be out too late, my dad has been acting strange; I hope he doesn't know what we've been doing," he says. He's mentioned his dad being weird lately a few times; I wonder what's going on.

I forget about everything as I get ready to throw the knife. As I hold the knife in my hand, I can't shake the feeling that it seems to belong there; I love the way it feels in my hand. It always makes me feel like I was born into the wrong faction.

I grip the knife, and then throw it at the target, hitting it close to the center. I still haven't hit the middle, but oh well.

"Nice one Bea, it won't be too long til you hit the middle," Tobias says, smiling.

"Oh yea, then I'll be as good as you." He never seems to miss the middle anymore.

There have been a couple close calls with us coming out here every night. One night, we were trying hand-to-hand combat, well it's mostly just in slow motion so we don't get bruises or anything, but I tripped over something and cut my hand when I caught myself. Normally it wouldn't be hard to hide anything, because of the clothes we wear in Abnegation, but on the hand it was hard to keep hidden. Luckily, it healed quickly and nobody saw it, and that means there were no questions asked about it.

After a while of throwing the knives; yes knives, as in plural, Tobias has gotten a few more since we started doing this, whatever this is, we decided to head back home for the night. I couldn't shake the feeling that something about this night was strange, that something was going to happen. Tobias was acting a little strange, but he's a boy, and they do that sometimes. We say goodbye as I head to my house.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

I wish I had known that he didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I still went to our spot every night, for a week; each night he never showed up. I tried to talk to him at school, but he had said to never mention our little get-togethers at school, or anywhere. He became distant, and started to not talk to me. I wonder what I did to make him hate me.

It's been years since I last talk to Tobias. After he became distant, we stopped hanging out, and stopped talking altogether. I never saw him at school, but that isn't surprising since we are two years apart. The last I heard of him was he transferred out of Abnegation, which isn't surprising either since he hated it here.

I became a different person after he changed. I went back to being the Abnegation girl everyone thought I should be. I acted the part, but on the inside I was dying to get out. I couldn't wait any longer for this day; the Choosing Ceremony. I can finally be the person I want to be; on the inside and out.

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**So what do you think? I know it's different, and this is just the back story to help get the background set up. But please review and let me know your thoughts as to where you think this is going to go! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Ok here is where we see some out-of-character moments. The story follows along the lines of Divergent, but there will be differences. Thanks for reading!**

**Tris' POV**

I did it. I chose Dauntless as my new home. I can't believe I no longer have to pretend anymore, pretend I am completely selfless. I like who I became, and I couldn't feel that way living in Abnegation; I always knew I belonged in Dauntless. I couldn't wait to get out.

After the ceremony, the Dauntless run the stairs, heading towards the train I always saw them get off. I've waited so long for this day, for the day when I can jump on and off the train like them. I keep up with the Dauntless borns, only because I've kept up my stamina over the years, secretly training at night. I wanted to be able to do the things they did, so I trained myself. And boy did it pay off.

I made it to the tracks, anxious to get on that train. I feel like I've waited my whole life for this moment. I run alongside the tracks, like the Dauntless kids do. I make it on, not as graceful as I wanted to, but it was still invigorating. I hear the others talking about me, about the stiff who's showed up all the other transfers so far. They haven't seen anything of me yet. I was used to being called weak; because of my size. Little did they know, under these baggy clothes, I'm a completely different person. I can't wait to show them what I'm made of.

I see the others getting ready to jump, onto a building. Simple enough. I follow suit; again, there can be some work on the landing.

We all gather around a guy who said his name was Max. He tells us we're to jump off the building, to get into compound. Everyone looks around as if he's crazy. This is going to be my moment. I see my opportunity, and take it. I walk up to the ledge, not knowing what lies below. I hear others murmur, but I ignore them, trying to remember how brave I am. I can do this; I have to do this. I glance behind me one last time, and then I jump.

I have never felt anything like this. Even the train was nothing compared to this. The feeling of falling, the feeling of my stomach being launched into my throat, doesn't only scare me, but excites me. I land on a net, completely exhilarated by the jump.

I roll off the net, and am met by a pair of dark blue eyes. Familiar eyes. I hear someone behind me say something about a stiff being the first to jump, but I am too distracted by the person in front of me to care. He looks so familiar, but I can't quite place it.

"What's your name?" he asks. I've been thinking of this moment; I'm in a new place, a new world, I can be a new person. I can be the person I've always wanted to be; the person I really am.

"Tris," I say, now taking in my surroundings. I see an open cavern, and people start to appear now that my eyes are adjusting.

"Tris," a girl next to me repeats. I think she was the one who called me the stiff before. "Make the announcement, Four."

Four, the familiar guy, looks over his shoulder and shouts, "First jumper-Tris!"

I am ecstatic. The crowd around me erupts in cheers. I feel like I'm on top of the world right now. I can't wait to begin anew here; as Tris, the person who I've been waiting to become.

Four turns to me and says, "Welcome to Dauntless."

*******PAGE BREAK*******

The rest of the morning went pretty well; just the start of a tour by none other than the mystery guy who I feel like I know, and now we're headed to lunch. I made a few friends along the way; Christina, who I feel is almost the opposite of me, but I can tell we're going to become friends, and these two guys, Will and Al. Four told us that tomorrow we start training; we won't become Dauntless members unless we rank high enough in initiation. Bring on the challenge.

"Don't look now, but you've got someone staring at you, Tris," Christina says, smirking, looking over my shoulder behind me.

"Oh joy," I say, with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Yeah, Four's been giving you strange looks since the tour," Will chimes in.

I glance over my shoulder, and my eyes are met with those same eyes I first saw after the jump. Why is he staring at me? Is there a note on my back?

I turn back around, trying to stop thinking about him. Who could he be? And why is he so familiar to me?

After lunch, we finish the rest of the tour, and are left in our room. Everyone is exhausted, so it's pretty quiet, other than the sounds of people hopping into bed. I roll onto my bed, thinking about my new life that has just begun.

I am no longer Beatrice, the selfless Abnegation; the nobody. I am now Tris, and even though I'm not yet a member, I still feel like I am truly Dauntless. I can't wait to finally show everyone who I really am tomorrow at training.

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**Sooooo, what do you think? I know, it's still kind of slow, but it's going to pick up soon, I promise! Thanks everyone who's read!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: With the few but great reviews, here is as requested, the next chapter!**

**Tris' POV**

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun," Four say, while putting the bullets into his own gun. He had just handed out the guns to everyone, and I loved how it felt in my hand. It made me remember back when I first held a knife; the feeling of the cold metal against my warm palm, only exciting me more.

I get pulled back out of my thoughts when another initiate yawns quite loudly. Everyone stares at him. Four walks up to him, flips the gun and presses the barrel into the guy's forehead.

"Wake. Up," For snaps. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it!"

That's it! I can't believe I didn't see it before! I've heard that line before, so many years ago. It was one of the first nights we started sneaking out. I wasn't used to so little sleep, and I felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open when we met up one night. Tobias was just about to hand me the knife when he pulled it back, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Wake up, Bea! You're going to be holding a dangerous weapon, act like it!"

That's him, that's Tobias! After all these years, he looks nothing like that twelve year old boy I once knew. I know I look nothing like I used to, but there doesn't seem to be any of Tobias left in this 'Four' guy. He used to be such a happy kid until he changed. Maybe that's why he was staring at me the other day; does he know who I am?

I get startled as I hear a gun go off. Tobias; well I guess I should call him Four now, lowers his gun as we all stare at the target, and the hole he made in the center of it. He always had a knack for hitting the middle. I suppress a smile at the memory.

"Ok, now it's your turn," Four says, giving us the go ahead. I hold the gun up; it's heavier than I expected. I hold it away from me, aiming towards the target. A few others have shot already; only a few hitting some part on their targets. I eye the target, not paying any attention to anything around me. This is what I live for; the powerful feeling that I am in charge, that I don't have to hide, and I certainly don't have to be afraid.

I place my finger on the trigger, steadying my hand. I am brave; I am Tris.

I eye the target, and pull my finger back, feeling the recoil of the gun in my hands. I look at where I hit the target, and I'm a little disappointed. Not exactly where I wanted it, but from the looks of it I have hit the closest to the center of the target than anyone else. A few inches to the right; I always hit to the right of a target, ever since I was ten and with the knives.

I look around quick before I get ready to shoot again. I see a few of the others looking at me, because of how well my first shot went. Who would have expected a stiff to get the closest first shot?

My eyes drift into another's; always those dark blue eyes. I can't see how I didn't recognize them before.

**[Flashback]**

"You have pretty eyes," I say, smiling my ten year old smile.

"Yea, that's what every boy wants to hear," he jokes back.

"No, I really like them. They're my new favorite color," I say, as we begin our walk to our secret place.

"Thanks, Bea. You ready for another fun night? I got a surprise for us," he says, with a glint in his eyes. I can tell by the excitement behind those dark blue eyes that tonight is going to be fun.

"Tris! You going to shoot or just stand there like a complete moron!" Christina shouts at me over the thunderous noise of the guns. I don't know how long I was just standing there, thinking back.

I notice Four is staring at me, but so are a few people around us who heard Christina scream at me. I pull my gun back up, and fire again. I shoot a few more times, each one hitting somewhere on the target. I notice that idiot who was yawning before; I think his name is Peter, glaring at me while I take another shot. I wonder what his problem is.

It only takes me a couple rounds to finally hit the center. I finally did it! That stupid middle that has taken me so long to hit, and I finally do it! Maybe I just needed to change my name for me to hit it. I wish I could go up to Four and show him that I could do it; show the Tobias who I knew so long ago that his little ten year old friend finally got her goal of hitting the middle. But I don't, because I don't know if I should tell him who I am. I'm supposed to be here to start new; start being the person I've always wanted to be. Why bring back old memories, when all they are are just that; old memories. Maybe he came here the same reason I did; to get away from our old selves. So he probably wouldn't like it if I brought up the past to him. He's someone else now, and so am I. I guess I really did say goodbye to Tobias forever when he stopped meeting up with me.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

After shooting, we headed to lunch. I thought I heard that Peter guy say something about 'the stiff', that of course being me, but I was too lost in my thoughts to hear. I sit next to Christina, Will and Al again, and started eating my food.

"Way to go Tris, I didn't know you had it in you!" Will says, taking a bite of his…what was it called….oh yea, hamburger. They are pretty delicious.

"Yea, where did you learn to shoot?" Al asks.

"I didn't, I wasn't ever taught, I just did it," I say, taking a bite of my food.

"Well you have some pretty sweet skills for Abnegation," Christina says.

I never really thought about it, but not a lot of Abnegation transfer to Dauntless. I've only ever heard of a few, but I guess I can see why. I don't know how I would have ever made it here, made it this far if it wasn't for Tobias so many years ago. I would be such a small and scared little girl if I hadn't trained for this. Who knows where I would be if it hadn't been for him. He made me into who I am today. I'd probably be a scared little factionless girl by now; probably wouldn't have had the guts to even jump on the train. But now, I'm a Dauntless initiate, waiting for the day when this place becomes my home. Waiting until I can become Tris, the Dauntless.

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**I hope you like it! I'll continue to post new chapters soon! Thanks again for reading! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: This chapter is going to be in Tobias's POV, I don't know if the rest of the story will be a mix of both his and Tris' POV, but we'll see! Hope you enjoy it!**

**Tobias's POV**

Ever since I saw her after she jumped, I felt like I knew her. She came from my old faction, but no girl was ever like her; like this girl who is so strange to me. She acts as if she's been Dauntless her whole life. The way she walks, the way she holds herself; all scream Dauntless. But coming from a faction like Abnegation, I have no idea how she became this girl. I feel as if I know her, as if I _should_ know her.

I've been carefully eyeing her, trying to find out who she is. She baffles me. How could someone who was raised to be completely selfless be such a strong person; so strong within themselves? I guess I was similar, coming from Abnegation to Dauntless also, but my life was different. I always knew I was different. That's why I wanted to be Dauntless; I knew I was born for it when I was a kid. I loved sneaking out and pretending I was someone else. Little did I know, when I thought I was pretending to be someone else, I was actually showing who I really was; who I wanted to become.

But it all changed when HE started beating me. When the man who I used to call father, the man I used to look up to, became a monster. I changed after that, I couldn't be who I wanted to be, or I would get beaten worse. If I showed little to no emotions, the beating would be less. That can really change a twelve year old. I know I had taught myself how to be brave; how to defend myself and how to fight. But I could never use it against him. He would find out; the beatings would only be worse; nothing good would come from it. I used to have this friend in Abnegation; the one who really knew who I was. She was so kind; I can picture her in Abnegation the rest of her life. After the beatings started I couldn't see her anymore; I couldn't risk _my father_ finding out about what we did and hurting her too. He never found out what we used to do; how we used to sneak out and pretend and practice being Dauntless. I used to love it back then. But he started drinking, and got violent. I couldn't risk Bea's safety; I didn't want him to even know about her, so I withdrew myself. I stopped talking to her; I closed myself off. I knew I had hurt her, she trusted me and I just completely abandoned her, but it was for her own good.

After that I just went through the motions of growing up. I would hide the bruises pretty easily, with the baggy clothes of Abnegation. Nobody every suspected a thing. Each year I prayed I could make it til the day when I could get out. When I could leave that life and start over. And that's just what I did. I left Abnegation forever, and I plan to never see that scumbag again; other than in my fear simulations. That fear will probably never leave me.

I don't know why I'm caught off guard by this girl. Nobody has ever done this to me. Her friends caught me staring at the back of her while we were eating lunch earlier. Woops. I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. I just feel like I want to know more about her, and how she became who she is.

In the training room, I start teaching the initiates how to use a gun. One idiot; Peter I think his name is, doesn't seem to comprehend that when you have an object in your hands that could easily kill someone, that you might want to have some of your brain working properly and not asleep.

I told him to wake up and act like he was holding a loaded gun. Moron. I notice Tris' eyes kind of glaze over, as if she's deep in thought about something. Why am I so concerned about her? She should just be another initiate, nothing more to me.

I face towards the target, remembering the first time I set up my own targets to throw knives at. I wonder how life would have been different if that bastard hadn't changed me; hadn't ruined my childhood. I wonder if Bea and I would still be friends. She always had a way of making me forget the world and just be myself. I'm not sure I know how to completely do that anymore. All I know how to do now is be Four; the instructor with four fears.

I pull the gun up, ready to shoot. I love the feeling of being in control of something. I had forgotten this feeling when _he_ changed me.

I aim, and shoot; hitting the spot I wanted. I always loved hitting the center of the target, and I've done this so many times that it's like second nature to me now.

"Ok, now it's your turn," I say, as I start walking behind the initiates, ready to see how they do. A few who are overly excited just jumped straight into it, firing off bullet after bullet. I notice none of them hit the target, except a few, but they're miles away from the center. I see Tris hold the gun up, and fire, hitting a few inches away from the target. I stare at her, because she hit the closest to the middle than any of the initiates. I see her look around, and she catches my eyes. I can't help but think again that I feel like I should know her.

She stares at me for a few seconds, and then it looks like her trance is broken when another initiate calls to her. She goes back to shooting, and I try not to pay too much attention to her so the others don't get the wrong idea. I do notice though when she hits the center of the target; after only a few rounds. Not many transfers can do that. I'm definitely going to keep my eye on her though, because something about her just intrigues me.

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**So I hope you like Tobias's POV, again I'm not sure if I will be doing more in his POV or just keep it all to Tris. Thanks for reading, I would love to hear your thoughts!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Tris' POV**

After lunch, we are led to a different room; this one has punching bags hanging from the ceiling.

"As I said this morning," Four says, "next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges." It seems like I'm back to being ten years old again, with Tobias teaching me how to fight again. "You will need to know this, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless." Oh, I am prepared to spend the rest of my life as a Dauntless; it is who I am.

"We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other. So I recommend that you pay attention; those who don't learn fast will get hurt." He used to know I was a fast learner. Maybe he'll figure out who I am when he sees I already know some of these moves; the moves he taught me long ago.

He shows us a few moves, slowly so we'll be able to pick them up. Most of the moves are defensive, like blocks and dodges, but then he adds in a few offensive moves. Peter speaks up. "This is stupid, how are these slow moves going to help us when someone is attacking us? When are we going to learn how to really fight?" What an idiot.

"Peter, right?" Four asks. Peter nods, and Four says, "Why don't you come up here and try to attack me any way you think you can, and see if you can win." This seems like it's going to be fun.

Peter gets up and follows Four to the ring. Four has a smirk on his face, and I can't help but follow suit because I know what's going to happen. I may not know this Four guy, but I know Tobias knew how to fight, and I bet Four has only gotten better.

Peter looks at Four, and then lunges at him, hoping to catch him off guard. Four dodges, showing us one of the moves he just taught us. Clever Four, showing that idiot that you do use these moves in a fight. Peter tries to punch Four, but Four blocks it; another defensive move he just showed us. Four hasn't even tried to take Peter down; he's just on the defense. But I can tell that's going to change soon. Peter tries again to hit Four, but this time, Four catches his hand, and sweeps his foot behind Peter's, making Peter fall straight on his back on the floor. Four's hand rises to punch Peter, and then he stops and pulls back.

"That is how you take someone down who is too cocky. Peter here thought he can just use his force to take me down, but trained fighters can anticipate your move. Here I am teaching you how to be a trained fighter; how to both defend yourself and how to get the upper hand. Now would anyone else like to try and take me down?" Four asks. Don't do it, don't do it, don't do...okay. A smile crosses my face as Four looks around. I take a step forward and move into the ring.

I may be being a little; and yes when I say a little I mean a lot, overconfident. I know he's probably going to throw me flat on my face, but I don't care. I want to show him what I can do. I've never actually fought someone; we always used to practice slowly when we were kids, not actually fighting. And tomorrow we start actual fights, so why not get a little practice right now by actually fighting someone?

Maybe he'll recognize who I am when I show him the moves he taught me years ago. Most of the ones he taught today are the ones we used to do back in the day, but there were a few of our own we invented, in our little kid minds that I'd like to show him.

"I'll take a go," I said, still smirking.

Four looks a little weary about fighting me; he better not be doing that just because I'm a girl.

"Okay, let's see how you do," he says.

I take the first go, since I know he's going to stay on the defense until he sees an opening. I try to get a punch in, but every punch I throw is blocked. He threw a punch, and was surprised when I defended it. Sensing he was thrown off guard by that, I decided to throw in a different move. I wait for his next punch, anticipating how he's going to throw it. I see his right hand clench a little more, and he lunges it forward. I react and slide to the left, grabbing his arm as he misses me, and tucking it behind him. I had him there for a second, when he kicked my footing out from me, both of us falling on the ground; him on top of me, straddling my midsection. I put my hands up to block my face from the punch he's about to throw when he stops, just like he did with Peter. He gets up, and offers me a hand. Me being the competitive person I have now become, slap it away and get up. I hate losing.

He smirks at me, while I just scowl and get back in line by the other transfers. I know I had him for a second, I didn't just lose completely. And I knew he knew I had him; that move was his long ago. It's not such a secretive move that nobody on Earth would know what it is, but I'm pretty sure they don't teach it a lot.

"Nice try, Tris. You almost had me there for a second," he says, and I can hear the proudness in his voice. Jerk. But I can tell he didn't notice that move used to be his; or if he did he hid it pretty well.

"Okay, now since the fun is over, I'd like everyone to get to a punching bag and practice," he says, always the instructor again.

I make my way to a bag, and start letting my anger out on it. I notice other people watching me, but I don't care. I was just humiliated in front of everyone. I don't want to be known as someone who is weak.

I take one glance over at Four, and see him watching me again. Then I turn back to the bag and pound on it.

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**Thank you all who have read my story! I hope you enjoyed it and keep coming back!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: PLEASE READ! CAUTION! This chapter may get a little descriptive. You've been warned. I have added an author's note in the story towards the end, where you will be able to skip the mature content. You can probably tell by this note where it's going. But I wanted the story to take a dramatic turn, and it might bring some characters closer together; kind of like it did in Divergent. Thank again for reading!**

******If you're like me and usually skip the author's note, please read the one above. Mature content is in this chapter, and I wanted you to be warned.******

**Tris' POV**

After training, everyone went to dinner. While I was sitting next to my friends, Peter and Drew came up behind me.

"Look what we have here, a Stiff who thinks she's all that," Peter says. I know he's just trying to get a rise out of me, but he's not going to get it.

I ignore him, while Christina defends me. "Go away Peter, just because she did better fighting Four than you did doesn't mean you have to gang up on her. Grow up." I'll have to remember to thank her later. She is turning out to be a great friend.

"Ha, she fought him better than I did? I don't know what you were watching, but the fight I saw she still landed on her butt and made a fool of herself!"

That's it! I stand up, and push him back, ready to start using those moves we learned. He brings his hand up, ready to punch me, when all of a sudden Four appears.

"Relax, both of you. You'll get the chance to beat the crap out of each other soon enough." Four says, in his stern, demanding voice, while placing his hands on each of our shoulders.

Peter looks at him, then back at me; glaring. Then he shakes off Four's hand and walks away, bringing Drew with him. I have a bad feeling about him, but right now all I can think about is Four's hand on my shoulder. There seemed to be like an electric current running between his hand and my shoulder. I've never felt anything like it before. It's not like this is the first time we've touched; when we were kids fighting, but it was never there. Even when we were fighting just a couple hours ago, I didn't feel it. Maybe I was too focused on beating him that I didn't notice it. Does he feel the same thing?

As much as I don't want to, I shake off his hand and grab my food tray and chuck it in the garbage. I really hate that Peter kid. I storm out of the room, heading towards the chasm. It may be the only place I can think.

When I get up there, I sit against the rock, looking towards the railing.

I hate thinking that people think I'm weak. I know Four was only just preventing a fight in the cafeteria, but it then looked like I couldn't stand up for myself. Like I need a bodyguard. And I don't. I can't wait to kick Peter's ass soon in the ring.

I don't know how long I stayed up here. It's had to have been a few hours. I should get a watch. I lost track of time in my thoughts, thinking back to when I knew Tobias, thinking back on my old family, and even on the future. So much has changed from back then, and it feels like so much is still going to change from here on out.

I had heard people heading towards the dorms a little while ago. I guess I should do the same. Tomorrow's a big day. I get up from my spot and stretch; I had been sitting for quite a while.

Just as I was about to turn the corner down the hall, a hand grabs my mouth and another grips around my chest, catching both my arms before I can fling them up.

A blind fold is put on my head, making it impossible for me to see my attackers. Two pairs of arms are holding me down, while another ties my hands behind my back. I try biting at the hand on my mouth, and catch it, earning a "ow!" by one of them. Kind of sounded like Al; why would he be doing this?

He removes his hand and just as I was about to scream, tape get wrapped around my mouth; now I can't scream. I thrash and thrash against them, trying to find a way out. I can't die here. I have so much to live for now that I have just started my new life.

I feel my body being lifted off the ground, and I get shoved onto the railing. They're going to throw me off; I'm going to actually die.

My back is against the railing, my feet too far from the ground for me to be safe. One pair of hands is keeping me from falling to my death. I stop thrashing, so I won't send myself off the ledge. I try to calm myself.

"Okay, we scared her, now let's go before someone sees us!" one of them shouts. That one sounded like Drew, although I can't be too sure because he never really talked to me.

"Oh no, I'm not going to be done for her for a while. Bring her back over the ledge, Al. I got something else in mind for her than a simple death." Peter. I knew it. I knew he was going to do something to me; I just never thought he would kill me.

"What? You told us we were going to scare her and be done! I'm not going to be a part of this anymore!" Al screams. I trusted him as my friend, and now he's going to leave me here to die.

I hear two sets of feet walking away; that leaves me alone with Peter. I can't do much, since I'm blindfolded, my mouth is taped, and my hands are tied. Peter has both his hands on my arms, making me walk; in a direction I don't know, and to where I don't know.

We don't get far when I hear him open a door, only leaving one hand on me. This is my chance! I try to break out of his grip, but he trips me before I can, and my head gets rammed into the stone wall. I just laid there for a second, trying to get my mind back together, but I see dots in my vision on the blindfold. This isn't good. My head is spinning; I need to stay awake. I won't be able to survive if I'm unconscious.

He drags my body into the room he just opened. Smells like cleaning supplies in here. Must be a closet. My head is still spinning when he starts to talk.

"Well it seems you aren't as tough as everyone thinks you are, huh?" He's taunting me. I wish I could just strangle him. I feel a warm liquid on my head; I must be bleeding. I hit my head pretty bad. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stay awake. Maybe if I drift into unconsciousness it will all be over. I'll be in my bed back in the dorm, and it will all just be a dream. But I don't think it's going to happen that way.

"I'm going to make you wish you never showed me up!" He lifts my head up and smashes it on the ground, hitting the same spot I hit earlier from falling. I won't be awake much longer, I can tell.

I hear him flip open a knife. So this is going to be the end. This is how I die. I never thought about how I was going to die. But I never would have imagined it would be like this.

"But I'm not going to kill you just yet. No, I'm going to make you wish you were dead. And when I'm finished with you, you'll be begging me to kill you!" He slides the knife over my neck, not pressing it hard enough to cut me, and then cuts into my shirt, tearing it all the way down until it falls off. No, please, not like this. I'm strong, but I'm not that strong. I can't….I can't, I won't be able to…..please. Not this.

**AN: Mature Content below. Skip to next author's note if you choose to not want to read it.**

"We're going to have a little fun, aren't we?" he asks, and I can hear a smile on his face. I wish for the darkness to overtake me now. It will make this all go away. But it's not, and I know I'm going to be awake for the whole thing. Nobody is going to find me in here, wherever here is. I'm going to be raped and killed in here.

He cuts off the rest of my clothing, revealing all of me. I hate this, I wish I could die. Nobody should ever see me like this, not unless I want them to. Tears a sliding down my face, and that only makes him laugh.

"Poor, poor, Tris. You'll get over it someday." He's sick. His hands are moving all around on me; there's nothing I can do to stop him. I tried to squirm, but he puts the knife blade on my stomach.

"If you keep moving and ruining my fun, I'm going to make this worse for you!" How could this be any worse? He uses the knife and makes a few cuts on me; on my stomach, my thighs, my arms. I hear him unzipping his own pants. Then it happens. The pain is unbearable. I try to scream, but the tape won't give. Everything in me hurts. But he keeps going, only making the pain worse. He's not being quiet at all either. He sounds as if he's enjoying every second of it.

**AN: End of Mature Content.**

I can feel myself slipping now. I wish it would have come earlier. Then I wouldn't have to feel this, all this hurt. Right before I am completely washed by the darkness, I hear the door open, and feel Peter being pulled off of me.

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**Thanks for reading! I'll post more soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: Thanks for bearing with me! Hope you love it! Now as requested, here's some more of Tobias's POV. Enjoy!**

**Tobias's POV**

After both Tris and Peter stormed out of the room, I went back to my table to finish eating.

"What was that all about?" Lauren asks.

"I don't know. But I had to fight both of them today in training. Peter was being an idiot and thought the moves I was showing him weren't going to help in a real fight. Once I took him down within a couple seconds, I asked if anyone else wanted a go. Tris volunteered."

"You fought the Stiff?" she asked.

"Her name is Tris, and yes. I took her down just like I did Peter. I didn't hit either of them though, if that's what you're thinking. I'm not here to beat up the transfers." I joke. Lauren has been one of the good friends I've had here. It's been so long since I've had a real friend, and although Lauren barely knows me, she's kind of like me where we just want some company.

"So what was with them over there?" What's with all her questions today?

"I don't know, maybe Peter thought she was trying to show him up?" I guessed.

"Well you might have to keep an eye on those two; that guy doesn't look like he's in his right mind." Lauren adds. I have to agree with her. He kind of looked like he was devising a plan when he walked away.

"I'll talk to you later, Lauren," I say as I get up. I throw away my tray, and start walking to my secret place in the chasm. I found this place when I was wondering around when I first got here. I don't know of anyone else who knows about it. It's near the rushing water, and when I watch the water, it makes me feel free. I can spend hours just staring at it, getting lost in my thoughts. And that's exactly what I did apparently.

I notice it's getting late, and when I was about to get up and leave I thought I heard something above me. I'm sometimes a little paranoid down here, thinking a body is going to land right in front of me. People have jumped from up there, so when I'm not too deep in my thoughts, I always glance up there just to make sure someone's not going to do it while I'm down here. I never usually see anything. But there's a first for everything.

When I look up, I see blonde hair flowing over the railing. It looks like someone is being held against the rail! Before another thought enters my mind, I start running. I don't know who it is, but nobody should die like that; being thrown down into the chasm. It's quite a ways to get up there from where I was, and when I make it, nobody is there.

I couldn't have imagined that. I'm not that crazy. I look around, trying to find some indication that what I saw was real. I don't know why, but I felt a pull bringing me down a hallway nearby. Nobody usually is around here; there's just a bunch of closets for cleaning supplies. But as I walk by one, something catches my eye.

Blood.

There was blood on the wall near the door. As I reach for the handle, I hear noises. Disgusting noises. Someone sounds like they're enjoying themselves, and it makes me think twice about opening the door. I don't want to walk in on a couple of teens having sex, but the blood and the girl hanging over the edge had me worried.

I try to open the door, but it's locked. I step back, and kick the door, knowing it will open under my foot.

I'm not prepared for what I saw. Peter, is on top of a girl, who's blindfolded and her mouth is taped shut. He's raping her! Anger courses through my body, and I lunge at him.

I get him off of her, and pull him out of the tiny room. I beat him senseless, not caring how he'll turn out when I'm done with him. I want to kill him; nobody should ever do this! I beat him to a bloody pulp, when I my senses return and I think about the girl. I run in there, leaving Peter's mangled body out there in the hallway, and take my shirt off to cover her. I carefully take the tape off her mouth, and use the knife nearby to cut the ties on her wrists off. Then I gently take off the blindfold, and I my suspicions as to who this was were confirmed.

Tris.

I try to push the anger running through me aside, and focus on her. I have to get her help. I carefully pick her up, trying not to hurt her more than she already is. Once she is fully in my arms, I hastily make my way to the infirmary. I don't know how long she's been unconscious, but she starts to stir in my arms. I slow my pace so I can explain to her I'm helping her; that I'm not the bad guy.

She starts to thrash around when her eyes open. Fear is all they read. She claws at me, so I stop walking and set her down gently. I need her to hear me.

"Tris, it's me, Four. I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here to help." Tears filled her eyes, and I gently place my hands her head, trying to get her to see me. I keep whispering calming things to her, how she's safe, and nobody's going to hurt her anymore. She slowly calms down, and I tell her I need to take her to the infirmary.

"No," she whispers, almost so quietly that I didn't hear.

"Tris, you're hurt. I need to get you help." I say, hoping she'll let me bring her there.

"Please, no," she says again. I don't know why she doesn't want to go to the infirmary. She's hurt; I saw the cuts on her body.

"Where do you want me to take you? Are you okay with coming to my room? I mean, I can help you there…." I say, not knowing what else to do. I feel helpless.

She nods, and I pick her up again. I can't believe this happened to her.

I open the door and carry her towards my bed. I gently lay her down. She winces a little, but keeps a brave face. I can tell she's hurting; I have no idea how to help.

"Tris, I'm going to help you. I need to know what hurts." I see more tears fill her eyes, and instinctively I go to wipe them away. I don't know why, but I need her to be okay. She shy's away from my touch.

"Please, Tris," I beg; I need to know what needs to be treated.

I stare into her eyes, hoping she can see the need I have to help her; to make her better. I don't know what's gotten over me, but I just have to make sure she is alright. This girl, who I have known for less than a couple days, is completely changing me.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Tris' POV**

I knew I wasn't dead; there's too much pain for that. But I also knew I was being carried, and if it was him, that monster, I had to get away. I started thrashing at him. I open my eyes, and I see who it is, but that doesn't make me stop. How do I know he's here to help me? He could be here to hurt me too.

He set me down when I start clawing at him. I need to get away, I need to be safe! Tears fill my eyes, and he grabs my head so I look at him, and I really look at him. His mouth is moving, but I don't hear anything. All I see are those dark blue eyes, and I picture us being kids again. I picture us being happy back then. Those memories calm me down a little, because I know he would never hurt me. I hear him say something about bringing me to the infirmary, and I don't want that. I don't want anyone else to see me like this. I don't care if it's a doctor; if they see me somebody else might. And I can't let that happen.

I tell him no, and he then tells me he can take me to his room. I know he doesn't have any idea what to do with me; I'm just a hurt little girl. How is he supposed to know how to fix me? Can anyone fix me after…

I can't think about it. It will only make me cry harder. We get to his room, and he sets me on his bed. I can tell he's being gentle, like at any moment I could break. Honestly, I feel like that might happen.

He asks what hurts; I want to say everything, but that won't get us anywhere. I slowly move my hand. I figure my head should be number one priority, then the cuts. I'm not having him help me with the other pain.

I motion to the top of my head. He turns the lamp towards it, to get a better look.

"Ok, this looks pretty bad, but it doesn't look deep enough to need stitches. I'm going to run and grab my first aid kid. Don't worry, it's just over there." He says it like if he moves I'm going to just fall apart. I guess I didn't realize though how much he was holding me together, because when he moved, I felt my heart racing again. My breathing picks up, and I don't know what's going on. I'm panicking, I can tell that much.

"Tris!" Four runs back towards me, still being cautious, and tries to calm me down. The second his touch is on me, I calm down. I don't know how he did it, but it reminds me back to that electric current I felt before from him. His touch reminds me of who he used to be; of Tobias.

After I calmed down enough, he works on the wound on my head. He cleans it up, and then looks at me, silently asking if it's alright to work on the cuts.

I nod, and I help him out by moving the shirt on me up a little, revealing the cuts on my thighs. I don't want to watch him fix my cuts, cleaning them, so I just stare at his face. I notice how much his face has changed. His features have become more distinct. But I can't help but stare into his eyes. Those eyes, they used to have so much joy in them, look so pained right now.

After he gets the cuts on my thighs and then my arms cleaned up, he asks if there are more.

"There are a few on my stomach," I whisper. I can't bring myself to be any louder than a whisper. The energy in me is just drained.

He grabs a blanket near the end of his bed, and drags it over my legs, and up to my waist. I can tell what he's doing, so I help him out. I squirm a little and raise the shirt up; making sure the blanket keeps my lower half covered, so he'll be able to work on the cuts on my stomach.

After he was done with those, he looks like he doesn't know what else to do.

"Can I use your bathroom?" I ask. I don't know if I'll be able to be in there alone, without his touch to calm me down, but I'll have to try. There's nothing else he can do to help me. He's done so much more than I could've asked for.

He nods, telling me I can use anything in there I need.

I slowly get up, holding the shirt against me. He turns around, to give me some privacy, and I instantly miss his eyes.

I get into the bathroom, and start the shower. I want to get _his_ hand off me, his touch. I want to get rid of everything he did to me. I take a hot shower, hoping to burn him off me. Tears fall down my cheeks, mixing with the water. The water burns my cuts, but not as bad as the pain down there. I try not to think about it, as I wash myself.

The shower lasts for what seems like hours, and my fingers become wrinkled. I decide to get out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me. I realize I have no clothes to put on. Almost as if he read my mind, Tobias knocks on the door, saying he has some I can wear. I take them, and quickly put them on.

I open the door, and notice he changed his sheets. I feel kind of bad, I probably ruined them. I don't know what came over me next, but I just start to cry. I drop down to my knees, only a few feet from the bathroom, and just cry. Everything just hit me like a wall, everything that happened.

Tobias runs to me, picks me up and brings me to the bed. Then he just holds me. And that's pretty much all that he can do, and that seems to be all I need. He holds me as I cry. I don't think I've ever felt so scared, so tired, so hurt in my whole life. I came here thinking I would become this strong, brave person. And look at me know, I'm the complete opposite. This place broke me. _He_ broke me. I don't know if I'll ever be the same as I was.

Tobias stokes my hair, calming me down. I feel myself falling asleep, but I want him to know how much he saved me tonight; how much I am grateful for.

Right before I fall asleep, I whisper, "Thank you, Tobias," then drift away.

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**Soooo…..? What do you think? I love reading reviews, so please post one! Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Tobias' POV**

I liked it how she calmed down whenever I was near her. I don't know why, but she calmed me down too. I sometimes felt this kind of electric shock whenever she touched me; the first time was when she tried to fight me. I could tell she was falling asleep, her breaths became longer, and I noticed the tears stopped falling. I kept stroking her hair, as she lay in my arms. I've never felt this strongly about a girl; but I can't think about my feelings for her right now, not after what just happened to her.

I can tell it will be soon before she's completely out, when I hear her say something. Something that I had to have heard wrong.

"Thank you, Tobias," she whispered. Did she just say my name? It's not possible for her to know that. I must have been dreaming. Nobody in Dauntless knows my name; knows my past.

How could this girl; this girl I've known for a few days, know my name? I had to have dreamt that. She couldn't know it.

I don't know how long I spent thinking about what I heard, but eventually, with the sound of her even breathing, I drifted off into sleep.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

I wake up, and try to shake off the sleep, when I see the clock and it says its only two am. I realize it must have been Tris who woke me up; she's moving around a lot. I can tell she's having a nightmare, and I can only imagine what it's about. I try to calm her down, but she only shakes more. Tears are running down her cheeks, and I wipe them away. I try to wake her up.

"Tris, wake up. It's just a dream. I'm here, it's okay," I whisper, trying not to startle her.

She shoots up from my arms, not realizing where she is. It takes her a moment, until she remembers everything. I can see in her eyes; it's like watching it all play back. The fear shown in her eyes; I don't ever want to see it again.

She looks down at me, and I smile, showing her I care.

"It's okay, Tris." I say, not knowing what else to say. She stares into my eyes, and I watch as the fear slowly goes away.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask. What a stupid question, of course she doesn't. But I don't know what else to do.

She looks weary, and shakes her head no. "Okay, you don't have to. Do you want me to get you something? How can I make you feel better?" I ask, not meaning to ask that last question.

She pauses for a moment, and I start to think I went too far. Then she says, "Just hold me please," and she lays her head back down on my chest. I stroke her hair again, something I'm starting to really like doing.

I think back, and remember what she said earlier, when she thanked me before falling asleep.

"Tris, can I ask you a question?" She tenses, maybe thinking I'm going to ask about the attack.

"What did you call me earlier, when you thanked me?" I know this isn't really the time, being it's two in the morning, but I need to know.

She lifts her head a little, enough where she is able to look me in the eyes. She searches for something in them; I don't know what she's trying to find. Maybe she's trying to tell me something with them.

"I…..I called….you Tobias," she says, so quietly I almost missed it.

"How do you know that name?" I ask. I need to know how she knows me.

But she hesitates, unsure if she wants to tell me. I don't understand why she doesn't want to, but maybe I should just let it go for now.

"You don't have to tell me now, but I would like to know some day," I say, not wanting to upset her anymore tonight. She nods, and rests her head back on my chest. It doesn't take long for her to fall back asleep, and I follow right after her.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

We're woken up by the blasted alarm, telling me it's time to get ready for the day. I look at Tris, and can't help but notice even after all that's happened to her, she's beautiful when she wakes.

"Tris," I say, getting her to look at me while she sits up, while her flinches don't go unnoticed by me. "You don't have to go today, I tell someone what happened" I start, but she doesn't let me finish.

"No. Don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to think I'm…" she trails off, and I can't help but feel like she was going to say weak. How could she think that? She showed me how strong and brave she was the second I met her, and after all this, it's only proven to me she is stronger than I thought.

"You aren't weak," I say, making her look into my eyes. "You are one of the strongest people I've met, Tris." I don't know what else to do; I don't know how to fix this.

"It's fine, I can go today." She gets up off the bed, winching a little at every movement. I wish I could make it go away.

"Tris," I start. "We begin fighting today. You're in no condition to be fighting." I don't want to see her hurt any more than she already is.

She doesn't look at me. I wish I knew what she was thinking. "I'll go, I'll be fine," she says again.

I get up, and gently reach for her hand. I grab it, feeling the electric shock like before. She turns to me, and I stare into her eyes.

"I know you're going to be fine, but…" I start, but again she cuts me off.

"I'm not going to miss a day of initiation, Tobias. I don't want to give anyone a reason to believe I don't belong here." She has so much determination in her voice that I believe it; she does belong here. After everything that happened, she is truly Dauntless. And the fact that she said my name again doesn't go unnoticed by me, but I let it slide this time.

I tell her it's about lunch time, if she wants to run to her room to get clothes. She thinks that's a good idea, but then pauses at the door.

"I'll come with," I say without thinking, then after a second I think it's a good idea since I don't know what happened with that piece of scum.

We walk out, and start towards her dorm. I feel the want to grab her hand; to have her touch on me, making sure I know she's there and okay.

When we get there, only Christina is in there. I wait outside the door, and listen in on their conversation.

"Oh my gosh, Tris! Where were you? I looked everywhere for you, and you never came to the room last night!" She runs up to Tris to give her a hug, but Tris' expression stops her. "Tris, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I….I was attacked last night." Tris says, knowing that if she lied Christina would know.

"What?! By who? Are you okay?" She starts asking.

"Peter," was all Tris got out, when Christina gasped.

"You probably didn't hear, did you? Peter was found in the chasm this morning. His body was a bloody mess. Did you…" she started to ask Tris, but Tris stopped her. I can't say I'm sad about him dying.

"I didn't do anything to him. He attacked me, along with Drew and Al. Then those two ran away and he…..he…." Tris couldn't say it. But she didn't have to, Christina knew from her expression.

"Oh god, Tris!" Christina starts crying, which only makes Tris cry. How am I supposed to deal with two girls crying now? I didn't know what to do when one was. They didn't cry for long though, Tris must have remembered I was out here, because a few minutes later she came out, in new, Dauntless clothes, and with her head held high. I'm proud of her, that she can still look stunning and brave after everything she's been through.

"Ready to go?" she asks me, with a little something extra in her voice. It seems like since she knows Peter is no longer out there, she can feel a little safer.

"Yep," I say, as we head down to grab a bite to eat.

I realized on our walk to the cafeteria, that none of the initiates will be fighting today, because there will be a funeral for Peter. I stop in the hallway, touching Tris on the arm for her to halt too.

"After we eat, we're still supposed to go to the training room, but only for a couple minutes. There will be a funeral for that piece of shit, and then everyone will have the rest of the day off. Tris, I know I don't want to go to that funeral, and I can't imagine you want to any more than I do. Would you like to come back to my room during it? I…enjoy your company." I added that last part just to make it sound like I wasn't being a creep or anything.

She thinks for a second, and nods, and then starts walking down the hallway. I can't help the smile that forms on my face as I walk next to her.

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**I hope you're enjoying the story! Please leave a review, I love seeing what you have to say! Thanks again for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Tris' POV**

He's gone. He's actually gone. I don't ever have to be afraid of him attacking me again; of doing _that_ to me again. I can be my old self again; I can be the brave Tris I know I am.

Tobias was my savior last night; in more ways than one. He saved me from….him, and saved me from myself. Without him there last night, I don't know what would have happened to me. I could see myself slipping; see myself going into darkness, not finding a way out. But he was my light.

I don't know why, but whenever his touch was on me I was instantly calm. Maybe it's because I feel safe with him. But I don't know this Four guy at all barely, but I saw the Tobias I used to know come alive when he was helping me; when he was calming me.

Maybe the Tobias I knew six years ago is still in him. Maybe he's just hiding him; I don't know why he would want to do that. The Tobias I knew was born to be Dauntless; always acted like it. Well at least until he changed. But I now know the Tobias I once knew is still in there.

I'm just not sure if I should tell him who I am. What if he doesn't want me here then? Or what if he starts thinking of me as Beatrice; the shy, not brave girl I used to be? I want him to know I'm Tris, that nothing can stop me.

That's who I've become, and that's who I am. I'm not going to let what Peter did keep me from being who I am. I know I'm not going to be perfectly alright right away, but I know I will be myself again someday.

Tob…I mean Four, asked me if I wanted to go back to his room after we meet in the training room. I loved the idea; I definitely don't want to go to the funeral. That sick bastard doesn't deserve one.

As we walk to the cafeteria, I hear footsteps running towards us. I instantly tense, imagining last night. I see Four look at me out of the corner of his eye, then must have realized something.

He turned around and said, "Hey, Christina." I calmed down, my breathing became even again. How could something so little as footsteps freak me out? I'm not scared!

"Hey guys!" Christina says slowing her jog once she reaches us.

"Ready for some fights?" she says as we walk into the cafeteria. We get our food and sit down, and I make sure Four sits by us. I forgot about Al; he used to always sit by us. I hope he doesn't try to today.

"We won't be fighting today," I say, munching on my food.

"Yea, since there's a funeral for that PIECE OF SH-," I touch Four's arm to calm him down; he was almost shouting. People are staring at us.

"Well you guys get the day off to mourn, or celebrate; whichever you decide," Four says. He relaxes a little; I wonder if it was because of my touch, like how he relaxes me with his touch.

"Hey guys," Will says, sitting down next to us. "When did we become the cool kids who get to sit next to their instructor?"

Four smiles and I can't help but join him. I don't think I've smiled since, but his is contagious.

"Will! We don't have to fight today!" Christina says excitedly. Maybe she doesn't realize we still have to fight, it's just pushed back a day.

"Sweet! Is it because of the funeral?" He asks.

"It shouldn't be called a funeral; he doesn't deserve one." Christina says, and you can hear the hatred in her voice. I tense; I don't want him to know. I don't want anyone to know.

Will looks a little confused, by her change in demeanor. He looks between the three of us, trying to find some hint as to what is going on. I look away, hoping he doesn't try to read me.

I whisper over to Christina. "If you trust him, you can tell him later. But I don't want him to know here, right now." I know she kind of has a thing for him, so I don't want her to have to lie to him.

She nods, and whispers something like "I'll tell you later" to Will, and he drops the topic.

We finish eating, and get up and walk to the training room. Four says it's only to tell all the transfers about what happened, as if they don't already know, and that we get the day off.

As we near the room, I start getting nervous. I hadn't thought about it, but Al and Drew will be in there. They were part of the attack on me; they let _him_ do that to me! I can feel the nervousness start turning into anger; into hate. How could they let someone do that?! And how could Al, someone who pretended to be my friend, betray me like that? I feel my fists start to clench as we reach the door.

Christina reaches the door first, and opens it and walks in. As I reach for the door handle, Four grabs my arm gently and pulls me to the side before we walk in.

"You're going to be okay, right?" He asks, still holding my arm carefully.

I realize he doesn't know the full story. He doesn't know about Al and Drew helping _him_. But he must have sensed my attitude change as we were walking. I kind of like how he's paying attention to me, but I can't tell if it's because he thinks I'm going to snap, going to break, or if it's for some other reason.

"Yea, I'll be fine," I keep saying those words; as if I say them enough they will become true.

He nods, looks me in the eyes one last time, and walks in the room. I follow him, and head over to sit next to Christina and Will. I try not to look for them, but I see Al and Drew out of the corner of my eye. Al looks…sad. Why would he look sad? He knew he was throwing me to the dogs when he left. It's partially is fault this happened to me. I don't know how Drew looks; he's probably like _him_ who has no heart.

"Okay everyone," Four begins. "You probably heard by now that we have one less transfer here. Because of his death, we won't be training today, so the fights will begin tomorrow. There is a funeral starting in a half hour, then after that you have the rest of the day off. Now get out of here," Four says. I can tell he hated _him_; it seems almost as much as I do.

Everyone files out of the room, most heading down to the Pit for the funeral. I see Al hanging around the door. He better leave. I don't even want to look at his face, let alone talk to him.

It's just Al, Four, and I left in the room now. Christina looked at me before she left, silently asking if she should wait for me. I shook my head at her, giving her the go ahead to leave with Will. They'd make a cute couple.

Four was busy on the other side of the room, doing who knows what, when Al walks up to me. He keeps his head down, and when he gets a few feet away from me he looks up. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but my fist rises up and collides with his face.

"You stupid son of a bitch!" I scream, throwing more and more punches at him and knocking him to the ground. "You left me with that psycho; you KNEW what he was going to do to me! You helped him attack me then left me with him tied up!" I'm now on top of him, just throwing everything I have into punching him.

I feel strong arms grab me, pulling him off of me. I probably would have freaked out by that if it wasn't for the electric feeling, telling me it was Four. I thrash against Four, trying to get back to beating Al.

"Let go of me! He deserves this!" I scream, trying to get out of his grasp. He now has his arms wrapped around me, with my back pressed up against his chest. He just holds me there, waiting for me to calm down.

"I know he deserves it, Tris. He probably deserves worse. But this isn't you. Please, calm down," he says calmly. I hate his calm voice right now; I want to be angry. I NEED to get this anger out of me. He feels me relax, and loosens his grip on me.

Al is lying on the ground, curled up in pain. Good, he deserved it. Four lets go of me, after making sure I wasn't going to attack Al again. He goes over to Al, and whispers something in his ear. I sounded something like "Get out of here" and "If I ever hear you touched her again, I'll kill you myself" but I couldn't be sure.

Al tries getting up, and eventually crawls out of the room. I didn't know I could do that much damage to a person. I still feel the anger, the hate boiling inside me. I have to get it out; I have to do something!

I quickly walk out of the room and down the hall to the next room; the room we were in a few days ago. I know Four's following me, but I don't care. I go to the closet where I saw Four put them away, and grab a gun. I grab a few rounds, and walk over to line up with the target. And I shoot. I just keep shooting.

I imagine the target as _him_, and I let all my anger go with each shot. The recoil of the gun only fuels me, giving me the power and control I yearn for right now. I just keep shooting, until I've gone through a few rounds. Then I lower my hands, and drop the gun to the floor; staring at the target.

I didn't realize there were tears running down my cheeks until I was finished. I just stood there, letting them fall. I stare at the target, and see I hit every shot within an inch or two of the center.

I start to calm down, and Four walks over to me.

"Are you," he starts, but I interrupt him.

"If you ask if I'm okay, I'm going to smack you," I say, kind of rudely. I know he's just trying to help, but I'm not in the mood.

The corners of his mouth curve up, forming a small smile. I don't know what he's smiling about, but it's calming me down more. I feel the tears stop, and without thinking, I walk over to him. He must have read my mind, because a second later, he puts his arms around me, engulfing me in a hug. This feels like all I need right now; just to be held by strong, warm arms. I know I don't trust a lot of people right now, but I can't help but trust Four, because I once knew him, and I feel like I still do.

"Come on," he says as he loosens his grip on me. I don't want him to let go; I feel safe in his arms. "Let's go back to my room." It's still pretty early; I don't know what we're going to do the rest of the day.

We walk out of the room, after Four puts the gun away. I wish I could take it with me. But I guess as long as Four is next to me I'll feel as safe as I do holding a gun.

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**Since this was an extra-long chapter I expect some extra reviews! I love reading them! Thanks again for reading, I'll post more soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Tris' POV**

As we walk up to the door of his room, Four turns to me.

"Can I run a quick errand? I'll be back within a few minutes. You can make yourself at home in there." I nod, wondering what he has to go do.

He opens the door, and after making sure I will be alright in here, he walks out, closing the door behind him. I look around his room, and for the first time I take it all in. Of course I hadn't looked around his room the last time I was here.

I walk around, looking at the bare walls and then I notice something on the table next to his bed. There's a knife on it. This knife looks familiar. It's the first knife we used to throw six years ago. I can't believe he still has it. I sit on the bed, and pick it up, feeling the coldness of it against my skin. It reminds me of when we were just kids; when we didn't even know the thing that happened to me even existed. I kind of wish I could go back to those days, but I've come so far.

I know I'll probably never forget what happened to me, but I can at least push it aside for now. I don't have to have it change me completely; I can use it to make me stronger.

I don't know how long I sat there looking at the knife, feeling it in my hands, remembering the past with it, but the door opens and Four walks in. He sees me holding the knife, and walks over to me. He sits next to me on the bed, and gently takes it from my hand. I wonder if he had gotten the wrong thoughts by me holding it. I would never hurt myself, if that's what he was thinking.

Maybe if I ask about the knife he'll tell me about it; about the past it has. He might even mention me; maybe I could find out the reason he stopped talking to me, stopped hanging out with me.

"That's a cool knife, where did you get it?" I always did wonder where he got all the knives we used.

He plays with the knife, spinning it around in his hands. "I got it when I was younger," he says. Well I could have told him that.

"How old were you when you got it?" I ask.

"I was…" he trails off. I wonder why he doesn't want to tell me. He stops looking at the knife, and turns to me. I stare into those blue eyes, the eyes that I'm starting to love looking in to, for what feels like eternity.

"You can trust me, you know," I whisper, looking down at my hands. Maybe he doesn't; I'm just a new transfer to him. I could be gone in a few days if I don't pass initiation. Maybe I don't mean anything to him, that he was just being a nice guy by saving my life.

He reaches up and gently pulls my chin up, making me look into those eyes again. I seem to get easily lost in them.

"I do trust you, Tris," he says. He stares into my eyes as I stare into his. I don't know how long we just stared into each other's eyes. He then speaks up again.

"I got it when I was twelve," he starts. He stands up from the bed, and starts walking around the room. "I was a transfer like you, you know," he says, turning to me. I do know, I want to say, but I don't. I probably should wait until after initiation to tell him who I used to be.

"We're not so different, you and I. I was one of the few who have ever transferred from Abnegation to Dauntless, and now so are you."

"You got a knife when you were twelve in Abnegation?" I ask, playing dumb. I'm pretty good at playing dumb, and it's kind of fun.

"I had more than one. This was just the first one I got," he starts telling me, and I can see in his eyes he is thinking back to when he first got it.

Those eyes are almost as good as telling the story as he is.

*******PAGE BREAK & REWIND********

**Tobias's POV**

I pause outside the door to my room, and I turn to Tris.

"Can I run a quick errand? I'll be back within a few minutes. You can make yourself at home in there," I say, hopping she'll let me. There's something I have to do.

She nods, and I open the door for her. I make sure she's going to be alright, and then I leave, heading down to the Pit, where there should be a funeral just about starting.

As much as I don't want to be there, don't want any part of it, I need to inform someone about something. That lowlife they're going to be calling brave and courageous shouldn't be seen as that, he should be seen for what he really was.

I make my way there, and walk up to Eric. As much as I don't like the guy, I know he's going to listen to me and change the speech he was going to say about Peter. It's his duty as a Dauntless leader to tell everyone the truth, and he knows it.

I tell him everything I know, leaving out who the person was he was raping, and how I beat him up and left him there. I ask him if he thinks this was a suicide, or if he thinks someone threw the body into the chasm.

He thinks the latter, and I can tell from his expression he _knows_ it's the latter. I don't know if that means I was the one who killed him. But I couldn't really care less, because he deserved everything he got, and much more. He should have been chopped to death and fed to alligators.

After I make sure Eric is going tell everyone who Peter really was, I quickly head back to my room, wanting to be near Tris again. I don't know how she's going to react to everyone knowing what Peter did, so I decide to wait and tell her some other time. I know nobody is going to find out it was Tris who he was raping, but she still might get upset.

As I open the door, I see her holding the knife I had next to my bed. She wasn't planning on hurting herself, was she? She couldn't, she wouldn't. I know what happened to her could really change someone, but she is so much stronger than anyone I've ever met, that I know she's going to get through this. And if she'll let me, I'll be there for her to help her through this.

I quickly walk over to the bed, and sit down. I gently take the knife from her, trying to get the thoughts of her hurting herself out of my mind. I can't imagine Tris doing that.

She pulls me out of my thoughts and asks, "That's a cool knife, where did you get it?"

I spin the knife around in my hand, thinking back to the time when I first got this knife. It was the first knife I ever had. This knife had started my dream to become Dauntless.

"I got it when I was younger," I say, hoping she wouldn't ask more questions. I don't know if I want to tell her my past; let her in like that. I know she has let me in, by letting me help her after the attack; by letting me get close to her, letting me hold her.

"How old were you when you got it?" She asks, and I can tell she's not going to let this go.

"I was…" I trail off, thinking back to the time when I got the knife, and even about the times I used the knife. I used this knife with Bea, when we were just kids. It's the first knife I ever threw, the first knife she ever threw, and I keep it next to my bed to remind me where I came from, where I've been, and where I'm going. It reminds me of the time when I wasn't alone, when I had Bea there. I know we were just kids, but she was the only friend I ever had, and the only friend I ever trusted.

I stop looking at the knife and turn to Tris, staring into her eyes and imagining what it would be like if I was staring into Bea's eyes. I could tell her everything; why I changed and stopped hanging out with her, stopped talking to her. I could tell her how it almost killed me not having her as a friend. I could tell her I missed seeing her smile, and hearing her laugh. She was my best friend, and I know I'll never forget her. But I also know I'll never see her again.

Tris pulls me out of my thoughts when she looks away and whispers, "You can trust me, you know." And I feel like I can trust her; I feel like I can trust her like I trusted Bea all those years ago.

I gently reach my hand over to her chin and pull it towards me, making her look at me again.

"I do trust you, Tris," I say, and I mean it.

"I got it when I was twelve," I start. I get up from the bed and walk around the room, thinking back.

"I was a transfer like you, you know," I say, turning to look at her again. "We're not so different, you and I. I was one of the few who have ever transferred from Abnegation to Dauntless, and now so are you."

"You got a knife when you were twelve in Abnegation?" she asks, her voice mixed with curiosity and shock.

"I had more than one. This was just the first one I got," I say, as I think back to the day I first got this knife.

"I saw a bunch of Dauntless kids playing with it before school one day. I thought it was one of the coolest things I ever saw. So I knew I had to get it," I say, remembering the day.

"So what, you stole the knife from them?" she asks, a smile spreading upon her face.

I look away, knowing I can't keep the smile from forming on my face.

"No way! You did not steal a knife from a Dauntless kid when you were twelve!" She laughs. I like the sound of her laugh, I haven't heard it a lot but I know I want to hear more of it.

"I told you, this wasn't my only knife I had when I was a kid," I say smiling, shaking my head at the memories.

"You mean to tell me, you stole multiple knives from Dauntless kids? How?" she asked, shocked.

"Oh, let's just say I'm pretty good," I say, throwing a wink her way, and earning another laugh.

"So what did you do with all these knives you got? Did you keep the collection on your bedroom wall?" she jokes, knowing how little personal items we could have in Abnegation. I laugh, imagining all the knives I had stuck in a wall in my bedroom.

"Ha, how about we save that story for another time." I don't know what she would think of me after I tell her the things I did in Abnegation; how selfish I was to want to learn how to fight and throw knives.

"How about it's your turn to tell a story," I suggest. "We can make this into a game; every story I tell you about me, you have to tell me a story about you." I want to get to know more about her; how she became such a strong Dauntless girl coming from Abnegation, and this may be my chance to find out.

She looks around, as if thinking on if she wants to play, then looks at me with a smile and says, "Deal."

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**Again, extra-long chapters deserve extra reviews! Keep the reviews coming to earn more chapters! Thanks to all who have read, hope you enjoyed it!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Tris' POV**

"How about it's your turn to tell a story," Four suggests. "We can make this into a game; every story I tell you about me, you have to tell me a story about you."

I look around, thinking on if I want to play, weighing the pros and cons, then I look at him with a smile and say, "Deal."

He never gave any rules as to what stories I could tell, so I don't have to tell him the story where I used to sneak out with this boy and throw knives and fight. But I'm unsure as to what stories I have to tell. My life wasn't that interesting; go to school, go home, pretend to be completely selfless. We weren't supposed to have done things to create interesting stories.

I sit back on Four's bed, resting my back on the wall and thinking about a story I could tell him. I realize he only really knows me from a young age up until I was ten, so he missed six years of my life. So I should have at least a few stories to tell him; one's he wasn't involved in.

Four walks over and sits next to me, waiting for me to start a story. He still has a slight smile, and I can't help but smile back at him.

Just as I was about to tell him about the time I met a factionless person; I know, not very interesting, I thought about how he doesn't know the full story of what happened last night.

As much as I don't want to talk about it, I know he deserves to know the truth. And maybe if I talk about it, I'll be able to move from it easier.

He must have noticed the change in my expression, because he moved a little closer to me and rested his hand on mine, drawing little circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

I smile, thinking how his little touches calm me.

"I want to tell you what happened, if that's alright?" I ask, unsure if he wants to hear it.

I knew he knew what I meant when I asked that. He squeezes my hand a little, making me look over at him.

He stares into my eyes, and says, "Only if you want to, Tris. I'm here for you."

I take a deep breath, and tell him everything. I tell him how I was grabbed from behind, how I figured it was Al, Drew, and Peter attacking me, how the other two left me tide up with him after dangling me over the railing.

"So that was you," he says. "I saw someone up against the railing, and I took off running." Was he down by the chasm?

I continue on, telling him how _he_ dragged me down the hall, and I tried getting away, smacking my head on the wall. I told him how I wished I would just become unconscious, so I wouldn't have to live through that. And then I told him about the pain I felt; that unbearable pain, both physical and mental, that went on for what seemed like hours, even though it was only a few minutes at most. I told him how the darkness then swept over me, and I didn't remember much else, other than waking up in his arms.

"After I got up there, I couldn't find you. I didn't know what he did to you, so I searched. I saw blood on a wall, and I broke the door open, finding him on top of you." His hand clenches a little over mine, remembering the event.

I ask something that has come up in my mind, but I never wanted to think about it.

"Am I going to get pregnant?" I ask quietly, ashamed and fearing the worse.

He pauses for a moment, and then says, "I don't think so. He wasn't….finished when I pulled him off of you." I breathe a sigh of relief.

"I pulled him out of the closet and just beat him, thinking how someone could do something like that to someone. I almost lost it; I wanted him dead. But then I remembered you in there, and I had to get you help," he says, looking over to me, hurt in his eyes.

"I don't know if I killed him," he says quietly. I never thought of that; how he might have killed him, and I realize I am now looking at the Tobias I once saw a few times; a scared Tobias. The only other times I saw him like this was when he stopped seeing me, stopped talking to me. I don't know what could have scared him back then, but I can tell he's scared now because he would never want to kill someone, even someone who deserved it.

I make him look at me. "Thank you, for everything you did to save me. I don't care if you did or if you didn't kill him. You did what you had to do to save me, and it doesn't matter now." And it doesn't. It's all over, and all we have now is just us; Tris and Four.

He keeps staring into my eyes, and I can't help but feel like I want to kiss him. I've never kissed anyone before; never had the urge to. But if I or he moved our heads just a few inches closer, we would be kissing. But I can't, not yet. I want him to know who I am before that; who I used to be I should say.

"Ok, enough sad stuff, according to the rules of the game, it is now your turn," I joke, leaning back a little and earning a smile from him.

He thinks for a moment, and then says, "Ok, how about if I tell you a story on how I came to know I wanted to become Dauntless, then you have to too." He smiles, and I think for a second.

"Oh come on, Tris," he whines, reminding me back when you used to say that, in that twelve year old voice. I laugh, and think maybe I don't have to wait until after initiation. Maybe I could tell him here, tell him now. Or at least tell him when it's my turn next to tell a story.

"Ok fine," I say, and I can tell he's excited by my answer. He must really want to know how I became the person I am today. Little does he know he's the reason I am who I am.

He looks like a giddy little kid right now, and he moves himself on the bed, sitting towards the end of it, and crossing his legs. I follow suit, sitting towards the head of the bed, and cross my legs too, looking right at him.

"Ok, what I am about to tell you may shock you. I have never told this to anyone ever, so you should feel special," he says, winking at me. I laugh, thinking how adorable he looks right now, acting all childish and free.

"There was this girl," he starts.

"Ooo, Four and this girl, sitting in a tree," I sing, laughing at his reaction. He laughs too, and then continues.

"When I was twelve, I wanted to do things; Dauntless things. So I talked with this girl I knew; we knew each other and were kind of friends, but after this she became my best friend. Her name was Bea; Beatrice, I think was her full name. I never called her that though. She was two years younger than me. I convinced her to sneak out with me every night, and we would teach each other to be Dauntless; throw knives at targets, practice fighting, all sorts of stuff." It's weird hearing this story, knowing I was there and I can imagine and see everything that he's telling me.

"It's seems silly, a couple of Abnegation kids sneaking off to teach themselves how to be Dauntless. Doesn't sound very selfless to me. But don't think any less of Bea; I kind of tricked her into going by telling her we were being selfless by teaching the other person these things. Stupid, I know, but I just really wanted to do it." I look into his eyes, and I can tell he's almost reliving the memories.

"We did this for a couple weeks, and it was the best weeks of my life. I had never felt so free, so free to be who I really was. I knew I was never cut out to be Abnegation; I knew I was born for Dauntless. I sometimes miss the times I used to have with Bea. I miss her." I see hurt in his eyes, and all I want to do is make that go away. I want to ask why; when then did he leave me, stop seeing me. But I wait, hoping he'll just tell me that part of the story.

"So you two were never caught? You said only a few weeks, why did you stop?" I ask, pushing him in the direction I want him to go.

"No, we were never caught. I don't think either of our parents ever suspected a thing. But we only did it for a couple weeks because….because….something happened," he says, looking away now. Something happened? I thought he just grew tired of it, grew tired of me.

"What happened?" I ask, feeling the need to know the answer.

He looks up, and then smiles a little. "Hey, that counts as one story, the story of how I became to know I wanted to be Dauntless. It's your turn now," he says, and he's right, he did tell me his story. Now it's my turn to tell him mine.

"Ok, you're right," I say, pausing to think of how I'm supposed to tell him.

"First I have to tell you something. Then I may not even need to tell you the story." Here it goes, I'm going to finally tell him I'm Bea. I hope he doesn't treat me any different, that he'll see that I'm not just Bea, that I'm Tris, the Dauntless.

He stares into my eyes, something we keep doing a lot, but I don't mind.

I take a breath, and say, "I'm B…." but before I finish, we are interrupted by a pounding on the door.

* * *

**Can anyone say Cliffhanger? Hope you love it, please review! Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Tobias' POV**

I stare into her eyes, after telling her about Bea and me; the first and only person I've ever told that story to her. She doesn't look as shocked as I thought she would, after hearing about a couple of Abnegation kids sneaking out and being selfish.

She takes a breath, and starts to say, "I'm B…." but before she finishes, we are interrupted by a pounding on my door.

I get up to answer it, trying to figure out what she was going to say. I open the door and see Lauren.

"Hey Lauren," I say, walking out into the hallway with her, shutting the door so she doesn't see Tris. It's not that I don't want her to see me with her; I just don't want her to get the wrong idea. I mean, I do have a girl sitting on my bed, us two alone in my room right now.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Thought you'd like to know another one of your transfers took a dive a little while ago," she says.

I sigh, two in one day. I do not have a good track record going right now. Doesn't matter that I could have been the fault for the first one, but oh well.

"Who?" I ask, thinking about all the transfers I have.

"His name was Al; kind of a bigger guy. That means funeral in an hour," she informs me.

He was one of the one's who attacked Tris. He was the one Tris beat up earlier. Must have gone to jump right after.

"Thanks, Lauren. Hey can you do me a favor? Find my transfers and let them know about the funeral? I'm kind of busy right now…" I trail off, hoping she doesn't ask questions.

She gives me a questioning look, but agrees. I thank her and she walks away.

I open the door, giving a slight smile to Tris. I like walking into my room and seeing her there; it's like she belongs here, with me.

"What was that about?" she asks.

I hesitate, not wanting to upset her. She gives me a look, telling me to tell her the truth.

"Al jumped off the chasm a little while ago." I watch her reaction as I tell her, not knowing how she's going to react.

She stays calm, and I wonder what is going through her mind.

She sighs, and then says, "I really don't know how I'm supposed to feel after hearing that. I mean, I think I should feel a little bad, that he killed himself and I might be some reason for that, but I can't bring myself to do that. On the other hand, I could be happy that another one of the people who attacked me are gone, but I don't feel that either. What should I be feeling, Tob…I mean Four?" she asks, and I notice the only times she calls me Tobias are when she's busy thinking, or she feels vulnerable, like she doesn't realize she's doing it.

I walk over to the bed, and sit next to her. "I don't know how I would react either to that news if I was in your situation," I say honestly. "Maybe we should act as if it doesn't matter, so it shouldn't affect us." She looks at me, and then nods, probably thinking there's no other way we can act towards it.

"So what were you saying before we got interrupted?" I ask, feeling like I really want to know what she was going to say.

But she looking around the room, as if thinking about something else, and she may not have even heard me. She's quiet for a few minutes, and then looks over to me.

"I think I want to go to the funeral," she says, staring at me to see how I react.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because, even after all he did to me, he was my friend for a little while, and I just feel like I want to go. I don't have any respects to pay for him, but I just want to go," she says, unsure how else to put it.

I nod, understanding, and tell her we can leave soon for lunch, and then the funeral will be right after.

She looks over at me before we head out.

"Thank you, Tobias, for telling me your story. I promise I'll tell you mine soon," she says with a smile, and places a tiny kiss on my cheek, and I can't help but feel the electric shock on my cheek, even after her lips are gone.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

After lunch, we arrive in the Pit for Al's funeral. Tris is next to me, and on her other side is Christina and Will. Will came up to me and asked why Tris was here, and I just shrugged, not really knowing how to explain it.

The funeral was just like any other funeral, except the one that was earlier for Peter, because we don't praise rappers.

Tris kept a brave face the whole time. But I can't tell what she's thinking.

After the funeral, Christina and Will say they want to go get tattoos, and they ask if Tris and I want to come. Tris says yes, and then looks over to me.

"I think I'll pass this time, you guys go have fun," I say, not really wanting to leave Tris but I know it will look a little weird to others if I go.

Tris pulls me aside before they leave.

"Hey I know this might sound weird, but if you'd like, you can stay at my place tonight," I ask, hoping to be able to spend more time with her.

She thinks about it for a second, then a smile appears on her face and she says, "I'd love to."

I smile back at her, and then she turns around and runs off to Christina and Will.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

It felt like hours until I finally heard a knock on my door. I open it up, trying to contain the smile I have plastered on my face. I don't know why she excites me so much.

It's getting close to bed time by the time she got here, so I know we won't be able to talk for a while.

I open the door for her, letting her in. She smiles, and walks right in. I guess she remembers me telling her to make herself at home in here, and won't forget it either.

"Hi," she says cheerfully. I'm glad she had fun with her friends.

"How do you do, madam?" I ask, in a strange accent, earning a laugh from her.

"I got some tattoos, want to see them?" she asks, eagerly. I can tell she's excited about them; I remember I was too the first time I got a tattoo.

"Sure," I say, as she makes her way to my bed.

She moves her shirt a little, showing me the three flying birds on her collarbone.

"This one represents everyone in my family, each flying towards my heart. I know I'll never forget them, but I had this tattoo so I can always feel them close to me," she says.

"It's nice," I say, smiling as I stare at it. It does suit her.

"That's it," she says, jumping a little on the bed. She reminds me of Bea, all chipper and cheery at random times.

"Hey, I thought you said 'tattoos', as in multiple?" I ask.

She looks away, as if thinking again.

"Well….I'm not going to show you that one…yet." I wonder why not, but I let it go.

"So are we going to finish our game?" I ask, really wanting to know what she was going to say before.

She yawns, giving me the answer I already knew was coming. "I'm actually pretty tired," she says, and I realize I am too.

"Ok, well you can take the bed, and I'll sleep on the couch, it's just right over there," I point, showing her I won't be very far away. I don't want to be far away from her.

"I can't take your bed, it's yours," she says, and after a few more back and fourths between us, she relents and takes the bed.

After a couple of minutes, I hear her breathing become even, and I drift off to sleep.

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**I hope you enjoyed reading! Keep coming back for more, and please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Tris' POV**

He's here. He's here to hurt me again. He's getting closer to me. I try to scream, but nothing comes out of my mouth. Someone help me! Please!

"Tris! Wake up!" I hear, making me bolt up on the bed. It must have been a nightmare. Tobias is kneeling next to the bed, holding my hand and staring up at me.

I calm down after a little while, and see that the clock says it's three am.

"I'm sorry I woke you," I say, feeling bad that I've kicked him to his couch, and now I keep waking him up in the middle of the night.

"You can wake me whenever you need to," he says with a smile. I don't want to go back to sleep; _he _might be there again.

"Can…..can you lie with me until I fall asleep?" I ask, feeling the blush forming on my cheeks.

He smiles, and tells me to scoot over as I open the covers for him. He lies on one side of the bed, and I'm on the other. His bed isn't that big, but we're not touching. I realize in Abnegation, this sort of thing would never be aloud. But we're no longer in Abnegation, we're in Dauntless, and I'm starting to believe I am Dauntless again. I mean, I am in a bed with a guy right now, and all I want to do is roll over to lie in his arms.

I think for a moment, and then I do just that. I roll over, and Tobias puts his arm around me. I've never felt safer than in this position.

Within a few minutes, I drift off to sleep.

**Tobias's POV**

When she wanted me to lie next to her in my bed, I was happy. When she rolled over into my arms, I was ecstatic. I'm starting to really fall for this girl.

We're woken up by that blasted alarm again, and I feel Tris start to stir in my arms.

We each get ready for the day, and I guess I never realized she brought a change of clothing.

Right before we walk out the door to head to breakfast, she grabs my arm, stopping me from leaving.

"Can I ask you a favor, Four?" She asks.

"Of course," I reply, not having the slightest clue as to what she wants to ask.

"Can we….can we pretend the last few nights never happened?" She says, not looking at me. Does she not feel what I've been feeling having her around? I was just starting to love her company, her smile, her laugh, and I was starting to really like her. I've never really liked any girls, but I thought I could see the start of something with her.

"If that's what you want," I say, not containing the hurt in my voice very well.

She grabs my chin and pulls my head around to look at her, kind of like what I did a few times to her.

"It's not that I _want_ to pretend this never happened, but I feel like we should, just until initiation is over. I don't want people getting the wrong idea about us…" she trails off. Who cares what people think about us?

After thinking about it for a little bit, I realize she's right. I am still her instructor. As much as I don't want to, I tell her I agree.

"Once it's all over, I'm still welcomed here and can make myself at home?" she asks, throwing a smile at me. I laugh, telling her she's welcome in here whenever she wants, and then we head out.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

**Tris' POV**

I felt bad telling Four we should pretend the last few days never happened, but I had to do it. I don't want people thinking the wrong things about us.

After having breakfast with Will and Christina; Four sat at a different table with that Lauren girl and a few others, we headed to the training room. I don't know how fighting is going to go. I'm a little nervous, just realizing I'm still a little injured from….what _he_ did to me. I guess when I was pounding on Al yesterday, my anger made me forget about my injuries.

As we enter the room, I see a chalkboard with our names on it. Each name has a line pointing to another name, probably who you're going to be fighting today. My name has no line next to it. I wonder if Four did that on purpose. I'll have to ask him later….actual I can't; we're supposed to just be instructor and initiate, not friends, or whatever we are.

Since I wasn't fighting, I went through the day in kind of a daze. I barely focused on the fights, only becoming aware when they were over to find out the winner.

After training was over, I went shopping with Christina and got a pedicure. That was definitely weird. Never had those in Abnegation. But it was nice to just get out and be girly, and relax. But I couldn't help but think about Four.

"Soooo, where were you last night?" Christina ask, a smirk on her face, as if she knows the answer.

I blush, and she laughs. "I knew it! You were at his place, weren't you?" she asks, rather loudly.

"Shhhh, quiet down. Ok fine, yes I was. But we're just friends," I say, although I'm not sure if I want to just be friends with him. Maybe I want something more. But I can't think about that now, I have initiation to pass.

She giggles, finding something funny in what I just said, but drops the subject. The rest of the night we just talked in the dorm; talked about our pasts and our families.

We head to bed, and I notice how weird it feels to be back in this bed; how weird it is not to be next to Tobias. It's only the second time I've slept in this bed, but so much has happened since then. Barely any of initiation has gone by though. I need to focus now on it, I need to become a Dauntless member. Then I can go back to being Tobias's friend, something I've missed being for years now.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

Molly. That's the name next to the line connecting to my name. I have to fight Molly today. I feel the Tris who was here a few days ago starting to come back alive; the one who finally hit the center of the target with the bullet.

I walk up to the mat we fight on, and I try not to look over at Four, even though I know I want to.

I have to beat her; I have to show everyone who I am; I am Tris the Dauntless!

The fight starts, and Molly makes the first move by lunging at my midsection, knocking me down. I don't know how she got the upper hand, but it won't be long until I take it from her. She tries punching me, but I block, already thinking of my next few moves. I punch her in the ear, throwing her off balance, and I get free. I stand up quickly, and Molly gets to her feet too. This time she's not so lucky when she lunges at me. I dodge her, and punch her as hard as I can in the head. She goes down, dazed, but still tries to get up. I quickly jump on her, throwing punches left and right, feeling the blood drip down my knuckles. I keep hitting her, more strength going in each punch. She becomes unconscious, but I can't seem to stop.

I notice she's down for the count, but my arms keep going. What's wrong with me? I'm beating and unconscious body and I can't stop. I feel a pair of strong arms grab me, pulling me off her and holding me up. I can't think straight, and it takes me a few moments to realize what just happened. Am I such a monster that I would have continued to beat her until she was dead? My body wouldn't let me stop…

I notice it was Four who pulled me off her, probably because that's what instructors do; keep their initiates from killing each other. I miss those soothing words he said to me last time he calmed me down, but I know he couldn't do that here, not when he's pretending there's nothing between us. Well I hope he's just pretending. He shoves me a little to the side, towards where the other initiates are, and goes to check on Molly. He didn't have to do that so rudely.

The rest of the day went by, but I couldn't stop thinking about that fight. Being Dauntless doesn't mean you can beat someone senseless. I don't know what came over me.

I lie in my bed, thinking about how tomorrow we have a break from fights, to let people recuperate, and how we'll be learning to throw knives instead. I smile, getting ready to shock everyone with my amazing knife throwing skills. I wish I could tell Four that even when he stopped meeting me for our knife throwing sessions, a few times a year I would sneak out and practice, just so I wouldn't lose the skill. Luckily he had left a knife or two at our secret spot, or else I don't know if I would be so confident about tomorrow.

I quickly fall asleep, dreaming about being a kid again and throwing knives with Tobias.

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**Please please please review! I love reading them! More to come, stay posted! Thanks for reading!**

**Oh, and I'm pretty sure you're all going to like the next chapter ;)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Tobias's POV**

Man it sucks trying to pretend there's nothing going on between you and someone else. I know it's only been a couple days since I first met her, but I feel like I've known her for so much longer than that.

She shocked me when she annihilated Molly in the fight. I knew she was going to win, because I saw how hard she can throw a punch when she went at Al, but it kind of looked like she just lost control. I know that feeling. When I was an initiate a few times I lost all control fighting someone; imagining I was fighting someone else. Imagining I was fighting my father.

I had to grab Tris off of Molly, or else she might have kept hitting her until she was dead. I was kind of afraid she might get scared when I grabbed her from behind, but thankfully she didn't. I sort of threw her to the side and went to check on Molly; I feel bad for that but that's what I do with all the other initiates, so I can't play favorites right now.

Today we're throwing knives, one of my favorite things to do. It always reminds me of back in the day when I threw with Bea.

Everyone's standing around me, waiting for me to teach them the technique of throwing knives. It's not that difficult, once you get the hang of it.

"Ok, now pay attention, I'm only showing you this once," I say in my instructor Four voice. I use that voice a lot, but I didn't when it was just Tris and I, and I kind of missed being my old self.

I throw a few knives, all hitting right where I want them to. I have everyone get into position, and tell them to start throwing. I walk around, seeing some completely miss the targets, and others getting somewhat near the targets.

I try not to look for Tris, knowing that when I look at her it's hard to look away, but I end up fixing my gaze at her.

I realize she hasn't thrown a single knife, while others are on their fourth or fifth by now.

Right when I'm about to walk over to her to ask what she's doing, she picks up the knife, and in one fluid motion, chucks it at the target.

Bullseye.

How in the world did she do that?

She turns around, getting ready to pick up another knife, and I can see the smirk on her face.

"Tris! What the heck was that?!" Christina screams, making half the room look over to her. People stop throwing, and that only makes the rest of the room look over.

Tris just grabs another knife, repeats her same motion, and the knife ends up only a millimeter from the other one. This girl is really turning out to be something else.

Suddenly, Eric walks into the room; into the room where none of my initiates seem to be throwing knives, because they were all staring at Tris.

"What's going on in here?" he asks loudly, making some people jump.

"Just throwing knives, which you probably already knew that," I say, earning a glare from him.

"Then how come nobody's throwing them?" he asks, getting a little angry.

The initiates quickly grab their knives and start throwing again. I see after a couple minutes, almost everyone has hit the target. It didn't go unnoticed by me that Tris seemed to get worse, hitting different parts of the target, but I can't tell if she's trying to do that or if Eric made her nervous.

I notice the only one who hasn't hit the target yet is Tris's friend, Christina. I glance over and see Eric looking at her, probably thinking the same thing. Uh oh, this can't be good.

He starts to walk up to her. "You going to hit the target any time today?" he asks, only making her more nervous. She tries to throw another knife, but it hits the ground a few feet before the target.

"That was pathetic!" he shouts, and then demands she go get that knife she just threw.

"But people are still throwing their knives," she says, and Eric laughs.

"Oh, so you don't trust that the other initiates will hit their targets? Something you can't seem to do?" I can tell where this is going, and I don't like it.

"Let's play a little game, shall we?" Eric always had a sadistic side. He makes everyone else stop throwing, and tells Christina to stand in front of the target. He grabs a couple of knives and walks over to me.

"Now, Four here is going to be throwing these knives at you. If you so much as flinch, there will be consequences." I knew this was going to involve me.

I take the knives from him, twirling one in my hand. I know Christina is tough, but I'm not sure she's going to handle not flinching.

Right when I get ready to throw the knife, I hear someone say, "Stop!"

I pause, knowing who that voice belongs to. I don't want Eric to turn on her. I glare at her as if that will make her think twice, but I know it won't. I'm not stupid.

"Any idiot can stand in front of a target," Tris says. "It doesn't prove anything, except that you're bullying her. Which, as I recall, is a sign of cowardice." She has a point, but I can already tell what Eric is going to say next.

"Then it should be easy for you," he says. "If you're willing to take her place."

His eyes then shift to mine, like he knows I have a thing for her. So he's going to make me throw knives at her. I think for a moment about throwing a knife at him, just for fun, but then decide against it.

She walks up to the board, and I see Christina give her a grateful smile. Tris stands with her back to the board, and the top of her head skims the bottom of the target center. She tips her chin up and looks at me with that Abnegation stubbornness I know so well. Maybe she did become this strong just by being Abnegation before here.

I throw the knife, keeping my eyes on hers. It sticks in the board near her cheek, and my hands shake with relief. Her eyes close, and I know I need to remind her again of her selflessness.

"You done, Stiff?" I say, hoping she'll understand what I'm trying to tell her.

She looks angry. "No." Of course she isn't.

"Then eyes open," I say, tapping the skin between my eyebrows. I don't need her eyes to be on mine, but I feel better when they are. I position the knife in my right hand as Eric inches closer. I have to make this believable, or Eric is going to make me do worse.

I aim at the top of her ear, knowing that part heals fast, and throw the knife. It hits right where I wanted it to, and I see blood dripping down from it. Her eyes portray shock and hurt, and I can tell the hurt is not from the wound I made. I wish I could run up to her, and tell her how I had to do that; how Eric would make me do so much worse if I hadn't, but I can't.

"Well this is getting boring," Eric says, heading towards the door. "Lunch time!" He shouts as he walks out, making everyone follow. Everyone except Tris and I. I can still see that expression on her face; I wish I could hear what she was thinking. I would guess it's something along the line of 'that bastard!' according to how she's looking at me now.

I open my mouth to try and explain as she walks up to me, but before a word gets out I see her hand come up, her fist headed straight for my head.

I quickly grab it, holding tight to her wrist. The other hand comes up, and I do the same with that hand. Now I have both wrists in my hands, and I spin us around and push her up against the wall.

"You hit me!" she says angrily as she tries to squirm out of my grasp. I guess I would be a little angry if I was in her position.

I press myself against her, feeling the heat of her body on mine, to make it harder for her to get out of my grip. Her heat reminds me of when I held her a few nights ago; of how I loved it.

"Tris," I say quietly, hoping she'll calm down.

She doesn't, of course, and keeps fighting against me.

I don't think, just act. I press my lips on hers, something I've been wanting to do for a while now.

I feel her tense beneath my lips, and I realize what a mistake I made, but after a second she kisses me back. Her body relaxes, stops trying to fight against me.

The feeling of her lips on mine is something I've never felt before; not just because I've never kissed anyone but because the electric current passing between us is amazing.

My lips are on fire, and they beg for more of her, but I reluctantly pull away.

I open my eyes, after being lost in time while kissing her, and stare at her. Her eyes are closed, mouth slightly parted, and her breathing is a little staggered. I didn't realize that my breathing was too.

She opens her eyes, and looks directly into mine. I feel like she can see into my soul; see who I've been, who I am, and who I will become.

I release her hands, and reluctantly back away from her. She just stands there, right where I had her pinned. Oh how I wish I could do it again.

I open my mouth, to apologize; for cutting her and for kissing her. I don't know if she wanted it, if she even liked it, but I have to say something to her.

"Tris, I…" I start, but she interrupts me by placing a finger on my lips and shushes me. Did she really just shush me?

I resist the urge to kiss her finger, and try to speak again, only to get another shush. Quit shushing me, I want to say now. But she must be deep in thought, and I would give anything to know what those thoughts are right now.

She pulls her finger away, after giving me a look that says 'don't talk'.

She takes a deep breath, and I prepare for the worse. She didn't like it, she didn't want it, she hates me now and I'll never get that amazing feeling back again.

"Tobias," she starts. "As much as I loved that; and when I say loved, I mean really loved that, we promised we would act like nothing's between us," she says, looking away. I can't help the smile that forms on my face; she loved it as much as I did.

"First off, and don't shush me, but I am sorry for cutting your ear. Eric would have made me do much worse if I hadn't. Second," I sound like I'm reading off a grocery list. "I'm sorry for kissing you. I don't know what came over me," yes I do, "but I had to get you to calm down before you beat the crap out of me," I say with a smile, earning a smile from her.

"I promise I won't do it again…" I pause, hoping she'll protest.

She blushes and looks away, and I smile knowing what she's going to say. "Well I don't want you to promise that, because once this is all over….well I would love for you to do that again," she says, and that smile on her face only makes my smile bigger.

I can't believe it; I kissed Tris, and she liked it as much as I did. I couldn't be happier right now.

We agree to _try_ not to do that again, and we head off to lunch, walking in separately and sitting at our separate tables. I try to fight the smile from being plastered on my face, and try my hardest to not look over at Tris. I can't wait to kiss her again.

* * *

**Aww, who else loves it when they kiss? Hope you loved this chapter as much as I did! Keep coming back for more, and please review!**

**And just to warn everyone, I will be going out of town soon, and I am unsure when I will be able to post more chapters. Please bear with me though, I will get them up as soon as I can. Thanks again for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Tris' POV**

I am in la-la land right now. I feel like such a girly girl, who can't stop smiling because a cute boy kissed me. And not just any cute boy; _the_ cute boy. _The_ cute boy who I once knew, _the_ cute boy who saved my life, and _the_ cute boy who is also my instructor.

Ok let's rewind as I try to get my thoughts straight. I was throwing knives when Eric was there, purposefully not being as good as I could be so I wouldn't draw too much attention to myself; Eric kind of scares me.

Unfortunately for Christina though, she couldn't hit the target, and Eric had found his prey.

I couldn't just sit there, watching my friend get knives thrown at her. I had to do something.

And so I did; I took her place. I know she's strong, but I can't imagine she wouldn't flinch if a knife was thrown at her. Me on the other hand; well lately I feel like anything's possible.

I knew Four wouldn't hit me, so that calmed my nerves a lot. I mean, I practically taught him everything he knows when it comes to knife throwing. Well that's what he told me when we were kids; 'we're teaching each other'. How did I ever believe that?

So anyway, I trusted him not to hit me, so I had no reason to flinch. But when he did….well that pissed me off. Like I said, I _trusted _him not to hit me. How could he do such a thing?!

After everyone left the room, I charged at him. He tried to say something, but I was too pissed and I wanted to hit him for doing that. I thought he cared about me, but apparently not.

He caught my arm as I tried to punch him, and held tight on my wrist. He did the same thing to the other hand, and then spun us around and pushed me up against the wall. I tried to get out of his grasp; because I was still pissed he cut me. He then pushes his body against me, and the next thing I knew his lips were on mine.

To say I was shocked at first would have been an understatement. He completely caught me off guard, but when I realized what he was doing, I didn't want him to stop. The feeling of his lips on mine was a whole new feeling, sending shivers up and down my spine, and making my whole body come alive. I loved every second of it, how his lips sent an electric shock through mine.

But all too soon, his lips were gone. I missed them instantly. I just stood there, hanging onto the feeling.

I opened my eyes, and stared into his. I saw both Tobias and Four in them, and how they are becoming the same person to me now.

He released my hands and backed away, and I missed the warmth of his body.

He had started to say something, but I just placed my finger on his lips; those amazing lips, and shushed him. I had to think. I had to think about what just happened. I mean, I just kissed my best friend from when I was ten. I never imagined doing that.

Again he tried to say something, only to receive another shush. Seriously, give a girl some time to think. How could I let this happen? I'm pretty sure I'm falling for him; falling hard.

I gave him a look, warning him not to speak, and then took my hand away from his mouth.

I then took a deep breath, not knowing how I should word this. As much as I want to continue doing that, it would look bad to someone else. I don't want to be known as the girl who slept her way to the top. I told him how much I loved the kiss, but we should pretend it never happened for now. He then went on to tell me something about cutting my ear, I think there was an apology in there, and then apologized for kissing me.

When he said he promised he wouldn't do it again, I wanted to cry.

But I told him how much I would love for him to do that again someday, when this was all over, and a huge smile appeared on my face.

And that smile has yet to leave my face, as I am sitting here by Christina and Will eating lunch.

"What's with the smile, Tris?" Will asks. I guess it's kind of weird, one second I was pissed in the training room because Four cut me with the throwing knife, and the next second they see me I can't stop smiling.

"Oh nothing," I say, hoping they'd drop it. And of course they don't.

"Tell us, tell us, tell us!" Christina chants, getting a few looks from others.

"Ok shush! I'll tell you. But only if you promise not to say anything, to anyone…" I say. These two are my two really great friends here, I owe them to tell them.

"Well….Four and I….we sort of….kissed," I say, that last word coming out really quietly from my mouth. And cue the smile, remembering the feeling of his lips on mine.

"EEEEK!" Christina squeals, or maybe that was Will? Either way, it was loud.

"Shhh!" I tell her, knowing Will couldn't squeak that high.

"I'm really happy for you Tris," Will says, and reaches out to hold Christina's hand. They must be a thing now.

"Thanks, but it's not really like that. It was sort of an accident," I say. How is a kiss ever an accident?

Christina repeats my thoughts, saying, "How is a kiss ever an accident?" I laugh a little.

"Well it kind of just…happened. I don't really know, but we agreed not to do it again, at least until initiations over. I don't want people to get the wrong idea between us," I say, hoping they'll drop it now. And thankfully they do. The rest of the day went by fast, with me still having a goofy grin stuck on my face. Why can't I stop thinking about that kiss? Maybe I'm turning into a girly girl. That would suck. But maybe being a girly girl wouldn't suck so badly if I could kiss Tobias more.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

**Tobias' POV**

"Up and at 'em, initiates!" Eric screams. I stand by the door as Eric flickers the light on and off. It's two am, and I'm going to punch him if he doesn't stop soon.

I had the greatest dream last night, where I was kissing Tris by the chasm, when my stupid alarm clock woke me up, bringing me back to reality and outside soon for the paintball game.

"If you're not by the tracks in ten minutes, consider yourself factionless!" I yell. I am not a morning person; nobody should be at two am.

We make our way outside, and wait for the train. I notice Tris out of the corner of my eye. She looks stunning. Quit it! Instructor mode, not lovey mode. But it's dark out, maybe I'll be able to sneak a kiss. Wow this girl is changing me. What happened to the guy who showed no emotion? Did he really fade away that fast? I've been hard and rarely showed emotion ever since I was twelve, and this girl I've known for so little is already changing me.

The train comes, and I swiftly make it on. I notice a few people have trouble get up, but not Tris. Always so graceful. I really need to stop that. I'm turning into a girl!

We pick teams on the train, and Tris, Will, and Christina all make it on my team, along with another transfer and four dauntless-borns.

We jump off, both teams heading in their separate directions, and we start making plans on how to win.

Everyone is talking at the same time, meaning we aren't getting anywhere. I look around, and notice Tris isn't here anymore. How did I lose her already?

I turn around, and notice she's walking over to the ferris wheel. Smart one; that's how we won when I was an initiate.

"So what's your plan?" I ask, catching up to her.

"I don't know," she says, but the smirk on her face gives her away.

I playfully shove her, knowing we're not in sight of the rest of the team, and get a laugh out of her. I love that sound.

"Ok fine, I'm going up there to get a better view," she says, pointing to the top of the ferris wheel.

Heights. I hate them, always have, always will. I realize she doesn't know that yet, but I can't let her go up there alone, she could get hurt.

"Ok, I'll come with you," I say, trying to mask the fear in my voice.

She looks over at me and gives me a smile. Then she starts to climb. Here goes nothing.

I follow behind her, my knuckles white from holding the bars so tightly. Why did I decide to do this?

"You okay back there?" she laughs. How can she find anything funny at a time like this?

"Of course," I say, but she must have heard the fear in my voice that time.

We climb some more, each step freaking me out more than the last. Don't look down. But don't look up either, then I'd be staring right at Tris' butt. Maybe I should….never mind. Now's not the time.

We climb a little higher, and she gets into the top cart. I follow, a little slower, and sit down, closing my eyes and trying to make the fear go away.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asks, touching my arm. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hide the fear from her, especially up here.

**Tris' POV**

Four seems really pale right now. He must be afraid of heights. I ask him if he's okay, lightly touching his arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he manages to get out, but I can tell he's pretty freaked out.

The only time I've ever seen him freaked out was when we got stuck near our secret hangout when we were kids. We were playing by a pile of wood, and it toppled over on us, not enough to hurt us but enough where we were stuck. I had to find a way out for us, because he was so scared of the tiny space he wasn't thinking straight. He used to hate tiny places, probably still does.

I sit across from him, and grab his hand. He seems to calm down a little from that.

"Hey look at me," I say, hoping he will. I love seeing those eyes.

He slowly looks up, and I can see how hard this is for him.

"We're going to be fine, okay?" I say, hoping to calm him down. It seems to work a little bit, and so I slowly stand up, looking out to find the other team. I easily find them, and so I sit down and look at Four again.

"We can get down now," I say, and I know it's going to be hard for him.

He nods, and slowly gets up. He insists on going first, saying some nonsense about if I fall he could save me. I laugh, and he seems to ease a little when I do that.

We make it about half way down, when I my foot slips, knocking the bar out from under me.

"Four! Help!" I scream, not knowing what else to do. I'm dangling on the bar, holding on for dear life.

"Tris, you have to let go!" he yells back to me. What? Is he crazy?

"Are you insane?" I yell back, questioning his sanity.

"You'll be fine, trust me!" he says, and I want to yell at him saying this isn't about trust, it's about stupidity.

"Now Tris!" he says, and after taking one last breath, I let go.

I fall, feeling that familiar feeling I had on the first day I got here, jumping off the roof.

I fall a few feet, and am stopped by a strong arm grabbing me, saving me.

Four had reached out, holding onto the ferris wheel with one arm, and grabbed me around my waist to stop me from falling. He is strong!

He holds me there for a second, and then brings my body close to the ferris wheel. What was I saying earlier about some nonsense about me falling and him being able to catch me?

He keeps his arm around me, making sure I'm completely on the bars before releasing me. I stare at him, calming down from that near death experience.

"Thank you," I say, not knowing how many more times he's going to have to save me.

He smiles, realizing I'm okay, and starts to make the rest of the way off the ferris wheel.

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**Hope you enjoyed it, I'll try and keep posting more soon! Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Tobias' POV**

I'm starting to think this girl has the worst luck ever.

I knew climbing that stupid old ferris wheel was a bad idea. Well mostly because it's so high, but it also just looks unsafe. I had a bad feeling ever since we started climbing it.

I'm surprised as to how much Tris calmed me down when we were up there. I'm terrified of heights, and I don't think I'll ever get over it, but she calmed me down enough where I could think straight again. Just the little things she does, her smile, her laugh; they all distracted me from the heights, because they captivate me.

I'm glad she finally let up and let me go down the ferris wheel first. I couldn't imagine what I would have been able to do if I was above her. We were still pretty high when the bar under her feet gave way.

I had thought of climbing down and trying to turn on the ferris wheel, but it's been so long since this thing was operational, who knows if that would have worked. So I did the only thing I could think of; I told her to let go. I knew I could catch her, but that meant I had to let go of the ferris wheel with one hand, and that made me nervous. But I had to, to save her. When I caught her, I never wanted to let go. I know she's safe in my arms, because I would never hurt her, but I knew we had to keep going, and so I reluctantly let her go on the ferris wheel and headed down.

Even when my feet hit the ground, I still wasn't completely calm. Only when Tris was safely on the ground was when I felt better. That near death experience she had made me want to just forget about pretending nothing is between us; who cares if people think she's doing well in initiation because we like each other. All I want to do right now that I know she's safe is kiss her, hold her, and make sure she knows how much she means to me.

But of course, I can't do that. She's already walking back to the rest of our team as I am having this internal debate about kissing her. Darn it; I guess I better catch up to her.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask, making sure she isn't hurt at all or freaked out from the fall.

"Of course," she says with a smile. "I had my knight in shining armor there to save the day again," she jokes, throwing a wink my way. I wish she would do that more often.

She stops a little ways before we get back to the team, turning towards me.

"Thank you, I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't saved me," she says, staring into my eyes, showing me the sincerity behind hers.

"You're welcome, Tris. I'll always be there for you when I can," I say, and I mean it. I always want to be there for her.

"I really want to kiss you right now." Wait, did I just say that or did she? Oh, she's blushing and a silly smirk on her face, so I'm pretty sure it was her. I now have this huge grin on my face. She must be thinking exactly what I am right now.

"Then why don't you?" I ask, stepping towards her, narrowing the gap between us.

"Because….because we're….just friends right now," she says, but her eyes are telling me differently. She wants this just as much as I do.

I move closer again towards her. I reach my hand up, brushing the hair from her face to behind her ear. I then place my hand behind her neck, gently pulling her face towards mine.

I'm going to kiss her again. I've wanted to ever since our first kiss. That feeling of her lips on mine is the only thing I can think about lately.

Our lips are a few inches away from each other's now, and I stare into her eyes.

I see the want that I know is shown in my eyes, but I also see something else. I don't know what it is, or why it scares me a little, but I continue on towards kissing her. I now feel her breath on my skin, our lips now centimeters away.

Just as my lips gently touch hers, they're gone. She backed away, getting out of my grasp and is now a few feet away from me. Is it still considered a kiss if it's for a millisecond?

I must have had the hurt and confusion written all over my face, because she moves closer to me and grabs my hand.

"No no no! Please don't take that the wrong way," she starts. How else am I supposed to take her not wanting to kiss me? "I really want to kiss you, but I need to tell you something first. I just, I just don't know how you're going to act after I tell you. You may not want to kiss me after…." She trails off. After she tells me what?

She's scared that after she tells me whatever that I won't still want to kiss her? What kind of nonsense is that?

"Tris, no matter what you tell me, that won't change my feelings towards you," I say, trying to get her realize how much I care about her.

She looks away from me, and says, "You can't promise that." I can't imagine what she has to tell me that would make me think anything different of her.

**Tris' POV**

He'll hate me, because I lied to him; I lied to him about who I really am. He probably wouldn't have liked me if I was still Bea to him, not the strong person Tris is. He would never have kissed Bea, his childhood friend. And who knows, he could still hate me, as in Bea, like he did when he stopped talking to me. I never did find out why he hated me and never wanted to see me again.

But I have to. I have to tell him who I really am before this, whatever this is between us, gets more complicated. He deserves to know, he has saved my life multiple times now. Here goes nothing.

"Tobias," I start, speaking real quietly because I'm afraid; afraid that everything that's happened between us recently is going to be gone once I tell him.

"I'm…." I trail off, waiting.

He just stares at me, and then says, "You're what?" He's smiling that smile I love.

"I'm….darn it, where is it?" It should have been here by now.

"Where's what?" He asked, really confused.

"The interruption! There's always an interruption when I try to tell you this!" I say laughing. I was thinking, that maybe if there was an interruption this time then it would be a sign that I shouldn't tell him just yet. But it doesn't look like there will be one; I guess now really is the time to tell him.

"Ok, I'll tell you. But please don't get mad at me. I'm…."

"TRIS! FOUR!" Christina yells. See? I knew it! Guess now's not the time.

I give Four a playful shove, and run over to Christina and Will, who are walking towards us.

"Where did you go?" Will asks, and I end up telling them all about the incident on the ferris wheel, and how we know where the other teams' flag is. We gather back with the rest of the team, and devise a plan of attack.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

It's now morning, and we're back in the training room for our last day of fighting. We ended up annihilating the other team in paintball; they didn't know what hit them when we attacked.

I know I have to tell Four soon about who I am. It's starting to hurt me inside because I'm lying to him. I don't want to lie to him anymore. For everything he's done for me, he deserves to know the truth.

I had to fight Edward today. He hadn't lost a single fight, and everyone he's fought has had to be carried to the infirmary. But that fact doesn't scare me; it excited me. I finally had a worthy opponent.

The fight started off with him getting the upper hand. His strength is what carried him. We both got some pretty good hits in, and a few of his I knew were going to leave bruises. One punch of his knocked me to the ground, but I jumped to my feet before he could get on top of me. I'm not ever letting a guy get on top of me again, unless I want them to of course.

I was studying his every move, trying to find his weakness. Everyone has a weakness. And I knew his had to do something with his size and strength. He relied only on those two factors, so I knew speed was on my side, and also strategy. I started blocking his every move, and I could see the openings were after his thrown punches.

So I took my chance. After a hard punch to my left, I dodged and put all my energy into the punch. I hit him right in the gut, and he toppled over, clenching his stomach. I then brought my leg up, meeting his head, and knocking him to the ground. I was dead tired, but I had to finish. The fight seemed to have gone on for hours. I jumped on him, throwing all the energy I had left into my punches. He was blocking some of them, but most of them hit right where I wanted them to. After what seemed like another hour, he finally stopped moving from under me. I rolled off him, trying to catch my breath. I couldn't believe I beat Edward.

"Nice job, Tris," Eric says. When did he get here? Four walks up to Edward, and helps him get up and out of the ring. I slowly get up, still trying to catch my breath.

"Who knew the Stiff had it in her to beat the biggest guy here?" Eric says. I hate it when people call me Stiff.

"She doesn't seem to be that stiff, Eric," Four says, throwing Edward aside by the rest of the initiates. I notice Eric look at Four with a smirk, and I just want to punch that smirk off his face. Eric has not been one of my favorites here.

"Okay, looks like you're all done for the day. Rankings will be posted later today," Four says, dismissing all of us.

I spend the rest of the day with Christina, shopping. I wanted to get some outfits that don't make me look like a twelve year old. I want something that shows off the little curves I have, knowing I don't have to hide anything anymore.

We check the rankings, and I smile, noticing I'm number one. That might not be all good; that means other people will be shooting to beat me. Only a few people were sent home, because of deaths earlier. Luckily Christina and Will are staying.

The next stage of initiation is the emotional one. We have to face our fears, and calm ourselves down enough to until we can get out of the simulation. I don't know how I'm going to do on this stage. Last stage I had been prepared for; I had been preparing for that for a while. But this stage is impossible to prepare for. I hope I'll be able to stand up to my fears. I guess we'll see soon enough.

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**Thank you all again for reading! I don't know if I'm going to be able to post another chapter soon, but I will when I can! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Here's what what you all have been waiting for...another chapter! **

**Tris' POV**

We're all sitting in a hallway, waiting for our turn for stage two. I'm going to be the last one in to go, because we're doing last to first from stage one rankings.

I'm a little nervous, but so is everyone around me. I wish there was some way I could have prepared for this; I don't like not being prepared.

Most of the people have gone by now, and only a few of us are left. Four is the one in the room conducting the simulations. I keep catching myself staring at him when he pops his head out the door, calling the next initiate into the room. I need to quit doing that.

The last person in front of me gets up and goes into the room. Okay, calm down. This can't really hurt me, it's all going to be in my head, and I can do this. I've experienced much worse than this, so there's no reason to be afraid.

Minutes pass by, which feel like hours, and I finally see the door open. Four steps out, offering his hand to me to help me off the ground, and we walk into the room. I think just the touch of his hand calmed me down; I can do this.

"This simulation teaches the initiates to face their fears and learn to control their emotions," instructor Four says. I wish he would talk to me like I wasn't just another initiate, but this isn't the time to worry about that.

"The way you are to get out of the simulation is by either eliminating the threat or by calming yourself down," he says, getting ready to inject me with the simulation serum.

I nod, understanding how this works. Four looks into my eyes as he places the needle next to my neck. I stare back into his, wishing he could just read from them who I really am, so I can stop worrying about it. I just wish I knew that it wouldn't change how he feels about me when he finds out.

Still staring into his eyes, I feel a pain in my neck, where Four presses the needle into me. I try to keep a brave face, not showing any pain. I'm not weak.

Right before I enter the simulation, I hear Four whisper, "Be brave, Tris."

Crows. Crows everywhere. Attacking me, biting me, clawing at me. I can't think straight, I can't do anything! I can't even breathe! I'm going to die!

"Be brave, Tris," a voice calls. Who's voice was that? How can I hear it over the noise of the crows? Over the sound of my flesh being torn off my body, over the screams that are trying to escape my mouth?

Brave. That's it. That word alone is who I want to be. And these crows are hindering my ability to be brave. I have to beat this. I can do it.

But how? How am I supposed to survive this? Think!

Think…..think about something else. Don't think about being clawed and pecked by thousands of crows, but something else. What can I think about that would calm me down?

"Be brave, Bea," I hear another voice call, but it sounds like a kid. Bea, the only one who called me that was Tobias. Maybe think about him.

It's hard to think at all when you're being covered by crows, but I have to do it to calm down. I wish Tobias was here, he would know how to help me.

"Calm down, Bea," I hear the kid say again. It is Tobias, I can almost picture the twelve year old boy in my mind. He is here, helping me. I knew he would never leave me.

And then their gone. All the crows just disappear, and I'm just lying on the ground of an empty, cold room. My knees are tucked into my chest, and I'm on my side, staring. How can something so fake feel so real?

I'm completely shaken from it. I can't stop feeling the claws and beaks on my body. How am I ever going to become completely brave if I can't handle fear simulations?

Four walks in, and kneels down next to me.

"Tris, it's okay. It's over now," he whispers, trying not to scare me further. I hate this! I hate being afraid! I hate being weak, and it seems that everything I do only proves how weak I really am!

Four tries to help me up, but I yank my arm away.

"Just leave me alone, okay?!" I yell at him, wishing he wouldn't see me so weak all the time. I don't want him to see me like this, like the scare little girl I used to be.

I run out of the room, not even glancing back at those eyes I love, at those eyes that probably show hurt from my outbreak at him, but I can't have him see me like this anymore.

I can't live my life with everyone helping me. I have to be my own person, the strong, brave person I _know_ I can be!

I run and run, not really thinking about where I'm going. I end up stopping at the place where I was attacked.

I faced one fear today, and lost. But I can face this one, head on, and beat it. I am no longer going to be afraid!

I walk around, thinking back on that day. The only way I'm going to completely get over it, of what happened to me, is if I let it all go. Why not throw it all over into the chasm?

So that's what I did. I threw everything I was holding onto, those fears that appeared that night, over into the chasm. I won't let them define me anymore; I won't let fear define me anymore.

I don't know how long I stood up there, standing next to the railing looking over the edge. But I let everything from that night go. Except one thing. Except Four. I couldn't let the things he did for me that night go. They mean too much to me; he means too much to me.

I feel bad about yelling at him, when he was only trying to help. I'll have to talk to him later, and apologize.

I head back to the dorms, knowing it's getting close to dinner. I must have been up there for quite a while.

Christina is there. "How was your simulation?" she asks. She looks a little shaken up, probably from her fear, but she is in a nice outfit and is putting on makeup.

"It sucked," I say honestly.

"Well then get your butt over here so I can make you feel better too!" she says excitedly. Oh great, makeover time. But I go along with it; maybe it will make me feel better.

She puts me into a tight outfit, something I would never really wear because I couldn't fight much in this outfit. She does my makeup, and when I finally look at myself, I love what I see.

"Oh my gosh, Christina! I actually love it!" I say. How is she turning me into a girly girl?

"I knew you would," she says, as Will walks in the room and gives her a kiss on her cheek. I knew they would be a cute couple.

"So is there a reason why we're getting dressed up?" I ask.

"Not really, just wanted to forget about earlier," she says, and I agree with her. Surprisingly dressing up made me feel a little better.

"Ok, let's go walk around," Will suggests, and we head out.

We end up walking to the Pit, and we see Four with a few people around his age near the chasm, drinking. I didn't know he drank. I mean, I have nothing against it, but it just doesn't seem like something he would do.

Four sees us, and then comes over to us.

"Hey, sweet thang," he says, and he puts his arm around me. Ok he is definitely drunk.

"Hi, Four," Christina says, a little weirded out by his drunken state.

"That wasn't nice what you said to me earlier," he says to me, slurring a little and ignoring the other two. Does he not see them right there?

I notice his friends start to leave, and I kind of don't want to be on drunk-babysitter duty tonight, so I say, "Four, your friends are leaving, don't you want to follow them?"

He looks over to them, and then says, "Nah, you're much prettier to look at." Man does he smell. His friends end up leaving, and I don't really know what to do with him. Might as well take him to his room.

I look over at Christina and Will, and say, "I think I'm going to take him up to his room, that alright guys?" They nod understandingly, and I thank them as they walk away.

"Okay, come on Four," I say, putting my arm around his waist and pulling him to walk.

"Where we going?" he asks, and if he was anywhere in his right mind he would realize we were halfway to his room.

"To candy land," I say, not really caring at this point.

"I love candy land!" he yells, really loudly. Right in my ear. I just keep dragging him along, and when we reach his room I let go of him and start to reach in his pockets for his keys.

"Woah, aren't you going to kiss me first before you try to take my pants off?" he says. I am definitely not a fan of drunk Four. I snatch the keys out of his pockets quickly, and open the door, throwing him inside. I push him over to his bed, and he falls on top of it. He yawns, telling me he won't be awake much longer.

I take his shoes off, maybe he'll be a little more comfy in bed without them on, and I get him a glass of water and set it next to _our_ old knife. I wish I could keep that.

"You," I say, pointing a finger at him. "Don't go anywhere, just go to sleep. Do you understand me?" I feel like I'm talking to a five year old.

"Nope," he says, with a goofy grin on his face. Idiot. Drunken Four is definitely an idiot. Should I try to barricade the door?

"Will you lay with me?" he asks, quieter than before. He must be falling asleep. That's good.

I debate for a minute, and then I say yes, because I know I'll like it just as much as he will. I won't spend the night, but I can lay with him until he falls asleep. He moves over on the bed, and I lie next to him.

His face is a few inches from me, and I can smell the alcohol on his breath. He puts his hand on my waist, drawing little circles with his thumb.

"You remind me a little of someone I used to know, I think," he says, closing his eyes. Does that mean he actually remembers me as Bea? Maybe he really knows, and has just been hiding the fact. But there's no way to ask him without giving it away that I'm Bea. And I don't want to tell him when he's drunk.

"Oh yea? Who?" I ask.

"Her name was Bea. I miss Bea," he says, and I feel a pain in my chest I've never felt before. I'm hurting him by not telling him. He doesn't have to miss Bea, because she's right here, in his arms. I have to tell him soon. I can't keep doing this to the both of us.

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**So sorry for the wait! Thanks everyone for reading! Please review, I love reading them! I'll post more soon; I only just finished writing this a few minutes ago, so it might be a little while until the next chapter. Just another warning, but unfortunately for all of you I am going out of town again later this week, so there might be a little while in between chapters again. Sorry! Thanks for putting up with me though!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Tobias's POV**

I wake up from an alarm, not knowing where I am at first. My head hurts, indicating I drank last night. Probably heavily too. I see a glass of water next to my bed, and I drink it. Did I put it there?

Let's think back for a second, maybe then I'll be able to remember last night.

I watched the fear simulations of the initiates. I never like watching those. I hate seeing people being hurt, where I can't help them even if I tried. I watched people being burned to death, people being cut up into pieces, and worse. It always shakes me up a little watching that. That's probably why I drank last night. I hate not being able to help someone. It's part of who I was, being selfless. It was engraved into me as a child to help people.

I hated seeing Tris being attacked by the crows. It was horrible to watch. I couldn't stand it, not being able to help her. I don't ever want to see her hurt again.

After her simulation, I tried to help calm her down. I knew she was shaken, most people are after, but she screamed at me to leave her alone and she ran out of the room.

I stood there in shock. I had no idea what was going on in her mind, and I wondered if I did something to make her not want me to help her.

So I went to the Pit and found a few guys my age I knew and we drank. And drank. I wanted to drink away those fears I saw in the initiates' minds. And I wanted to forget about Tris running from me.

When we were drinking near the chasm, I saw her. She looked amazing. I wish I could have told her that. But I was wasted.

I don't remember much of what else happened that night. I hope I didn't say anything to embarrass myself to her. I think I'm really starting to fall for her. It must have been Tris who brought me back up here, because I remember her touch on me. Maybe she had her arm around me to support me walking up here. I'll have to talk to her later and apologize for anything that may have happened.

I never wanted her to see me like that. I don't drink often, mostly just after I watch the fear simulations. It's not that the fears scare me, just that I can't help them.

I get up, knowing there will be more fear simulations today for the initiates, and get ready.

I'm not saying the fear simulations are all bad; they do teach you a good lesson, but I wish I didn't have to watch. I mostly watch to make sure nothing goes wrong, or out of the ordinary. I can save a life though if something does go wrong.

I eat a quick breakfast, and make my way to the simulation room. Luckily we only have a few simulations to do for stage two of initiation, and the first day is usually the worst. The initiates aren't usually ready for the first one, but they get better the next few times.

So one by one, I watch as the initiates face their fears, all different from last time. Most of them fail miserably again, but a few make it out on top without taking forever. I was surprised to see how fast Tris was able to calm herself down in her simulation yesterday; one of the fastest all day. I wish I could have told her how well she did.

I open the door and let the final initiate walk in. She looks at me, and I wish I could tell her right there that I'm sorry for anything that happened last night. She looks a little tired, but she has a brave face on, and I can tell she's ready for this simulation.

I walk up to her to put the needle in her neck, and she says, "I'm sorry."

"Shh, we can talk about that later," I whisper, knowing there are cameras in here.

I look into her eyes, wishing she could see how much she means to me and how much I want to press my lips to hers. I see something in her eyes, but I can't quite tell what it is. It looks a little like hurt, but I don't know what she could be hurting from. Did I say something to her last night to hurt her? I would hate myself if I had.

I try to gently put the needle in her neck. I hate doing anything that may hurt her, but she shows no pain as it slides through her skin. Again, I give her the only thing I can to help her through this.

"Be brave, Tris," and I walk over to the screens to watch her fear.

It looks like she's back in Abnegation. All the houses look the same there. She's in the street; her face nervous and looking around; looking for her fear.

Then a little boy walks up. All I can see is the back of his head, because he's facing her. Her face portrays shock. Who is this boy?

Then he speaks. His voice is low, and full of anger and hate. He screams at her.

"I hate you! I hate you! We were never friends! It was all lies!" Tears start rolling down her cheeks. Her breathing picks up. I can't tell what exactly this fear was about.

Then the scene changed. She is at school, the school we all used to go to as kids. The boy comes back, again with his back towards me so there's no face. He keeps screaming at her, telling her how much he hates her, how he wishes she would have never existed. Did all this really happen to her? Or is it just a fear?

Again, it changes. Now she's back in Dauntless. The boy is taller now, and he keeps screaming at her. Why is he so angry at her? Why is she so scared by this?

"Stop," she whispers, trying to make the boy go away. I can tell she's thinking, she's trying to calm down, but it's not working. He just keeps yelling, screaming into her face. I hate this boy, for making her feel this way. She must have known him from Abnegation, and he's been trapped in her mind and fears, and he's followed her all the way to Dauntless.

But something changes. Her face changes from hurt and scared to shock. She must have thought about something. Maybe she'll be able to get out of this soon.

**Tris' POV**

He's here, yelling at me. Screaming at me. It started off back in Abnegation. The twelve year old boy I used to know was screaming at me, telling me how much he hated me and how much he wished I was dead. I was starting to believe it too. I had done something to him where he never wanted to see me or talk to me again, and I always thought he hated me after that. And now here he is, telling it to my face.

He just kept screaming at me. I couldn't stop the tears running down my face, and I couldn't stop believing every word he was saying.

"I hate you! You ruined my life!" His voice sounded different; maybe because I never actually heard him scream as a kid, but I could see his face, contorted with anger and hate. It was still Tobias, telling me how much he hated me.

Then he was yelling and screaming at me at school. Everyone saw it. He told everyone how much of a bad person I was; how I should be dead. My only real friend hated me.

Then he was here, in Dauntless. He looked like Four now.

Four. He watches these simulations. He's watching this right now. He's going to know I'm Bea.

Not like this; I wanted to tell him but not like this. He can't see how much I think he hates me. I need this to stop. But my heart is racing even more now, now that I know Four's watching this.

I put my hands over my ears, trying to block out his voice and make him go away. He needs to stop. I need to make this stop. This isn't real! Wait, this isn't real. It's just a simulation. It's just in my mind, and I can control my mind.

"STOP!" I scream, clenching my eyes shut to not see Tobias yelling at me; hating me.

And then it does. I don't hear the voice anymore. I open my eyes, and he's gone. I'm back in the simulation room. My heart is racing out of my chest. I know I didn't beat the simulation; I'm far from calm, with the tears still running down my cheeks, and I never actually fought him. I just stood there.

I tried to breathe slowly, to calm myself down; something I couldn't do in the simulation.

I suddenly see Four. He looks angry. For a second I thought I was still in the simulation.

"What the hell was that?" he asks. "Do you want to end up dead at the bottom of the chasm?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask, confused by his outbreak.

"I know you're Divergent," he states, and I wonder how he knows that.

"How….how do you know that?" I ask, playing dumb. I'm not super great at lying, especially to Four. And I'm still a little shaken up by him screaming at me in the simulation.

"You manipulated the simulation, signifying awareness and control while under, which tells me you're Divergent. You can't do that, Tris, unless you want to be killed," he says more calmly, more like the Four I'm starting to love.

"Why would I be killed for being Divergent?" I ask, a little confused by the situation. I remember back to the aptitude test, where Tori told me never to tell anyone I was Divergent, but she never really told me why.

"The Dauntless leaders see Divergent as threats and kill them," he states matter-of-factly. "I'm going to delete your footage to keep you safe, understood? Nobody can know what happened. I'll tell them the system malfunctioned and deleted the tape." He stares into my eyes, and I resist the urge to kiss him. I can't stop seeing him yell at me, even though he's right in front of me, speaking quietly and calmly.

He must notice I'm still shaken from the simulation, because he brings his hand up and brushes my hair back, and then places his hand on my cheek. The instant his warmth is on me I start to calm down, and the yelling Tobias starts to disappear from my sight. Wait, he had to have seen everything. Why hasn't he brought it up yet?

"What exactly did you see in my simulation?" I ask, nervous about his answer.

He keeps his hand on my cheek, again drawing little circles with his thumb and stares into my eyes. I love that.

"You were being screamed at by a boy. You must have known him from Abnegation. Who was he?" he asks, and I can see in his eyes that there was no recognition.

"You didn't see his face?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"No, he was always facing you, and you were facing towards the screen. Who was he?" he asks again, and I know I can't tell him. I can't tell him that it was him screaming at me, telling me he hates me. I start to hear his voice again, "I hate you!" and I close my eyes as tears start to fall. Again, I'm weak.

He sees the tears fall, and then puts his strong arms around me. I wrap my arms around him, holding onto him, and silently telling him I'm sorry for whatever I did to make him hate me so much.

He held me for what seemed like hours, and I never wanted him to let go. Being in his arms is the safest place I know. Being there even keeps me safe from him; from him screaming at me and hating me. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell him, that he's the boy who hates me so much.

That's what that fear is. It's the fear of his reaction when I tell him I'm Bea. I'm terrified he's going to hate me, even more than I know he does. He was yelling at me as a kid, and at school where he stopped talking to me, and the last one was actually Four yelling at me; hating me both from when we were younger and now when he finds out who I am.

Maybe I should never tell him. I don't ever want to see him hate me again. Maybe he can know me as only Tris forever. But just last night he told me he missed Bea. Maybe he doesn't hate Bea now as much as I believe. But it might all be different when he finds out the Tris he knows is actually Bea. I don't want anything between us to change, especially for the worse.

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**Hope you like it! Review, review, review! I'll post more soon, thanks again for reading! Special thanks to khushi25 for the idea this chapter is based on! You rock!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Tobias' POV**

I just held her. I held her as she cried, probably still hearing those hurtful words that boy was yelling at her. I wish I could make them go away. I could only hold her. And I loved having her in my arms.

Over the next few days, I watched the initiates face more of their fears. I told Tris that she may have to be in the simulations longer to not draw attention to herself. She hated that idea of course, but said she would try.

I got some crap from Eric about her tape being erased. Luckily though, they didn't suspect I had anything to do with it, and I was able to tell them she took longer on the simulation than she did, giving her a lower score in rankings but maybe saving her life.

I watched as she was burned on a stake, drowned in the middle of an ocean, watched her family bleed to death and shooting them while she was held at gunpoint. I felt a little bad I was watching her face her fears; maybe she wanted this to be private. I'll ask her about it tonight. Since we haven't been able to spend any alone time lately, and even though we shouldn't until this is over, we agreed to meet at the net we first jumped into when we chose Dauntless. I have a surprise; I'm going to take her out on the train.

We have a little extra time tonight for free time because the initiates are getting a lot quicker at finishing their fear simulations. That's why I chose tonight to take her out, and I kind of want to pretend it's a real date. I've never been on a date, never wanted to. But I want to spend time with Tris, because I can't stop thinking about her all the time. I know that the second this is over, I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend. I want to make it official. I just hope she says yes.

I arrive at the net, and I notice she beat me here.

"Hey," I say, startling her a little. She's lying on the net, looking up above at the sky. I climb up and roll over to her, making her laugh as I land on top of her.

"Why hello," she says back, as I roll off of her and grab her to roll on me. I like this, acting all cutesy and cuddly. It's not something we've been able to do yet. It's just us two here; we can be ourselves. And I feel like I can actually be me, not just the Four I pretend to be.

She pushes herself off of me, and I resist the urge to whine. I liked her there. She rolls over, resting her head on my arm as we both stare up at the sky now. I remember I had things to ask her, since I haven't been able to talk to her alone in so long.

"Hey, I have things I want to ask you," I say, and I feel her tense up. Why did she do that?

"It's nothing bad, I promise," I say, making her relax a little. Weird.

She turns her head towards me, and says, "Sure," with that cute smile of hers. Did I just say cute?

"Okay first one, are you upset that I see your fear simulations? I mean, I don't want to invade your privacy or anything…." I trail off, not knowing how else to put it.

She moves around, where her body is now perpendicular to mine, and our sides our connected as she rests her head on her hand, which is propped up by her elbow on top of my chest. She stares into my eyes, and I stare back into hers.

"Well…at first I might have been, just because I was scared about what you would think of me after you saw them. But now, I don't care. It's nice not being the only one who sees them; I know you can help me get through them better if you know what they are," she says honestly. I'm really glad she can be honest with me. She smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back. Man I want to kiss her right now.

"Okay next question. What happened….the night I got drunk?" I ask, embarrassed. I don't want to bring it up, but I need to know if something bad happened.

She laughs, throwing her head back. It's so nice to see her carefree and loving life.

"Oh great, what did I do, take my pants off or something?" I joke, not having any idea as to why she's laughing.

"Well no, but you thought I was taking them off you when I reached for your keys," she laughs again. "You weren't too bad. You called me sweet thang," she says, and she has the most adorable smile on her face. I'll call her that more if I can get that reaction out of her.

"I walked you back up to your room, and you believed me when I said we were going to candy land," she laughs again. I love her laugh. I join in with her laughter, imagining it had to be quite comical.

"I told you to go to bed, and not go anywhere, but you said no. Ya turd," she says, jabbing me in the side.

"That's it," I say, rolling her off me and tickling her. Her laughter fills the room, bouncing off the walls. This is the most fun I've had in forever. My fingers slide up and down her sides, as she squirms and tries to get away. Not so easy when you're on a net. Her shirt comes up a little, and I feel my hands on her skin. I slowly quit tickling her, and place my hands on her sides, feeling her soft, warm skin. I look up to her face, and still see that smile. Every part of me is telling me to kiss her. I want to feel her soft lips on mine.

"You told me to lay with you," she says, breathless from being tickled. "So I did, and you mentioned Bea again. You didn't fall asleep long after that." Good, I didn't say anything too embarrassing. But I wonder what my drunken self said about Bea.

Just as I was about to ask, I remember what I came here to do.

"Okay, I have one last question," I say, earning an eye roll from her.

"What's with all the questions?" she asks.

"Because I haven't been able to talk to you like I want to, okay? Is it such a crime?" I can't seem to not smile when I'm around her.

"Would you…" great now I'm actually getting nervous. Since when do I get nervous? "Would you like to go on a small outing with me?" Who says small outing? What's wrong with me?

She giggles, and asks, "Like a date?"

"Yes, exactly like a date. I am asking you, Ms. Tris, on a date."

She looks up and around the room, as if thinking on a hard question. I never actually thought she might say no. I would definitely feel like an idiot.

She must have noticed the scared look on my face, so she laughs and says, "Of course I will. I was starting to think you'd never ask me out." She throws a wink at me.

Yes, I know we agreed to keep this thing between us on hold until after initiation, but I'm pretty sure both of us couldn't wait any longer. I know I was going crazy not being able to even talk to her. But I want to do something special with her, and I thought a date would be the perfect thing to get our minds off of initiation and on the two of us.

"Great!" I exclaim, and giddily race off the net, her right on my tail. I feel like a kid again when I'm with her. I don't have a care in the world, as long as she's by my side.

I walk with her to one of the exits, and the second we reach outside I grab her hand to hold. I look over to her, and place a quick kiss on her cheek, just because I wanted to.

"Where are we going? I thought I'm not allowed to leave the compound," she says, looking around outside.

"One, I'm not telling you where we're going. And two, you're not allowed to leave the compound unattended. Just think of it as I'm babysitting you," I joke at her, earning a playful smack on my arm.

"Oh, kind of like I babysat you the other day?" she jokes back. I love her feistiness.

"Come on, we can't be late," I say, pulling her along. Luckily I had planned for a little time on the net, and we are running on schedule as to what I have planned. I hope she likes it.

We arrive next to the train tracks, and I can tell it will be here in a few minutes. I look at her, and the way the moonlight is on her skin makes her radiant. She looks beautiful.

"You look beautiful," I say, cheesy I know.

"Why thank you. You don't look too bad yourself," she says.

I stare into her eyes, and then I place my right hand behind her neck, pulling her towards me. Then I do the thing I've wanted to do since the last time; I kissed her. Her lips on mine is one of the most amazing feelings. I pull her body closer to me with my other hand, placing it on the small of her back. She kisses me back with no hesitation this time. If I died in this moment, I would die happy.

But all too soon, I pull away; both of us need to breathe. I still keep her body close to mine, not wanting to let her go. She looks at me, and I can't help but feel like I'm falling in love with her. It's been so long since I've felt any love that I'm not sure what it feels like anymore. But she's bringing it back alive inside of me.

I just stare into her eyes, and again I notice the glow she has from the moonlight. I look at her, really look at her, and there's a tiny spark of recognition in the back of my mind. I have no idea what it was, but something about the way she looks right now in the moonlight reminds me of something. Of someone.

The rumbling of the train pulls me out of my thoughts before I have the chance to say anything, and I start running alongside the tracks with her hand in mine. I don't want to let go of her; not now, not ever.

I easily jump on the train, and she follows, not having any trouble getting on. She is a fast learner.

I'm only taking her a little ways away from the compound, and so we won't be on the train long. Tris leans up again the wall, and I place my hand on the wall near her head for support, and so I can still be close to her. We both stare out at the moving terrain; watching as the world speeds by. I wish we could just run away together; not have to worry about the world around us, about initiation, about our pasts.

I want to tell her about what happened with my father soon. I want her to know everything there is to me. I want her to know my name, who I really am. Nobody in Dauntless knows, but I trust Tris. There's just something about her that makes me come alive. I haven't felt this alive since I was with Bea all those years ago.

We're almost to the place, and I gently touch Tris' arm, telling her it's time to jump. We both jump, hand in hand, and since we're not used to jumping with someone else, we stumble a little, and Tris ends up on top of me. We both laugh and get up.

"Not the most graceful landing I've done before," I joke, and grab her hand again, leading her towards my surprise.

Just a few feet away, there's a blanket on the ground, with a basket on top. Yes, I know, a picnic as a first date would normally be considered cheesy, but there's not much else I could do since we had to sneak out and can't go out in the compound together.

"A picnic?" she asks excitedly.

"Yeah, I didn't really know what else we could do, since we can't be seen by anyone," I explain.

"I think it's perfect," she says, and gives me a light kiss on my cheek before sitting on the blanket. I sit next to her, and start taking out the food. Since I brought all this out earlier, I couldn't really pack hot things, so it's just a couple sandwiches and cake. I love cake.

We end up talking about nothings, and laughing and just enjoying each other for who knows how long, when I remember something.

"Hey, you never told me your story as to how you knew you wanted to become Dauntless," I remind her. I still want to know how she became such a strong person coming from Abnegation; how she already knew how to fight.

Her face becomes serious. I instantly regret bringing it up. I didn't want her to be uncomfortable or down on our date, I was just asking because I'm really curious.

"You don't have to tell me though if you don't want to," I quickly say, hoping that smile of hers comes back.

She's quiet for a moment, and then looks up at me. "No, it's fine. I agreed I would tell you. And I think now is the perfect time. But I'm afraid," she says quietly. What does she have to be afraid of? Is she afraid I'll end up like the boy yelling at her in her fear simulation? Why would I yell at her?

"What are you afraid of?" I ask, pulling her close to me, so we're both lying down and she's in my arms.

"I'm afraid you'll think of me differently. I'm afraid you'll hate me."

"Nothing you say will ever change the way I think about you," I tell her, and I mean it. I think I'm falling in love with this girl, and nothing can change that.

She looks up at me, and says, "You promise?"

"Of course," I say, and I kiss her, hoping she'll feel what I feel for her in the kiss. Hoping she'll understand how much she means to me.

Once we separate from the kiss, she sits up, but I still hold on to her hand. I sit up to and wait for her to speak.

She takes a deep breath, looks straight into my eyes, and says, "Tobias, my full name is Beatrice Prior. I'm Bea."

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**There! She finally said it! How is Tobias going to react? Please review! Thanks for reading, I'll post more as soon as I can!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay, because I got sooooo much feedback from the last chapter (and because I'm going out of town tomorrow) I am posting this chapter! Enjoy!**

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**Tris' POV**

I take a deep breath, look straight into his eyes, and say, "Tobias, my full name is Beatrice Prior. I'm Bea."

There. I finally said it. I finally told him who I really am. I stare at him, waiting for some kind of reaction out of him. Maybe this won't be as bad as I thought; maybe he'll tell me he just got too busy to hang out with me, that he never hated me. Maybe we'll be better than we were now that he knows.

He stares back at me, with a look of confusion on his face.

"You're….Bea?" he says, as if repeating it will make more sense to him.

I nod, not really knowing what else to say. I'm still waiting on him, to find out how he feels about this; about me.

He lets go of my hand, stands up and starts to pace. Uh oh, this can't be good.

"All this time, you knew who I was. Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he asks, and I can't tell what emotion is behind his words; hurt, shock, confusion?

"I was scared," I say, not wanting to tell him he was the boy in my fear simulation, not wanting to bring up how much he hated me.

"Scared of what?" he asks, his voice getting a little louder. I can feel my heart start to race.

"Scared you would only see me as the little kid I used to be. Scared you would only see me as Bea. Scared you would…." Hate me again. I can't say it; I know it's coming though.

"So you've been lying to me all along? Has this all been just some kind of joke to you?" he says, and I can tell he's getting angrier. I knew it; he does still hate Bea. I should have never told him.

"No, of course not! This, with you, has been the happiest moment of my life! I would never pretend to care about you," I say, hoping he hears the truth.

"Just like you've been pretending you weren't Bea! How can I ever trust you again? You've been doing nothing but lying to me!" he yells. My fear came true; he's standing here, yelling at me; hating me. But this time it makes me angry.

"You want to talk to me about trust?!" I scream. "I trusted you to be there for me when we were kids! I trusted you to meet up with me every night! I trusted you to be my friend, to be there for me! And you abandoned me! I never knew what I did to make you hate me! I still don't! I was afraid that when you found out I was Bea you'd go back to hating me, leaving me behind, and never talking to me again! But I took a chance and TRUSTED you again when I became Tris!" I'm furious, that he can be accusing me of lying to him. I know I didn't tell him the truth, but I never lied to him!

"I left you to protect you!" he screams at me. Protect me? Protect me from what?

"Protect me from what? From us getting in trouble for sneaking out? It wouldn't have been that great of a punishment! You could have just told me you didn't want to do it anymore; you should have talked to me!" We keep screaming at each other. I feel my eyes start to water; either from him standing right here yelling at me, or the emotions running through me, I don't know.

He quickly walks up to me, and puts both his hands on my arms, gripping them a little too tightly.

"I was protecting you from my father!" he yells, staring straight into my eyes. "He beat me! And I couldn't risk the chance of him finding out about you and hurting you too!" Tears form in his eyes; I've never seen him cry. His father beat him? He left to protect me?

He never hated me. All those years filled with the thoughts of him hating me, trying to figure out what I did to make him hate me, were all wrong.

My anger suddenly vanishes. I was wrong. He had been hurt, and he left so that wouldn't happen to me. I try to slow my breathing; try to calm down, but it's hard with him so close to me and so angry. I've never seen him like this before; it terrifies me. I thought I knew him so well, but I've never seen this side of him, and I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. His hands are still tightly wrapped on my arms, hurting me. I can tell he doesn't realize, from the look in his eyes.

"Tobias," I say fearfully, flinching a little and looking over to my arms where his hands are.

He must have seen the hurt and frightened look in my eyes, because his face changes from anger to shock, and he steps back and pulls his hands away from me as if I burned him. I try to mask the terrified look on my face, but it's no good. I know he would never purposefully hurt me, but there was so much anger in his eyes, I didn't know what he was going to do.

He stares at me for a second, shock written all over his face, and then he turns around so he's not facing me anymore. He puts his face in his hands, and I can tell he's trying to calm down. I want to help him; tell him it's okay.

I take a step towards him, not knowing what to say to make this better.

"Stop," he says. "Don't come any closer. I….I just need to be alone right now. I'm sorry, but I have to go," he says, not turning to look at me. And then he takes off. He starts running, never looking back. Running towards the compound, and leaving me here alone.

I stand there in shock for about a minute, and then I drop down onto my knees. He left me again. Alone. I'm not sure we'll ever be the same again. I was given a second chance with him before when I came to Dauntless; both of us different people. But I know there won't be a third chance for us. This might actually be the end of us.

I just sit there; for who knows how long, trying to think back on everything that was said tonight. He said his father beat him. I can't believe that happened to him. I wish there was something I could do, something I could have done. I was too busy thinking about myself that I never could have imagined something was happening to him. He was protecting me.

So he's saved me in more ways than I thought. He's not only saved me as Tris, but he saved Bea, too. He was only twelve years old when that had to have started happening, but he knew he didn't want that to happen to me. So he did the only thing he could have; he let me go.

There's so much I want to say to him right now. I want to apologize for everything; for yelling at him, for assuming he hated me, for not telling him the truth. For being afraid of him. But he ran from me; I don't know if he wants to see me. I don't know what he's thinking right now.

Maybe he can never forgive me for not telling him I was Bea. I don't know if the feelings he had for me as Tris will still be there anymore. He did promise those feelings wouldn't change, but after seeing him run from me, after everything that's happened tonight, I'm just not sure.

I get up, feeling exhausted from everything that's happened tonight, and I pick up our picnic and the blanket. He must have come out here earlier and set this up. It was a perfect date, up until I ruined it. I imagined the ending of this date a lot differently. I imagined us walking back, hand in hand, laughing and smiling. And I imagined him giving me one last kiss goodnight before we walked back into the compound.

I start making my way back, knowing it won't be that long of a walk, because we were on the train for so little of a time. I try to stop thinking. I don't want to assume anything from how this night ended, but I can't help but feel that we won't be the same after this.

So I think about tomorrow instead. Tonight the stage two rankings were going to be posted; Four had said earlier that he knew where I would be on the list, either at first or close to the top, so I didn't have to worry about checking it. We were told tomorrow we will practice for our final stage, going in someone else's fear landscape. I don't really want to see Tobias in front of everyone tomorrow, not being able to talk to him first.

I make it back to the compound, and it must be a lot later than I thought because nobody is around. I thought I was going to have trouble getting back in, because Tobias wasn't here to escort me in. It seems like so long ago that we were joking about him being my babysitter when we first left to go on our date.

I make it back to the dorm, and quietly get in to bed, careful not to wake anyone. I must be a lot stealthier than I thought, because I don't hear anyone move. I just lay there, staring at nothingness. The exhaustion takes over me and I fall asleep.

*******PAGE BREAK*******

**Tobias' POV**

Tris is Bea. Bea is Tris. Be-a-tris. How did I not see that? Now that I know, I can see the resemblance of Bea in her.

I was so angry when she told me. I couldn't believe she was just lying to me, pretending to be someone else. I wasn't sure if she was lying about how she felt about me too. I hated that I yelled at her. I hated that I called her a liar. I felt terrible.

But not as terrible as I feel now after seeing her hurt and scared. I hurt her; I scared her. I promised myself long ago that I would never hurt her, and tonight I did. My words hurt her; my hands hurt her.

I told her everything; I told her about my father. I didn't want to tell her like that but she was saying this nonsense about me hating her and I just lost it. I know I should have told her long ago what happened, but I couldn't risk her getting hurt by my father.

But now I went and hurt her. I was so busy thinking about my father, remembering all the times he would beat me, that I didn't even realize how tight I was gripping her arms. I didn't realize how scary I must have looked, until she spoke up.

She sounded so scared, and the look in her eyes was pure terror. I had never seen her look like that; not even after she was attacked. I scared her more than that monster had. I must be the real monster.

I ran as fast as I could back to the compound, and straight into my room. I had to get away. And I just left her there. There are so many things I want to apologize to her for. I just want her back in my arms. I want tonight to have never happened. But I don't want to forget she's Bea. I finally have my best friend back, and I can't believe I am falling in love with her.

But she will never love me, not after tonight. She saw the monster I could be, and she probably won't ever talk to me again. I wish I hadn't run away from her, but I had to go and clear that monster out of my head. It was so strange. When I was thinking about my father beating me, it was like I had become him. The look on Tris' face was the same look I used to have, when I would look at _him_. I despise that I'm the reason she had such a terrified look on her face. In her eyes.

After a while I calm down, and I notice the knife next to my bed. I sit down on my bed and pick it up, feeling the coldness of the metal on my hands. I think back to when I told Tris how I got the knife. I guess she never really knew how I got them when we were younger; she never really asked. She always just went along with whatever I said.

It's different to think about Tris now, knowing she's Bea. It's hard to imagine that the little Bea I used to know is such a strong, brave person now. I would have never expected her to be Dauntless.

I don't know how long I just laid on my bed, holding the knife and thinking back on everything. I wish I could find Tris now and tell her how sorry I am, for everything. But I can't, not tonight. I don't want to find her with that terrified look on her face again.

I'll try to talk to her tomorrow, after initiation. It's going to be hard; I have to pretend like none of this ever happened tomorrow. In front of everyone, I'm just Four and she's just Tris. There's no Tobias and Bea, not until we're alone. I hope she'll see how sorry I am when I first see her though. But I'll have to treat her like any other initiate, and not like the girl I'm falling in love with.

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**Please REVIEW! I love reading them! Thanks to everyone who's read, I hope you love it as much as I do! I'll try to post more before I leave!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay, I was able to get another chapter written before I left! Here it is! Enjoy!**

**Tris' POV**

We're all sitting in the hallway next to the simulation room waiting to go inside. All the initiates. We haven't seen Four yet. I wish the second he walks out of the room that I could run up to him and jump into his arms, where everything would be alright between us. I could tell him how sorry I am, and how much he means to me. I could thank him for protecting me all those years ago, from a threat I never knew existed.

But I know I can't. Not right now at least. I'll have to wait until we're alone, and that won't be until later; if he even agrees to talk with me.

The door opens, and I'm disappointed when I see Lauren walk out.

"Today you each will be entering into one of my fears in my fear landscape. Most people have about ten to fifteen fears. The minimum we've ever seen was four. You each will have to face a fear of mine, to give you a sense of what it will be like for you tomorrow. Any questions?" she asks. I want to ask where Four is, but I hold back.

We all walk into the room because now we're all training together. I still don't see Four, but he could be around because I know he usually watches the fears.

We all watch as one by one someone enters a fear. It's kind of nerve-racking, knowing everyone is going to be watching you, watching how you react to a fear. I try not to pay too much attention to the other initiates. I can't stop thinking about Four.

It becomes my turn to enter a fear. We're not told which fear we will be entering. Lauren walks up to me, and inserts the needle into my neck. Not as gently as Four does it. I imagine Four there, whispering to me to be brave.

Then everything fades to black. I wait, trying to stay calm while the unknown fear comes to life. I don't know what it is that's going to happen.

Suddenly, a hand reaches out from behind me and covers my mouth, locking in my scream. Another arm crosses over my chest, holding me tightly so I'm unable to move. I try to fight, try to get away, but nothing works. I hear the rushing of water, and I start to see the chasm. I keep screaming, but the hands around me only tighten, making it impossible to escape. Impossible to escape my kidnappers.

I knew they weren't gone. I knew they were still alive and that they would come back for me. Hot tears run down my cheeks, as I thrash and keep screaming, trying anything to escape. They didn't finish me off last time, so they came back to kill me. I envision my body being thrown over into the chasm. I only scream harder. I fight, but nothing works. I'm going to die. I scream and scream.

"Stop!" a voice says. Suddenly, everything vanishes. The hand covering my mouth disappears, and I'm back in the simulation room. I fall to my knees, trying to catch my breath. I failed the simulation. Lauren's fear transformed into one of my own.

And everybody saw me.

I hear footsteps, and a strong arm pulls me to my feet. Through my tears, I see Four, with a stern look on his face.

"What the hell was that, Stiff?" he asks. I can't see any of the Tobias I know under his Four mask.

I'm too shocked to say anything. Did he just call me Stiff?

"Get yourself together, this is pathetic," he says, and lets go of my arm.

The shock I just held is now replaced with anger. How dare he? After everything we went through yesterday, he's going to talk to me like this? In front of everyone? Did he not realize what that fear was to me? How similar it was to my own?

Without thinking, my hand flies up and collides with his face. He deserved to be slapped, if he's going to treat me like that.

My eyes hold his gaze for less than a second, and I can see the shock in his eyes. I turn around and rush out of the room, leaving everyone behind me.

I thought I had thrown that fear over into the chasm a few days ago; the fear of what happened to me. Apparently it's not that easy. Somewhere deep down inside me the fear still lingers.

Maybe I'll have to face that fear again in my fear landscape. Fears can change. And I don't know how many fears I'll have to face.

I spend the rest of the day in the dorms, just hanging out with Christina and Will. I was going to try and talk to Tobias tonight, but after what happened in initiation, I can't face him. He was a completely different person today. Maybe he went back to just being Four, the Four I barely knew, and he wants to forget everything that happened between us. Still, he had no right to treat me like crap in front of everyone. I'm not sorry I slapped him.

But I do wish he would just show up at the door and ask me to take a walk with him. If he came here, I probably would talk to him. I mean, I owe him that much for everything he's done for me, even if he only came to tell me he doesn't want to see me anymore.

But he never shows up, and I can feel a little piece inside of me slowly die. I was really starting to fall for him, for the Tobias I once knew and who he had become. But recently, I don't know who he is anymore. I don't know what to think anymore.

**Tobias' POV**

I hear Lauren outside telling the initiates about what is going to happen today, and how they each will enter in one of her fears. I stayed in here because I didn't want to be tempted to look at Tris, in case I would give something away.

I try to pay attention to the screen in front of me as the initiates enter a fear, but my eyes keep drifting over towards Tris. I'm behind her, so I doubt she even knows I'm here.

I watch as Lauren walks up to her and injects her with the serum. I'm too focused watching her in real life to glance at the screen to watch the fear. I see her tense, and her mouth opens as if to scream, but nothing comes out. Her breathing becomes uneven, and I can tell she's struggling against something. Tears run down her face. I notice my muscles tense, seeing her in distress and not being able to help her.

Her heart beat races, and I can tell she's losing it. Everyone in the room can. She's not gaining control of the fear; she's getting lost in it. I have to end this, before it gets worse. I can't bear to watch her like this much longer anyway.

So I yell, "Stop," as I quit the simulation. Eyes are locked on me by everyone in the room. I notice Tris topple over, from the weight of the simulation that she just went through.

I walk over to her, wishing I could just hold her in my arms, but I have to play the part. I have to be Four, the non-caring instructor. She's just a student who failed a simulation.

"What the hell was that, Stiff?" I ask, after pulling her to her feet. I can't tell if she doesn't speak because of the simulation, or because of what I just said. I've always hated the name Stiff, but I'm just playing a part right now.

"Get yourself together, this is pathetic," I say, and I let go of her arm.

I hate treating her like this; I hope she knows it's just an act.

I realize she doesn't know this is just an act when I feel a sting on my cheek, right where she slapped me. I guess I deserved that. I know I deserved that after I scared her yesterday, after I just treated her like crap in front of everyone, but it still shocked me.

She rushes out of the room, and I resist the urge to follow her. She probably hates me even more now; I'm only pushing her further and further away.

The rest of the initiates pass through, with me barely paying any attention to them. Once their all done, it's only Lauren and I left in the room. She must have noticed something was off with me, so she comes and sits next to me. She's always been a good friend to me. Nothing more, nothing less. We understand each other, without knowing a whole lot about the other's past before Dauntless.

"What's up, Four?" she asks. It's not like I can tell her the girl I'm falling in love with hates me, slapped me today, and probably won't ever talk to me again. That wouldn't be a great conversation to have.

So I just look at her, giving her a look that says, "Really?" because I know she saw Tris slap me.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me everything, but why did that Tris girl slap you?" she says, laughing a little. "That slap said a lot more than for you to just quit being a jerk to her."

"It was that obvious?" I ask, getting a little worried that everyone in the room noticed. Maybe I didn't do such a great job acting.

"No, it wasn't obvious. I just know you better than that. You normally wouldn't allow an initiate to slap you and still be able to walk out of the room," she says, and she's right. If any other initiate had laid a finger on me, they'd end up in the infirmary. But I would never hurt Tris, at least not intentionally.

I sigh, not knowing what to tell Lauren. I know she's a great friend, but the story between Tris and I is a lot more complicated than I want to get into right now. I still haven't figured it all out myself.

"She's…different," I tell her. I don't know what else to say to Lauren. But when I look at her, expecting her to question what I mean, I see a face of understanding.

"You like her, don't you?" she asks, with a knowing smile on her face. I'm really not good at hiding this, am I?

My silence must have given her the answer she needed, because she just laughs and says, "Aw, Four's got a crush!" and I resist the urge to punch her. I wish I could tell her it's a lot more than a simple crush. But I don't want her to get involved. It's too complicated to involve her even if I tried.

How would I even put it? Oh yea, this girl I used to sneak off with when we were kids, turns out to be an initiate here. She hid the fact that she knew who I was, and I started to fall in love with her. Recently, she told me who she was and after a big argument between us, we haven't resolved things yet. Now, I was trying to hide the fact that there's something between us to everyone in the world by being a dick to her, and that made it even worse. The last sixteen hours or so have not been great to me. Yea, that's a pretty good summary of it all.

But I don't say any of that. I just give Lauren a half smile, and get up to leave the room.

"Hey," she calls, making me turn to look at her. "Everything will work itself out, okay? Don't worry too much," she says, and I find comfort in her words.

I tell her thanks, and head to my room.

I had planned on talking to Tris tonight, but decide against it, remembering the sting of her hand on my cheek. Maybe we need a little time to cool off. As much as I want to talk to her, I can't imagine she wants to talk to me right now.

So I decide I'll wait until initiation is over to talk to her. Tomorrow's the last day, and I won't see her until it's all over. No matter what happens though, after they call her as an official member of Dauntless because I know they will, I'm going to run up to her and kiss her. It would be worth getting slapped again, if she still hates me.

I might even end up telling her I love her tomorrow.

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**R-E-V-I-E-W PLEASE! Thanks for reading! More will be posted as soon as I can!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Okay, I just got back from vacation, and I have one chapter ready for you guys! Thanks for being patient and I hope you love it!**

**Tris' POV**

Today's the day. Today is the last day of initiation. After this, my fate will be decided.

I never actually thought about what would happen if I failed initiation and was left to be factionless. I used to have so much confidence in myself, and I always believed I truly belonged in Dauntless. But lately, everything seems to shake me.

I can't let this happen. I know who I am, and I know I am brave.

I just have to let everything go. I have to forget about everything that's been happening, and focus all I have on this last stage, on my fear landscape.

I have to stop thinking about Tobias. At least for now.

In a few moments, I will be called to enter the simulation room. I will soon face all my fears, head on. I will be ready.

The door opens, and I walk inside. The person who I am not supposed to be thinking about is nowhere in sight, just Lauren. Lauren walks up to me, and has a strange smile on her face.

"So…Tris, right?" she asks, even though I'm pretty sure she knows my name since I was next on the list.

I nod, not really knowing what else I should say.

She walks up to me, and brings the needle up to my neck.

"I can see why he likes you," she says, and plunges the serum into my veins.

Before I have time to think, everything vanishes. The scenery changes and I am in a field with tall grass, nothing else in sight. I feel a shiver go up my spine.

I know what's coming. The crows. They were my first fear last time.

I see a cloud of black flying my way. Thousands and thousands of birds. I try to think, think of something that will help me survive this. How do you beat thousands of birds?

I crouch, and start feeling around in the grass for something, anything to help me. My hand is met with a cold object, and I pick it up.

Sweet. A flame thrower.

A smile appears on my face, and when the birds are a few feet away from me I pull the trigger, creating a giant snake of flames that engulf the crows.

Then nothing. The crows, the field, the flames are all gone.

The next fear I face I'm tied to a wooden stake. All my enemies are here, ready to watch me burn. I struggle, instinctively trying to get free.

I start to feel the heat of the flames below me, rising to set my flesh on fire.

Think. Stay calm, and think. But it's hard to think over the laughter of everyone watching me burn.

What can I use to help me defeat this fear?

"Look at the Stiff, she's nothing but a scared weakling!" Al shouts.

I look around, and I find the answer on how I can defeat this. I stare directly at _him_, at Peter.

"You don't scare me anymore!" I scream. "None of you do!" They're laughter dies down, and they begin to vanish.

I try to calm down, remembering that he's gone and never coming back.

Suddenly, I'm thrown into water. Waves crash into my face, making it impossible to breathe. The current pulls me under, and when I struggle to swim to the surface I only get dragged further down.

My lungs scream for oxygen.

I do the only thing I can think of; I swim down. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

My vision starts to fade, from the lack of oxygen, when I feel the water evaporate around me.

I try to slow my breathing, feeling like I just ran a marathon.

Then my family walks toward me, and I resist the urge to run into their arms. They're not real.

I feel the familiar coldness of a gun in my hand. I know what they want me to do here. But I can't, I won't be responsible for the death of my family.

I would rather die than kill them. Wait, that's it.

"I won't kill you," I say, trying to show them my love, even if they're not real.

I pull the gun up to my head, and I pull the trigger.

Everything goes black again, but I can tell I'm not dead.

I look around, waiting for an object or a person to appear. All of a sudden a hand wraps around my mouth. I can't see anything; everything is still black. My hands seem to be tied, because I can't bring them up to fight the invisible hand.

I try to squirm, try to do anything, but nothing is happening. My body feels as if it's being dragged, to a place I don't know, and I can't do anything to stop it.

I need to calm down. This isn't real!

Nobody is going to save me this time. I have to save myself. I have to be my own hero.

I try to imagine being able to fight. How I would put all my strength into my punches, into my kicks. I feel the invisible tie on my hands loosen, and I bring my right hand up, my fist only connecting with air. I try to fight some more, imagining I am in control of this fight. Imagining I am winning.

Because I can win. I can almost win any fight I put my mind to.

And then the hand is gone, and I know I'm alone in this darkness.

Until someone starts walking to me. Well more like limping. I squint, trying to see who it is. I see a trail of red in their wake. They're bleeding, and a lot from the look of it.

Then I see his face. Tobias. He looks as if he's been shot!

I run to him, and he collapses the second I reach him. I pull him into my arms.

"What….what happened to you?" I ask, as tears fill my eyes. I look into his, and see nothing but pain.

"You did this to me, Tris. You killed me," he says, and I see a gun in my hand. He struggles to keep his eyes open.

"No! Please, don't leave me again," I beg, but I know it's no use.

I hear a noise, and I look over, seeing Tobias limp towards me again. The Tobias in my arms vanished, and this time the one walking towards me has a knife stuck in his chest. He reaches me and collapses, again telling me I'm the reason he's dying.

I can't breathe, watching him over and over collapse from different things I did to kill him.

It gets hard to see him with all the tears falling from my eyes. The pain is almost unbearable. I can't live without him.

Another Tobias comes, and this time I pull the knife that's plunged into his body out and turn it around towards me. I won't live without him.

I plunge the knife towards my chest, right where my heart is. But it stops, as if my skin has turned to metal.

I try again, and again it doesn't work. I try to slit my neck, do anything to myself to make this go away; to make me not have to live without him. But nothing works.

That's the fear. The fear that I will have to live the rest of my life without him.

I fall to my knees, not knowing what else to do. Another Tobias crawls over, this one without a leg. He says I chopped it off. I watch as his body becomes lifeless again, and then vanishes, only to have another Tobias come again.

I realize that I may someday have to live my life without him. The thought is almost unbearable, but it's the truth. It may be tomorrow, it may be in fifty years from now. But I'll still have to live on.

Tobias disappears again, and I wait for another one to fill his place. But it takes longer this time than the other times. The room changes, and it's the simulation room.

Tobias walks over to me, but this Tobias is different. He's not bleeding. Maybe the simulation is over, and he's here to walk me out. But why does the room look a little different?

He reaches me, and puts his hands on my waist.

Before I have a chance to say anything, his mouth is on mine. It's not as perfect as the other times we've kissed, his lips don't move perfectly with mine. I must still be in the simulation.

Why is Tobias kissing me in my fear simulation? I'm definitely not afraid of him kissing me; I love it. But then what could this mean?

His hands start to move, slowly moving up and under my shirt. My eyes widen, and I see a bed appear out of the corner of my eye. No way. Seriously? I'm afraid of having sex with him?

His hands keep moving, and so I grab his face in between my hands, forcing him to look me in the eyes.

"I'm not having sex with you," I say, and he disappears.

The simulation room vanishes, but then reappears. This time it looks a lot more real. I look around, and see Lauren, smiling.

Well, more like trying to hold back a laugh. Oh no, she must have seen everything. She must have seen my last fear. I feel my cheeks redden from embarrassment, and I start to leave the room.

Before I leave, the Dauntless leaders walk up to me and congratulate me for completing my final evaluation. It would have meant a little more to me if they weren't all laughing at me. I resist the urge to punch them.

I notice that Tobias isn't around, and I want to make sure he's okay after everything I just saw. So I head up to his room. The images pop into my head of his cold, lifeless body lying in my arms, and all but sprint to his room.

I pound on the door.

What seems like minutes pass by, and then his door opens, reveling a very live Tobias.

Before he says anything, tears fill my eyes and I fly at him, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tight.

Not a moment later I feel his arms wrap around me. Nothing in the world matters right now.

He slowly pulls back, and I almost grip him tighter, but I know we should talk.

"I had to make sure you were okay," I say, wiping the tears from my eyes and looking at him. He pulls me over to his bed, and we sit down, facing each other.

"What do you mean?" he asks, almost avoiding my eyes. I realize he might still be mad at me. I forgot about all that happened when I rushed here, because I needed to make sure he was okay.

"In my fear landscape…you…I…" I sputter out. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to tell him I can't live without him.

But he looks up, stares directly into my eyes, and then leans forward, his mouth connecting with mine. His soft lips move in sync with mine, nothing like the simulation. I know he's real.

We pull apart, and I just stare into his eyes, hoping he can just read everything I want to say to him through them.

"I'm sorry," we both say at the same time. We laugh a little, easing some of the tension in the room.

"Please, let me go first," he says, and I nod.

"I'm so sorry for how I acted. I should have never yelled at you. I should have never hurt you," he says and looks away. I saw in his eyes pain; regret. I reach for his hand, and hold it tight.

"I know you didn't mean to," I say, hoping my words will make it all better. "I'm sorry for not telling you who I was, right when I realized who you were. I was just…scared."

"Scared because you thought I hated you," he says, thinking back on the night we fought. "I should have told you, back then. I should have said something to you. But I was afraid, that you'd get hurt because of me. I couldn't let him hurt you."

"I know. Thank you, for everything you've ever done for me," I say, looking into his eyes.

He smiles a little, and says, "I would do anything for you, Tris." Then he laughs a little. "What should I call you, Tris or Bea?"

I laugh too, and then say, "Tris works. I feel like I'm ten again when you call me Bea. And I definitely don't want to feel like I'm ten when I kiss you," I blurt out, and he laughs some more.

We end up talking and laughing for a little while, both apologizing like fifteen times to each other in the process. I tell him how I still played Dauntless even after he left, and he tells me how much he missed our times sneaking out. Then he tells me about his father, and everything that he used to do to him. I instantly hate the man.

We talk for a little while longer, and then realize the time. The Welcoming banquet starts soon.

"I never asked you, how did your fear landscape go?" Tobias asks, as we get up from the bed and start towards the door.

I think for a moment, and then say, "Well, it sucked. But how about I tell you about it later, okay?"

He smile and nods, and then says, "I have some things I want to tell you too, but I'll wait until later." Right before we walk out the door, I turn to him and plant my lips on his. I love the feeling of his lips on mine.

I feel his smile on my lips, and I smile too. We pull apart, and he places a kiss on my forehead, and says, "I'll see you soon," because we agreed to go to the banquet separately. I give him one last kiss, and then walk out the door.

I'm glad we were able to get through that obstacle. I now know Tobias doesn't hate me; never did as we were kids either. And he knows who I am, and the feelings he had for me as Tris seem to still be there.

The only thing I have left to tell him is about my fear simulation. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell him I'm afraid of intimacy with him. Talk about awkward.

I wonder what things he still has to tell me. I still don't know much of what happened during the six years we didn't talk. Maybe it has something to do with that.

I make my way to the banquet, and I sit anxiously next to Christina and Will. This is it. Today I might finally become truly Dauntless.

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**Hope you liked it! Please review! More reviews = More chapters!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Tris' POV**

The Welcoming banquet started off with a feast, and lots and lots of Dauntless cake. Mmm, Dauntless cake.

I keep glancing over at Tobias, trying not to get caught. I wish I could be next to him right now. I'm sitting next to Christina and Will, their hands together, and Uriah and Lynn come and sit next to us. Since both the transfers and Dauntless-born initiates worked together in the last couple stages, we've been able to get to know them a little better.

"Hey guys," Uriah says.

We all say hello, and start talking about our fear landscapes.

"How many fears did you have, Lynn?" Christina asks.

"I think it was ten. It was hard to keep count, though," Lynn replies.

"I had eleven," Christina says, "and Will had thirteen."

"Fourteen for me," Uriah says, then turns to me. "How about you, Tris?"

"Uh, I think six or seven?" my answer comes out more like a question. I don't want to think about intimacy as one of my fears.

We all continue chatting, until Eric draws our attention.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the ending of another initiation!" He yells, and the room erupts in cheers.

"Congratulations to all the initiates who have made it this far. Your bravery and strength has been shown, and it is now time to show the final rankings," he explains.

I expect to see a list of names appear somewhere, but they never bring one out. Instead, Eric, along with a few other Dauntless leaders, start walking around the room with what looks like needles in their hands, like the simulation serum needles.

Eric walks over to our table, and is behind Christina and me, so we turn around on our chairs to face him.

"The person who ranked first; Tris!" he yells, and everyone cheers.

I got ranked first? I am now Dauntless! I am ecstatic!

With a huge smile on my face, Christina gives me a tight hug and then I stand up.

"Congratulations, Tris," he says over the roar of the crowd, without any emotion. He never did like me. I try not to look over to Tobias; I wish I could see the smile I know is on his face too.

He then lifts up a needle, and then says, "We are injecting each Dauntless member with a tracking serum, just as a precaution," and then sticks the needle in my arm.

As strange as that sounds to me, I don't say anything and just sit down. Why do they need to track us?

The next person Eric and the Dauntless leaders walk up to is Uriah. He smiles, gets congratulated, and injected just like me, then takes his seat. This pattern continues for Lynn next, then Marlene, then Will and Christina, then last are a few Dauntless born initiates.

The Dauntless leaders walk over to Molly, and tell her that she did not rank high enough, and is therefore factionless; so she walks out of the compound. They also do the same to Drew. Good riddance.

"Congratulations, new Dauntless members! Now everyone enjoy the party!" Eric shouts, earning another roar of the crowd.

All of us sitting at our table is congratulating each other, giving each other hugs.

"Congrats, Christina," I say, giving her a hug.

She smiles, and says, "Thanks! You too! I'm so excited!" She's always a ball of energy. We pull away from the hug, and she gets a smirk while looking over my shoulder. I was just about to ask what the smirk is for when I feel a pair of hands on my waist. I instantly know who it is, from the spark I feel. I smile, and turn around to face him.

"Congratulations there, Ms. Tris," he says, with a devilish handsome smile.

"Why thank you, kind sir," I say, throwing him a wink and earning a laugh. We are completely oblivious to the world around us; nothing matters but him and me here right now.

I still can't believe it. Initiation is over, I'm a Dauntless, and I am here standing in Tobias' arms. We can finally be together, now that he's not my teacher anymore.

I stare into his eyes, as he stares back into mine. Then, he leans forward and presses his lips to mine, and I ignore the few gasps around us. I weave my hands around to the back of his neck, pressing him closer; loving the feeling of his lips on mine.

All too soon we pull away, and I resist the urge to do it again. A huge smile is on my face. I couldn't be happier right now.

Tobias smiles back at me, then looks over my shoulder and laughs.

"Their faces are pretty funny," he says, making me turn around to see the shocked and awed faces of my friends. I laugh too.

Christina is the first to regain her composure, and shouts, "TRIS! When were you going to tell me about…..this?!" gesturing to the two of us. I feel a little bad about not telling her; she is the best friend I have here, other than Tobias of course, but I just couldn't.

"Well," I start. "Right now, actually. I had planned to tell you right now."

She jokingly glares at me, telling me she's not actually mad, and says, "Well, then I'm so happy for you!" and runs up and pulls me into another hug. It must be a hug kind of day.

I pull Tobias over to the table, and sitting down with him next to me.

"So how long have you two been dating?" Will asks.

"Well, we kind of haven't?" I say, looking over to Tobias with a confused look on my face. "We couldn't really date out in public, because we didn't want people getting the wrong idea of us. And so…I don't really know…what we…" I stumble, not really knowing what to say here.

Luckily, Tobias saves me by interrupting. "Actually Tris," he starts, and grabs my hand. "I've been meaning to ask you something." He has a huge smile on his face. "Would you like to officially be my girlfriend?" Did I see a hint of nervousness in his eyes? Am I making the unshakeable Four nervous?

An even bigger smile comes on my face, and I say, "Of course."

Tobias squeezes my hand, leans over and places a kiss on my cheek, making me blush a little. I'm not used to showing affection in front of people.

Suddenly, Zeke, Shauna, and Lauren pop up next to our table. The knowing smile on Lauren's face doesn't go unnoticed by me, when she sees our hands together.

"Hey congrats, newbies!" Zeke shouts, and pulls his little brother Uriah into a head lock. We all laugh as the three of them sit down next to us.

"Yeah, too bad initiation isn't over for you yet," Shauna says, and I feel Tobias tense up a little.

Lauren pats Tobias on the back, and says, "You still have to go through our little initiation."

"So come on!" Zeke shouts, rising from his seat. I look over at Tobias, giving him a questioning look, both asking why he tensed up and what we're going to do.

"You better come too, Four," Lauren says, getting up from her seat also. "Who would've thought that Four would become whipped?" she says laughing, and now running from Tobias who's trying to smack her. I laugh, and we all follow them out of the compound.

Tobias and I walk hand in hand through the halls, and we fall a little behind the group to talk.

"So, where are we going?" I ask, and before he can say anything Shauna shouts, "You can't tell her anything, Four!" I guess they can still hear us.

Tobias just laughs, looks over at me and says, "I unfortunately can't tell you."

"Okay next question," I start, and I slow my pace just a little more, so the group won't hear me this time. "Why did you tense up earlier when they came over and mention this initiation? Is it really that bad?"

He lets go of my hand, and instead puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. I put mine around his lower back.

"Well…let's just say that what we're going to be doing has a few of my fears," he says, looking ahead and not at me.

"Okay, and since you can't tell me what the fear is," I say, and he nods, "Then how many fears do you have?" I never really thought to ask him about his fears.

He smiles a little, and leans over to kiss my temple. I love these little kisses he keeps giving me!

"Take a guess," he says.

I think for a moment. "Didn't Lauren say the average amount of fears is like ten to fifteen?" I ask.

"Yep, and that means you're special, miss seven fears over here," he jokes.

"How did you…" I start, because I was pretty sure I hadn't told him about my fears yet. He just gestures ahead of us, and points to Lauren. Ah, so she told him.

"Okay, since you've always been better than me at everything, I'd say you have…" not six, not five, four…wait. Four. Four is a low enough number to earn someone a nickname. "Four fears. Hence the nickname Four." I feel like smacking myself on the forehead.

"You've always been the smart one," he says, and we near the exit.

The rest of the group waits for us, and we all walk together to the train tracks. It's pretty dark out, so Zeke, Lauren, and Shauna all take out flashlights, and hands the rest of us one too.

"Okay, so stage one is to get on the train with us, and get off with us. Any questions?" Zeke asks, and we all just stare at him. Shauna smacks him in the arm, and we hear the train near.

Tobias takes my hand and pulls me close again.

"Get a room!" Lauren jokes, and Tobias glares at her. He wraps his arms around me, and kisses me again; short and sweet.

We all start running next to the tracks, and one by one we hop on the train.

We all jump when Zeke jumps off the train.

"Yey! You all passed stage one!" Zeke jokes again. We walk to an abandoned building and each get into the elevator.

I grab Tobias' hand again once we're in there, just because I can now and I love it. His hand is a little tighter on mine though. I look over to his face, and although it is as perfect as always, I can tell in his eyes he's a little afraid. Is he afraid of elevators?

He notices me looking at him, half smiles and mouths 'small spaces'. Ah, claustrophobia. He doesn't like tiny spaces, and it doesn't help that there's nine people packed in here.

I rub circles on his hand with my thumb, like he did to me before, and he seems to calm down a little. We just keep going higher and higher though, until we reach the top floor. We exit the elevator, and I notice Shauna go pick up a ladder. She places it against the wall, climbs up it, and opens what seems to be a hatch on the ceiling. The night sky shines through it.

"Okay, next stage, get on the roof," Zeke says, climbing the ladder. We all just roll our eyes and follow suit.

Once we're all up there, I look out onto the city. The view is amazing. I walk over to the edge, to see how high we are up, and I notice Tobias doesn't follow me. He's actually frozen right by where we came up.

I walk over to him. "Hey, are you okay?" I ask, holding both his hands.

His eyes look pained; scared. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"Yeah, I will be. I'm just not a fan of heights," he admits. Is he facing his fears just to be with me right now?

Just as I was about to ask him, Lynn calls us over to where they are. We walk hand in hand over to them, and I see what we're up here to do.

Zip lining.

I try to find the end of the line, but it seems like it goes on forever.

"So this initiation is mostly just for you three," Lauren says, pointing at Christina, Will, and I. "Pretty much everyone who is Dauntless-born has gone zip lining, so we had to get you up here."

The first strapped up and to go down the line is Zeke, of course. Then Shauna goes, followed by Uriah and then Lynn. Lauren stays up here to help us get in the harnesses. Next to go is Will, and he gives Christina a little kiss before heading down. The Christina goes, and I can tell by her scream down she loves it and is also terrified by the ride.

"You're up, Four," Lauren says, tossing him a harness. He puts it on, and I can tell he's trying to remain calm. I want to tell him he doesn't have to do this, but I know he'll say he does.

He turns to me before getting hooked on. "If I die," he starts, earning a laugh from Lauren.

"You're not going to die," she tells him.

He just glares at her again, and then says to me, "If I die, I want you to know…" but I interrupt him.

"Hey, don't talk like that. You'll be fine," I say, trying to calm his nerves. I mean, I'm a little scared, but it also looks pretty sweet.

"Okay fine," he says, rolling his eyes at me and then leans over and gives me a kiss.

"I'll see you at the bottom," he says, right before he pushes off, and I see him soar away.

"I told you he liked you," Lauren says to me, helping put the harness on. "It's nice finally seeing him happy."

I smile at her, and say, "Yeah, I haven't seen that in a while."

She gives me a confused look, and I realize what I just said. "Did you two know each other before you came here?" she asks.

I hesitate, while she continues hooking me up to the line. "Uh, maybe you should ask him that," I say, hoping she'll forget all about it.

She just looks at me, and then nods. "Okay, ready to jump?"

I take a deep breath, nod, and take a leap of faith.

* * *

**Thanks everyone for reading! I'll post more chapters soon; it's getting harder with my busy schedule. But since I have such great fans then I shall give the people what they want! Please review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Tobias' POV**

I hate heights. No really, I absolutely hate them. They're stupid; why do they have to exist?

I guess it was my choice to go up there, to go zip lining. But I just want to be near Tris. Now that we can finally be together, and now that she's my girlfriend; yes, the lovely Tris is _my_ girlfriend, I don't want to let her go.

But when she came down the zip line, the look on her face made everything I just did worth it. She had a vibrant look on her; her face just lit up with excitement. I don't remember the last time I saw her this carefree, not a worry in the world. She looked amazing.

I almost don't want to ruin the moment. Right now we trickle behind the group, walking back to the train tracks. There's so much I learned in the last few days that I haven't had time to tell her. I didn't want to tell her before her fear landscape, because she was going to need all her energy for that. But I did tell her I had some things to tell her, and I need her to know them.

She must have noticed the change in my mood, because she asks, "Hey, are you okay?" while holding my hand.

I sigh, not wanting to worry her with all the things I have to tell her.

"I have quite a lot to tell you. I'm going to tell the other's we'll walk back, is that okay?" I say, looking her in those beautiful eyes.

She nods, and I quickly run ahead to tell the other's we'll walk back, and then I rush back to her. I give her a kiss on her cheek, just because I couldn't resist anymore.

She smiles, and I take her hand again.

"So I was doing a little research," I start, and she listens to my every word. "I was up in the computer room, researching the tracking serum they just started putting into every Dauntless member. They started a few weeks ago. It just seemed odd to me that they needed to track us, so I started thinking there might be another reason for them."

"Yea, I thought that was weird too," she says.

"Well, when I was up there, I found file from Jeanine Matthews. She's the leader of Erudite. The file was to Eric, and it was saying things like controlling people and war. I'm not sure, but I believe the 'tracking serum' is actually a controlling serum, that whoever is wanting to start a war is going to control all of us Dauntless as their minions. I know, it sounds farfetched, but that's what I got out of the file. I didn't know who I should tell; you're the only person I trust." I couldn't tell anyone else, they could be a part of it. But I know Tris, and I love her.

She stays quiet, processing everything I said. I'm worried about the next thing I have to tell her.

"There's more," I say, making her look over at me.

"What do you mean there's more? More than mind control and war? What's next, flying unicorns?" I laugh a little, because she's kind of a little freaked out. I pull her closer to me.

"When I was up there, I was sort of caught," I start, and her eyes get wide.

"What do you mean you were sort of caught? Are you okay, did they hurt you?" she asks frantically.

"Shh, I'm fine. I don't really remember what happened; it's all a little blurry. I remember someone coming in, and then a few people came in behind them. I don't remember who it was who caught me snooping, or what really happened after that. I just remember walking out of the room, unharmed. But I did notice something. Right by the spot they injected all of us with the 'tracking serum', there's another tiny whole on my arm, kind of like they injected me with something else too. I don't have any idea what it is. It probably was just the thing that made me forget the entire conversation, but I don't know why they didn't make it stronger so I would have forgotten everything I read." None of it makes sense to me. I'm hoping that by telling Tris all of this she'll be able to help me figure it all out.

She's quiet, putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. Then she speaks up, saying, "Why would anyone want to start a war?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out tonight. I'm going back up to the computer room tonight when we get back to try and find more information," I say. "Tris, I feel like something bad is about to happen. When we get back, would you mind going to my room until I get there? I can't risk you getting hurt, and I'll hurry back to you," I say, hoping she'll listen to me.

She smiles a little, and says, "Of course I will," then gives me a kiss on my lips. Man I love that feeling.

Right at the end of our conversation, we make it back to the compound. I pull her into a tight hug, trying to make the bad feeling I have go away. Trying to tell her how much I love her. But I can't say it, not yet. I don't want her to remember the first time I tell her I love her to be right after I told her this much bad news. But when I get back to the room, after finding more information, I'll tell her. That's my incentive to hurry back to her.

"Please be careful, Tobias," she says, looking a little scared. I place my hand on her face, she leans into it, and then I kiss her with everything I have. All the love I have is poured out into this kiss, and she kisses me back with as much fervor. Everything in my mind fades, leaving all but Tris and me, together. Our lips move as one, as our bodies pull together, needing more of each other.

Reluctantly, I slowly pull back. I lay my forehead on hers, eyes closed and listening to our staggered breaths.

"Hey," I start. "This isn't a goodbye. This is an 'I'll see you soon'. Real soon."

She nods, and places a kiss on my cheek. I pull her close one more time, and then we go our separate ways; her to my room and me to the computer room.

I walk quickly there, hoping not to run into anyone. It's pretty late, almost midnight, so not a lot of people should be awake right now. I make it there in no time, and I find the place empty. Perfect.

I get on the computer, locating the file I read before. They had it under tight security, but I've gotten pretty good with computers over the last few years, so I easily found my way around it.

After re-reading the file, and a few other tiny files, they directed me to the thing I was hoping to find. A game plan.

Everything was in this game plan; game plan is what they called the file. It told how the Erudite are planning to use the Dauntless as their personal weapons, using the mind control serum. So I was right. It never says why though; why they want to start a war. It says a little about how the government is too corrupt, needing to be destroyed and rewritten. It says the Erudite are the smartest, therefore should be the ones in charge of government.

I click on a few more files, and I find that they are going to use the Dauntless to kill the Abnegation; all of them. It says they are going to kill them to put fear into the minds of the other factions. Then they will use that fear to run the government, to run everyone.

I try to think, to wrap my brain around all this. It never says when this will happen though. And there's no one who I can tell. The file was sent to Eric, so for all I know all the Dauntless leaders could be a part of it.

This is too much. I have to get out of here before someone finds me in here.

Just as I'm about to rise out of my seat and rush back into Tris's arms, everything goes black.

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**Dun dun dun! Please review, I'll hopefully have more to post soon! Hope you love it!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Tris' POV**

I can't stop thinking about what Tobias said to me earlier. About the possibility of a war coming soon.

I sit on Tobias's bed, waiting for him to get here. I instinctively pick up _our_ knife lying next to the bed, and just play with it; imagining the simpler times when we used to sneak out. Back then we were only afraid of getting caught; now we're afraid a war is coming.

I don't know how long I've been waiting in his room; I never checked what time I got here. But as I look at the clock now, it's a minute to midnight.

I can't help but feel like something bad is coming. Tobias said the same thing earlier, and the feeling is getting stronger now.

I watch as the clock moves to midnight, and I half expect something to happen, like midnight was the trigger. But of course nothing happens, and I go back to daydreaming about a young Tobias and I throwing knives at cardboard.

A few minutes go by, and I start to hear a faint, constant thudding. Thud, thud, thud. It gets a little louder, and then more louder, until I can tell it's the sound of marching. The thuds are so perfectly matched up.

I put the knife in my pocket, for once not placing it back on the nightstand, and carefully walk towards the door. I open it a crack, just enough for me to see out of, and I see rows of Dauntless members marching towards the exit. I look at their faces, and I can tell they're not really there. Mind control.

The war is starting.

I close the door, trying to think of a way I can stop this.

Wait a second, why am I not brainlessly marching? I look down at my arm where they injected me with the serum, and I wonder if I'm defective. No, not defective. I have a strange feeling it starts with a D. Dumb? No, I'm not dumb. Different? No, another D word. Wait. Divergent.

I'm Divergent.

Divergence must be the key to not being a zombie right now. Well technically not a zombie.

Okay, think Tris. What should you do to fix this? Who would know how to fix this? And where the heck is Tobias in a time like this?!

Tobias. He's not here yet. What if he's not Divergent? He could be out there, marching along to someone else's tune, ready to be used as a weapon. I need to find him. And the last place he was in was the computer room. I decide to check there first.

I open the door, fully this time, and I decide blending in with the 'zombies' is the best way to go. I start marching, trying to display no emotion on my face, and trying to keep up with their rapid pace.

I've never actually been to the computer room, but Tobias explained to me the whereabouts it was before we parted earlier today. It's hard to imagine everything that's happened today; fear landscapes, becoming Tobias's girlfriend, zip lining, finding out about a war, and now trying to blend in with said war. Talk about exhausting.

I see the hallway up ahead, that supposedly leads to the computer room. I glance out of the corner of my eye, trying to see if anyone will notice my absence. For the second time today, I take a leap of faith, turn down the hall, and start running. As fast as my feet will go, I run to where I hope Tobias is.

And I ran right past the door. I quickly turn around, and find that it's locked.

No door can keep me away from my man, well if he's in there.

So I face the door, and with all my strength I propel my foot at the door, and it doesn't open. I try again, still it's unshakeable. So then I use all my weight by throwing my shoulder into the door, and after a few more tries, it finally opens.

I know its Tobias even from the back of his head. He's sitting at the main computer. But something seems wrong. He didn't turn to look at the door when I broke it open. And he seems too…rigid. I mean, Tobias doesn't usually slouch or anything, but it looks as if he's…

One of the mindless zombies that I watched outside his room. No!

I take a step forward, hoping he'll turn around and I'll see Tobias's eyes, the ones I love so much. I take a few more steps, when he turns around.

And his eyes are black.

No. Tobias can't be gone. He can't leave me alone here. He can't be one of those zombies. He can't!

"Tobias," I say, trying to get him to see me. He rises from the chair, and we are now probably five feet away from each other.

"Tobias," I say again, softer this time, hoping he'll hear my voice and recognize who I am.

I move my foot forward, taking another step towards him, when he raises his hand towards me.

The hand that holds the gun. Where the hell did he get the gun?

"Tobias, please. It's me, it's Tris," I start, hoping he'll put the gun down. I instinctively take a step back, not wanting to be closer to the gun. But this is Tobias, _my_ Tobias. He would never hurt me.

But this isn't my Tobias. Those eyes tell me he's not there. I have to get out of here. As much as I don't want to leave Tobias, I have to get away from him, for my safety and for me to be able to find a way to stop this war.

I take another step back, towards the door, when _he_ speaks. "Don't move," Tobias's voice, but definitely not Tobias. The way he said that was cold, detached.

I freeze, not knowing how I'm going to get out. I can't fight Tobias. I can't hurt him.

"Tobias, listen to me. It's me, Bea. I'm not going to hurt you. Please, come back to me," I say, and he doesn't move.

I'm going to have to fight him to survive. He's not going to back down until I'm dead.

I take a deep breath, praying that this doesn't end badly for the both of us, and then I make my move.

I dive, knowing the first thing he'll do is pull the trigger. He does, barely missing me, and I'm on the floor right next to him, so I sweep my foot behind his, hearing the thud of him falling and seeing the gun go flying to the other side of the room. That went better than I expected.

It doesn't take him long to regain himself, lunging towards me with those black eyes. Those eyes telling me that I'm not fighting Tobias, but that I'm fighting just a weapon, bent on killing me.

I try to dodge his lunge at me, and he catches my arm, throwing me back at him. He throws a punch, right at my face, but my arm blocks it. As tempted as I am to punch him, I just can't. It's still Tobias's face I'd be hitting.

While we are practically wresting on the floor for the upper hand, the knife in my pocket falls out, catching Tobias's black eye. I use that distraction and jump on him, trying to keep his hands from hitting me; trying to pin him down. But he just keeps fighting, and eventually throws me off of him a few feet away.

Just as I am about to lunge back at him, I look up and see the knife in his hand.

"Tobias, please! Listen to me!" I beg, hoping this will all just be over. Sweat beats down my face. Exhaustion is slowly creeping in. But I can't just give up. This is still my Tobias. I have to fight _for_ him, even if that means _fighting _him.

He makes the first move, lunging at me, knife first. I dodge, barely in time, but receiving a cut on the side of my cheek. He tries again, and this time I'm able to grab his arm, and using the skills I've learned I wedge his arm back, making the knife fall from his hand. I quickly kick it away, but while I was busy making sure the knife was no longer a problem, I didn't see his arm swing up, his fist connecting with my face. I stumble back, trying to regain my composure.

He stands up, and slowly stalks toward me. I push myself backwards, trying to keep away from him. He keeps moving towards me, and I feel the wall against my back, meaning I can't back away anymore.

But right next to me is the gun. I quickly pick it up and stand, him only a foot away from my extended arm holding the gun. I'd never imagine in a million years I'd be holding a gun right at Tobias.

"Please. Please Tobias. It's Bea," I say, as my eyes start to water, from the tears I know will be spilling out soon.

But I can't do it. I'll never be able to shoot him. Just like in my fear landscape, where I couldn't shoot my family, and the one where I kept seeing Tobias dead, all because of me. I can't do it. I won't.

He stays frozen, my shaking hand still holding the gun right at him. There's no fear in those eyes. There's nothing in them. No recognition of who I am. He doesn't see me. He doesn't see how hard this is for me. He doesn't see how much I love him.

I lower my arm, and drop the gun, it landing right in between us. The tears that were threatening to fall start pouring down my cheeks.

And then he bends over, picks the gun up, and aims it at me, straight at my heart.

My heart races. I'm going to die. He only sees me as the enemy, and there's no way I can change that. It's over.

"Tobias. I love you," I say, knowing these words will be my last. And then he shoots, and everything goes black.

* * *

**NOOOOO! Tobias can't kill Tris! Is anyone else freaking out as much as I am? Please review, then hopefully I'll be able to post the next chapter, and it will be about unicorns and butterflies and everything else that's happy! Ha, hope you liked it! More to come soon, as long as you review!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Tobias' POV**

I sit, watching the computers, seeing the army of Dauntless march towards the Dauntless exits.

I hear the door open behind me, and I turn, seeing Eric walk towards me.

"Four, my main man. How's it going?" he asks. I instantly calm, Eric's my friend. I know I don't have to attack him to protect the computers. My mission is to keep everything running smoothly.

"I'm good, Eric. What's up, buddy?" I ask pleasantly. It's always nice to see such a good friend like Eric.

"Just came here to check on you, that's all," he says with a wide smile. Kind of like he knows something I don't. I brush the thought out of my mind, because I know he wouldn't keep anything from me; we're the best of buds. "Here's a gun, just for safety."

"Thanks, man," I say, really meaning it. He's such a great guy.

"Okay, I'm going to be going now. Remember, you got to protect these computers. One wrong button hit on them could shut down this whole mission. You don't want that to happen, right?" he asks, heading towards the door.

"Of course not. I got it covered," I say, as he leaves and locks the door behind him.

I turn back to the screen, watching the army again. I must protect the computers with my life; no enemy will get near them.

I suddenly hear a banging on the door, as if someone is trying to kick it down. I ignore it, knowing whoever it is won't be able to get in.

I hear the door burst open, but I stay focused on the computers. Must make sure everything runs smoothly. I see the army making their way to the trains; the war should start within the next half hour.

I hear the person behind me move forward, and I turn to look at them. It's her! My worst enemy!

"Tobias," she says, looking at me. How dare she say my name? She's the worst kind of evil!

I rise from the chair, and we are now about five feet away from each other. I want to just slice her throat!

"Tobias," she says again, this time softer, as if trying to trick me. Not going to happen. She moves her foot forward, taking another step towards me. I raise my hand, which is tightly wrapped around the gun Eric gave me.

There's two urges inside of me, fighting for the other to shut up. One is saying pull the trigger, kill this evil girl. While the other is saying stop, don't do this. I don't know which to listen to.

"Tobias, please. It's me, it's Tris," she says as she takes a step back. I don't listen, trying to focus on the thoughts in my head, both telling me what to do. My head is screaming at me to shoot, while something else is telling me not to.

She takes another step back, and I see she's heading towards the door. I can't let her escape, she's seen too much.

"Don't move," I say, which freezes her in her tracks.

"Tobias, listen to me. It's me, Bea. I'm not going to hurt you. Please, come back to me," she says, while I just stand still, still debating on whether or not I should be shooting her already. What is holding me back?

She takes a deep breath, probably knowing her final moments are coming soon. I resist the urge to smile, knowing I'm going to be the one to kill my major enemy.

Suddenly, she dives towards me, and instinctively I pull the trigger, barely missing her. She lands on the floor next to me, and swoops her foot behind me, making me fall to the ground with the gun flying to the other side of the room. I knew I should have shot her earlier!

I quickly lunge at her, hoping my hands will find their way to her throat to strangle her. She tries to dodge, but I grab her arm, throwing her back towards me. My hand pushes forward to her face, but she blocks my punch.

We wrestle on the floor, each trying to gain the upper hand, when suddenly I see a knife fall out of her pocket. She catches me off guard, jumping on me and tries to pin me down. Silly girl, you're too weak to do that.

I throw her off of me, and quickly pick up the knife. She freezes the second she sees it in my hand.

"Tobias, please! Listen to me!" she begs, like a little girl. I won't let you fool me again. This enemy is just trying to play with me.

I lunge at her, knife first, but she dodges it barely in time. I did however cut the side of her cheek. I try again to stab her, but she grabs my arm, and wedges my arm back, making my hand release the knife.

She kicks the knife away, and while she was distracted I lay a punch to her face. She stumbles backwards, and I stalk towards her. She keeps backing up as I stalk towards her, until she's right up against the wall.

But the gun was right next to her, so she picks it up and stands, her arm raised with the gun only a foot away from me.

"Please. Please Tobias. It's Bea," she says again, tears forming in her eyes. What kind of trick is that? Enemies don't cry.

I freeze, instinctively from the gun and because inside of me a battle is raging. Kill her. Don't kill her. She's nothing. She's everything.

I don't know what to believe!

Suddenly, she lowers her arm and drops the gun.

I bend over and grab the gun, raising it and pointing it straight at her heart. I barely see the tears running down her face through my hatred.

I have to kill her! She's going to destroy everything we've worked to build.

Why is this so hard for me? She's the worst kind of enemy. I hate her with everything I have.

But then she speaks. "Tobias. I love you." Lies!

The gun is still pointed directly at her heart. One move from me, and she's dead. The threat will be eliminated. But why does it seem so…wrong?

I don't care, I have my orders. I pull my finger back, and the gun shoots, right where I was aiming.

But not at her heart. There was a tiny voice inside of me telling me not to kill her, so I shot her on the opposite side of her chest; my training knows it's a non-fatal shot.

I watch as her eyes, those beautiful eyes, roll back and her body goes limp. She collapses, her head hitting the solid ground too hard.

I stand there. I feel something, in my heart, almost as if I shot myself. Why am I feeling this? I did what I was supposed to, I eliminated the enemy. Well for the most part.

I stare at her lifeless body, trying to think. Trying to will the pain inside of me to vanish. It's getting harder to breathe.

"Tobias, it's Bea," I hear a voice say inside my head. Why does that name sound familiar? I used to know a Bea. She was my friend. Or was she my enemy?

I fall to my knees, a foot away from the girl. I watch as blood starts to pool from where I shot her. I feel the urge to help her.

"Tobias, I got hurt. Will you help me?" the little voice in my head says, and I picture who's talking. It's Bea, when she was ten. She scraped her hand, and was bleeding. I watch in my mind as I wrap her hand, making sure she's okay. There's no way such a sweet little girl could be my enemy.

"Tobias, it's Bea," I hear again, but this time the voice in my head sounds like the girl I just shot. Wait, the same Bea I helped all those years ago?

I look at the girl in front of me, staring at her face. She looks so peaceful.

Suddenly, I get a flashback. I see this girl in a closet, with a guy on top of her. I save her, and then it flashes to my room, where I'm holding her. More flashbacks come, of us holding hands, talking, laughing, kissing.

"Tobias, I love you," her voice in my head says. That's impossible though. Love doesn't exist. But just saying that word makes my heart flutter. Love. I love someone. I love someone so much it hurts. What's her name though?

"Tobias, it's me, it's Tris," I hear the voice again.

Tris. That's who I love. I've been wanting to tell her I love her.

"Tobias, I love you," I hear again, and suddenly everything comes rushing back to me. She's not my enemy, she's the girl I love.

TRIS! I rush to her side, tears forming in my eyes. I can't believe I shot the girl I love!

I need to get her help! I rip of my shirt, holding it tightly against the hole I created with my bullet.

"I'm so sorry, Tris," I say, wishing she could hear me. Tears fall from my eyes, and I place a kiss on her forehead. Her breathing is even, but she's losing too much blood. I have to rush her to the infirmary soon!

But wait. The army. The war. I have to stop it! As much as I don't want to, I leave Tris's side and rush to the computer. I type in the information to abort the mission; the mission I helped keep alive. I watch the screen, and see the Dauntless army walking into the Abnegation area, and just as I see their arms raise to start shooting, I hit the abort key.

I watch carefully, hoping it worked. I see the Dauntless start to disband from their even rows, and their faces look confused and horrified, telling me it worked. And not a single shot was fired.

I quickly type more stuff into the computer, completely destroying all of the commands that can be used to control the Dauntless, and instead of saving the 'game plan' information to a disk, I just sent it off to all the other factions, minus Erudite of course, to show everyone what happened tonight. I also put a video clip with the file, showing them how they used the Dauntless as mindless weapons. Then, I delete almost everything on the computers, and rush back to Tris.

"Tris, stay with me. I'm going to get you help," I say, as I gently pick her up in my arms. I feel a pain in my stomach, remembering the last time I was carrying her lifeless body, but this time she's like this because of me. She's going to hate me forever now.

I rush her to the infirmary, but on my way I slow my pace, remembering something.

"Everyone was being controlled. There's probably nobody there," I say to myself, all the hope being drained from my body.

Still, I have to try. I pick up my pace again, rushing her to the infirmary.

I bolt inside, and see a few doctors, all shocked as I walk in.

"Please, help her!" I shout, as I set her down on a bed.

It takes them a second to get their heads back on, and then they start working on her. A nurse comes in, and pulls me out of the room.

"No, I can't leave her," I say, even though Tris probably wouldn't want me there if she was conscious.

"Sir, you have to let them do their job. Here, put this on," she says, handing me a shirt. Oh yea, I gave Tris my shirt earlier to try and stop the bleeding.

She leads me to the waiting room, and I sit down, trying to process everything that's happened.

"Why are you guys here?" I ask the nurse, hoping she'll know what I mean.

She looks around for a second, and then says, "Eric never injected us with the serum, just in case he or one of his buddy's got hurt somehow. He wanted us here to be able to fix them." That makes sense. Unlike everything else that's happened tonight.

She walks away, leaving me on my own. Tears start to pour down my cheeks. I can't believe I shot the love of my life. I can't believe I almost killed her, if she makes it.

I sit in the waiting room for what seems like hours, not hearing any news about Tris. The Dauntless should be getting back soon. I can't think about anything other than Tris though. I can't breathe without her.

The exhaustion from everything that happened today starts to flood my body, and soon I unwillingly fall asleep in the chair.

Right before I drift off, I hear her voice again. "Tobias, I love you."

* * *

**Tris has to make it! And who else feels bad for Tobias? Please review! I'll post more soon!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Tobias' POV**

"Four. Four! What the hell man, wake up!" a girl's voice shouts at me, making my eyes open.

It takes me a minute to remember where I am. I'm in the waiting room. My eyes adjust, and I see Lauren in the seat next to mine.

"What?" I ask grumpily. I have every right to be a grump. I shot my girlfriend, and I hate myself for it.

"Dude, I've been looking everywhere for you. Are you okay?" she asks, seeing the shirt I have on is not my own.

I sigh, look away from her, and say, "No. I'm not okay." Because I'm not. I would give anything to be where Tris is, and her where I am. I quickly get up, and rush to the nurse, leaving Lauren in her seat. She knew exactly what I was going to ask, and says, "She's stable, but we don't know when she's going to be awake because of the amount of blood loss." I thank her and return back to Lauren, feeling a little better now that I know Tris is going to be okay.

Lauren must have heard the nurse talking, because she quietly asks, "It's Tris, isn't it?"

I try hard to keep the tears from forming. To Lauren I'm Four, and Four doesn't cry. Four rarely shows emotion. But how is it possible to not show emotion when everything inside of me is bursting to get out? The hate I have for myself; the love I have for Tris. Everything in me right now doesn't care for the Four façade. I just want to be Tobias right now, and I just want Tris to be in my arms.

Lauren's quiet for a moment, taking my silence as a yes to her question, and then asks, "What happened? I tried looking for you after we were able to control our own bodies again, but I couldn't find you anywhere. Where were you?"

I realize she was one of the many being controlled. I also realize I have no idea what time it is, and how long I was asleep. What have I missed?

"What was it like? Being controlled? And what happened afterwards?" I ask, completely forgetting her questions.

She gets a grim look on her face, and then says, "It was terrible. Your body just moved, no matter what you did to try and stop it. I could still see everything, and once we got to Abnegation…I didn't think there was any hope. We were going to kill everyone, that was our orders. You could feel your body raise the gun, at innocent people, and you couldn't do anything to not pull the trigger. It was horrifying. But then, right when our fingers tightened on the trigger, it all stopped. Our bodies became our own again, and we knew it was over."

She pauses for a moment, and then continues. "We didn't have anyone to lead us, because Eric and the rest of the Dauntless leaders where not there. We all knew they had to have been a part of it then. So Tori, Harrison, Zeke, Shauna, and I all stepped up and led everyone back to the Dauntless compound. We told everyone to stay in their rooms until we can figure out what has happened."

I nod, and wait for her to continue.

"So we five went up to the computer room to gather information, and there was lots of blood on the floor," she says, and I picture Tris's lifeless body on the floor again, and it almost breaks me.

"We went on the computer and found the 'game plan' file, which is," she starts, but I interrupt her by telling her I know the file. Then she continues, saying, "Well since the file was sent to all the other factions, except Erudite, the factions have been collaborating and have all come together to invade the Erudite and take Jeanine Matthews out of power. We know Eric and the other's fled to Erudite when they saw the army stop, so we have to get them too. Each faction is sending representatives to meet up and form a plan. A few extra Dauntless were allowed to go help infiltrate Erudite headquarters, with weapons of course."

"So why aren't you there?" I ask, knowing she would love to be a part of that.

"Four, you've been MIA since this all started. And, not to mention I was voted to stay behind to help anyone here. Tori, Harrison, and Shauna all went; Zeke and I stayed back. So, since I've caught you up on everything that's happened in my world, you better start talking as to why we are sitting in the infirmary waiting room," she says, shoving me a little.

As much as I don't want to replay everything that's happened, I start telling her. I start with me going to the computer room, because of the hunch I had. Then I told her how I was injected with a different kind of serum that apparently made my enemies into friends, and my friends into enemies. Then I told her how I attacked Tris, and how I shot her.

She should have shot me. When I was replaying what happened to Lauren, I remembered how Tris had the gun pointed at me, tears falling from her eyes. She should have shot me, and then we would be in opposite positions right now. But she didn't. She had dropped the gun, only for me to pick it up and shoot her.

"She told me she loved me," I say, as a tear falls down my cheek. I haven't said those words, haven't thought those words, because thinking them would break me. But I just can't do it anymore. "She told me she loved me, right before I pulled the trigger," I say, more tears rolling down my face. "I could have killed her. And I never had the chance to tell her I love her."

Lauren wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a warm, friendly embrace. But only Tris can help me now. Only she can save me from myself.

"You know, I told you not so long ago to not worry so much, because everything will work itself out" Lauren says. "Looking back now, I realize how crappy that advice was. But I see now there is no good advice I can give you that will make you feel better," she jokes a little, earning a small smile from me.

She gets serious again, and says, "She's going to be okay."

"I know. I'm just worried if _we'll_ ever be okay again. I can't expect her to still love me after I…" almost killed her. I can't say it again.

"Hey, you just reminded me about something. Did you two know each other before here in Dauntless?" she asks, and the closest thing I have to a smile right now forms on my face.

I imagine little Bea, throwing knives back in Abnegation. "We both came from Abnegation," I start. "Let's just say we were best friends for a little while."

She nods, not needing the full story to understand. We're both silent for a few minutes.

"Hey, you don't have to stay here with me. Aren't you supposed to be helping people around the compound?" I ask.

She smiles, and says, "What do you think I'm doing? I'm helping someone," she says, and shoves me again. "Everyone's supposed to be stuck in their rooms until later anyway. Lunch was sent to each room, so nobody is going to starve under my watch." It's lunch time already? I must have slept for a while.

We're quiet again, and then I say, "Thanks, Lauren. For everything," and I mean it. She helped me to not just wallow while I sat waiting.

She smiles and nods, and we go back to our comfortable silence.

A few minutes go by, and then the nurse walks up to me.

"She's waking up. Would you like to go see her?" she asks. I tell her yes, and I turn to Lauren.

"I'm going to go run around, make sure everything's still in order. I'll come back and check on you two later, okay?" Lauren says, and I thank her again and she leaves as I walk towards Tris's room.

My breath catches the moment I walk in there. Even hooked up to machines she still looks beautiful. I walk up to her, and grab her hand. I sit in the chair next to her bed, and watch.

Her eyes flutter a little under her eye lids. Her brows start to furrow, and slowly, her eyes open.

She looks around, confused, and then her eyes land on mine. Tears instantly fall from my eyes. She's alive. She's going to be okay.

"Tris," I start, but my voice catches. "I'm so sorry."

She just stares at me for a few moments, and then her eyes widen.

**Tris's POV**

Ow. Why does everything hurt? Where am I?

The back of my head is pounding, and there is a sharp pain on the right side of my chest, towards my shoulder. I try to remember everything that happened, but it all is kind of a blur.

I open my eyes, and look around. I seem to be in the infirmary. Then my eyes then land on an angel. I stare at him, and I see tears fall down his face. Why is an angel crying?

"Tris," the angel says. "I'm so sorry." What does he have to be sorry for?

Suddenly, everything comes back to me. The computer room, the war, those black eyes, the shot. Tobias shot me. But how am I alive? He was aiming at my heart.

"Tobias," I say, but it comes out as a whisper, because I'm so weak. He smiles a little through his tears that doesn't reach his eyes, and it breaks my heart to see him cry. "Don't cry," I manage to get out.

"Tris, I'm so sorry, for everything," he starts, tears still falling down his face. "I can't believe I shot you. I'll never forgive myself."

"Tris, I love you," he says, looking straight into my eyes. He loves me.

I smile, and tears start to fall from my eyes. He mistakes my happy tears as bad ones, because he becomes frantic and says, "Tris what's wrong? What hurts?" and I laugh a little, but that hurts so I won't be doing that again.

"I love you," I say with a big smile on my face. I don't care about anything right now. Tobias loves me.

He smiles, a real genuine smile. Then he leans forward, and places a kiss on my lips.

He pulls away, and I say, "Don't hate yourself. You weren't you," because he can't hate something that I love so much.

He sits down again, his hand never leaving mine. He then tells me about everything I missed, and everything Lauren told him.

I start getting tired, and after yawning, Tobias says, "You should get some rest."

My eyes close, but I don't want him to leave. "Stay," I say, squeezing his hand.

"I'll never leave you," he says, and I smile at his words.

"I love you," I say again, because I love saying it to him.

He stands up and places a kiss on my forehead, still never letting go of my hand.

"I love you too," he says, as I drift off to sleep.

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**Please review! I love reading everyone's comments. I don't know how many more chapters this story will have, so you better post them quick! Thanks again to everyone who's read, you all are wonderful!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Tobias' POV**

Tris quickly falls asleep, and like I promised I plan to be here when she wakes up. The doctor eventually comes in, checking in on her.

"When will she be able to leave?" I ask, hoping to just swoop her out of here soon.

"All her vitals are looking good. We'll see how she is when she wakes up, and if all goes well she could be able to leave by tonight," he says, and then leaves. I find the clock in the room, and see it's around one o'clock in the afternoon. Just a little over twelve hours ago was when I shot Tris.

Time seems to just drift by, leaving me with nothing but my own thoughts. The only thing that keeps me from not wallowing in my own misery is the fact that Tris loves me. I know, I sound like a sap, but it's true.

I must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing I knew I was waking up to the smell of something delicious. I see Lauren in the doorway, holding a tray packed full of food.

"I figured you two might be hungry," she says, and I realize she's talking to Tris too, who is now awake next to me.

"Thank you, Lauren," Tris says, and she sounds much better than before. I realize my hand is still wrapped in hers, just where I left it.

Lauren walks over, and sets the tray on Tris's lap. The tray is almost overflowing with food.

"Okay, this looks like enough for me, where's his plate?" Tris asks, earning a laugh from Lauren and I. Even after everything that's happened to her, she can still crack a joke. Well she might actually be starving, but I don't really know.

Lauren ends up staying with us, after Tris insisted, and the three of us just end up talking.

"You know, I don't usually ask you many personal questions, Four, but I haven't stopped wondering since I talked to you earlier. You said you two were best friends in your old faction?" Lauren asks, and I smile a little. I look over at Tris and see a smile on her face too, telling me it's alright to tell Lauren our story.

"Yea, we were. When I was twelve, which would make Tris ten, we started sneaking out late at night to…practice being Dauntless," I say, with Tris laughing a little beside me.

"Can you believe he taught a ten year old how to throw a knife?" Tris says, and I smile at her.

"I always wanted to become Dauntless, so I decided I could practice a little before the choosing ceremony. I kind of roped Tris into it too, just because I thought it would be more fun with a friend," I say, and this time it's Lauren laughing.

"You corrupted a little Abnegation girl?" Lauren jokes, and Tris throws a piece of bread at her, making all three of us laugh.

"Hey, he didn't…" Tris starts, but then says, "Well maybe he did corrupt me, but turns out he just made me into who I am," she says with a big smile on her face, and giving my hand a squeeze. Then she turns to look at me, and says, "You made me into who I am. All those years ago, I was always so unsure of myself. But then you came along, and taught me how to be _me_."

I never thought of it like that. I always thought I just tricked her into playing Dauntless with me. I never knew I was helping her find out who she was.

Just as I was about to say something, Lauren says, "Okay, if you two are going to be all lovey-dovey, I'm going to get out of here."

I grab a piece of bread and chuck it at her, just for fun. Then I remember something, before she gets out of her seat.

"Hey, have you heard anything about what's going on?" I ask, knowing she knows I'm talking about the almost war.

"Yeah, actually. They didn't give us too many details, but they said they infiltrated Jeanine's office. There was something along the lines of booby-traps and simulations, but apparently Tori was able to get through it all. But once the others were able to get in there, Jeanine was dead. No one knows why, but Tori killed her. Something about avenging her brother," Lauren says.

She continues, "They were able to find Eric and the other Dauntless traitors; they're being brought back here so we can decide what to do with them. And with the help of a few trustworthy Erudite, we are able to find anyone who was working alongside Jeanine."

Tris speaks up before I have the chance to ask, her words speaking my exact thoughts. "How do you know you can trust anyone in Erudite?"

Lauren smiles a little at Tris, and then says, "Well, let's just say we have a former Dauntless-born who transferred to Abnegation, and then had a kid who transferred to Erudite. This mother had her suspicions when it came to Jeanine, so she had her son gather information about her, and report back, secretly of course. The son had caught wind of the war, and passed it along to his mother just before us Dauntless got off the train near Abnegation. She was then able to get a few important people to safety, but luckily that wasn't needed because you two saved the day," she says, still weirdly smiling at Tris.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?" Tris asks, a suspicious look on her face.

"Well Tris, you may know this woman as mother also," Lauren says, and I look over at Tris to see if she knew any of this.

Tris laughs, as if Lauren's joking. "You're kidding, right? My mother could not have done all that."

"You are your mother's daughter, Tris. Apparently it was in your blood to save the world," Lauren says, laughing a little. Who knew, Tris's mom used to be Dauntless.

Tris looks deep in thought, and then says, "Why didn't she ever tell me?"

"I don't know," Lauren says. "But you may be able to ask her soon. I heard there was talk of a gathering soon, for everyone, from every faction. Kind of like a "Hey, let's not try to kill each other but become friends" kind of party."

I know Tris and a lot of other people would love that, but me not so much. Everyone I want to see is here in Dauntless. I especially don't want to see a certain someone.

We're all quiet for a little bit, each thinking about what was said. Lauren eventually gets up, saying "Back to work," and we thank her for the food and her time. Before she leaves the room she tells Tris to get better soon.

"When can I leave?" Tris asks once we're alone.

"Well I asked the doctor earlier, and if everything was going okay, you could leave tonight," I say, and she smiles.

"You should come kiss me," she says with an even bigger smile. I laugh, get out of my seat, and place a kiss on her lips. She pouts a little when I pull away, only making me laugh again.

The doctor comes in the room, and checks over Tris again.

"As much as I love the décor of this room, will I be leaving anytime soon, Doc?" Tris asks.

"Well, everything is looking really good. I believe you can. I will give you some medication for you shoulder; it may bother you a little bit while it heals. So, if there aren't any questions from either of you, you are free to go."

I look at Tris, seeing if she has any questions, and she shakes her head no.

"I think we're good," I say, and we both thank him for everything he's done. He leaves the room, telling us we can pick up the medication in the lobby, and we start getting ready to leave.

"Where am I supposed to go? I don't have a room assigned yet," Tris says, looking a little confused.

"Well actually, after the war Lauren and Zeke were able to get all the new members into their rooms, and you have a room waiting for you. But actually…" I pause, not knowing how to say this. "Actually, I would really enjoy it if you maybe…spent the night at my place? I just want to make sure you're going to be alright, you know, after everything…" I blabber on, trying to get her to see that I want her there so I can make it up to her.

She smiles, probably at my nervousness. "Well, since I might have trouble getting my shirt off later," she says, I think her mouth speaking before her mind caught up to it. Her eyes widen, and I laugh. "I meant, with my shoulder, um hurt and everything, I just, uh…" she trails on, and I laugh harder.

"I know what you meant, Tris," I say, and she blushes. I'm not saying that I don't want to take her shirt off; I mean I am still a teenage boy, but I respect her way to much.

We walk out of the room, hand in hand, and get her medication on the way out. The halls are empty, because the compound is still technically on lockdown. We make it up to my room, and I open the door for her.

"As always, make yourself at home," I say, as she plops down on the bed. She looks over at my nightstand, and a sad look comes on her face.

"I lost your knife," she says.

I sit next to her and take her hand. "No, you lost our knife," I joke, earning a little smile back. "That knife was just as much yours at it was mine."

She looks at me, with a big smile, and says, "I love you, Tobias."

I repeat the words back to her, wishing I could say those words with every breath I take, and then I kiss her.

She kisses me back with so much fervor. Without interrupting the kiss, she slowly leans back, lying on the bed and pulling me on top of her. Cautious of her shoulder, I lean towards the opposite side, still never breaking the kiss.

Our kisses become more heated, more passionate. Our bodies yearn for more, to be closer, even though we're already pulling each other closer. Well minus her right arm and shoulder.

I've never felt anything like this before; so much love for her, and so much lust. My body is telling me to do things, things I've never thought about. My hips instinctively move towards her as we kiss, and suddenly I feel her freeze beneath me.

I quickly pull back, thinking I hurt her. I look into her eyes, and see fear.

Is she afraid of me?

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**Dun dun dun! I bet you can't guess what's coming next. That's right, there's a crow in Tobias's room, and Tris saw it and freaked out. Ha, just kidding. Thanks for reading, please review! More to come soon!**

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**Oh, and sorry for not posting new chapters recently. I haven't been able to write anything, because... (and I know none of you actually know me and probably won't care, but...)**

**I JUST GOT ENGAGED YESTERDAY! I am on top of the world right now! But unfortunately for all of you that means the last thing I want to do right now is sit on my computer for hours creating new chapters...so it might be a little while before the next chapter is up. I haven't even thought about where the next chapter is headed...lol. But thanks again to everyone who's reading! I love your reviews!**


	30. Chapter 30

**This chapter is long over due, so here is what you all have been waiting for!**

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**Tobias' POV**

(Previously)

I've never felt anything like this before; so much love for her, and so much lust. My body is telling me to do things, things I've never thought about. My hips instinctively move towards her as we kiss, and suddenly I feel her freeze beneath me.

I quickly pull back, thinking I hurt her. I look into her eyes, and see fear.

Is she afraid of me?

This is how she must have looked at me when we were in the computer room; she must have been terrified of me when I had a gun pointed at her. How can she love me after everything I've put her through? Maybe she just remembered that, that I was the bad guy to her once. More than once. I've hurt her so many times, who's to say I'm not going to do it again?

I sit up, refusing to look at her now. I don't want to see those fear-filled eyes again. I take a deep breath and place my hands on my face, not knowing what to say.

**Tris's POV**

I hate that I'm afraid of intimacy! I mean come on! I love Tobias, there shouldn't be anything to be afraid of.

He must have seen the fear in my eyes, because he quickly got off me, and is now sitting at the end of the bed. I need to say something, but I don't know what.

"Tobias," I start quietly. I don't know what he's thinking, but it can't be good. "Please look at me."

He turns towards me, and I see the hurt in his eyes. I hurt him.

"Tobias I'm sorry, I…..it's….." I stumble on what to say. I really wish he could just read my mind right now.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says, turning away from me again. He's sorry? For what?

I sit up, and do the first thing I think of. I punch him, right in the arm.

He looks at me, with shock and awe on his face, which only makes me laugh.

"You've said you're sorry enough, mister," I say, "And there's no reason for you to say it again. I'm the one that's sorry. I should have told you a while ago."

"You were in my fear landscape," I say, looking down at my hands. "Twice actually?" That for some reason came out more as a question. I'm a little nervous, okay?

I glance over at him, wondering what he might be thinking. He's looking at the ground, and I can't read his face. That can't be good.

"You're….afraid of me? You're so afraid of me I showed up in two different fears for you?" he asks, and his voice is masked with hurt.

"No!" I exclaim, and stand up. I kneel down in front of him, and make him look at me.

"I'm not afraid of you. The first fear was me being afraid of losing you," I say. His face softens a little at those words, and he waits for me to explain the second fear to him. Yea that's going to go well. Hey Tobias, I'm afraid of having sex with you. Nice try, Tris.

I sigh, and close my eyes, thinking of how I should put it. Tobias then places a tiny kiss on my forehead, making me smile.

"Ok, don't take this the wrong way, but…" I start, as always delaying the inevitable. I open my mouth to speak again when suddenly there's a knock on the door. Yes! There's always an interruption.

I try to hide my smile as I get up to answer the door. Tobias makes an "ugh" noise, because of the interruption and stands up.

I open the door to reveal Zeke as Tobias walks up behind me.

"Hey Zeke," I say. "What's up?"

Zeke smiles at me then turns to Tobias. "There is a Mr. Eaton here to see you, Four. He's one of the leaders from Abnegation; said it was important," Zeke says, and I feel Tobias stiffen behind me. "He probably just wants to thank you for saving everyone, but you have to meet him over in room 35, near the training rooms. Got it?" Zeke asks, and I realize Zeke has no idea he's Tobias's father.

Tobias doesn't say anything, so I say, "Yea, thanks Zeke," and practically shut the door on him. Woops.

I push Tobias towards the bed, and make him sit down. His hands are in fists, and I can see the hardness back on his face.

"You don't have to go, Tobias," I say, sitting next to him and grabbing his hand, rubbing circles on it to try and make him relax his grip.

He's quiet for a few minutes, and I can tell he's trying to calm down. I kind of wish we could go back to making out on the bed, so I would be the one having to face my fear, instead of him having to face his. Mine's definitely not as bad as his.

He suddenly stands up, and I follow suit. Then he turns around towards me and kisses me on my lips. "I'm going to go face him," he says as he pulls away, and goes to grab his jacket.

"Ok, let's go," I say, grabbing my jacket to cover up the bandages on my shoulder that you can somewhat see under my shirt.

Tobias just stands there, giving me _the_ look that says, you're staying here missy. Like hell if he thinks he's going see that bastard alone. I give him a look back.

"No. You're not coming with," he says blatantly.

"Yes. I am," I say back to him. But then I think of something, and say, "I'll meet you there, okay?" and I quickly place a kiss on his cheek and run out the door before he can stop me. I hear him yell my name, but for once I ignore him and jog to the training room, right next to the place where _he_ is. I'm not walking into that room without a weapon, just in case his father tries to hurt him.

I quickly run in, and grab a knife and a gun, sticking the knife in my sock and the gun on my back, then I walk out. Just after shutting the door behind me, I see Tobias slowly walking around the corner, that fierce hard look back on his face.

He sees me and seems to calm down a little, but his face stays the same. We walk to the door together, and before he opens it he says, "No matter what happens, Tris, I love you," looking me in the eyes.

"It's going to be okay. You know I love you no matter what," I say, and he turns the handle.

I didn't really know what this room was for. But now it looks like it's a meeting room, with a long table in the middle of it with chairs around it. I see _him_ instantly, standing on the opposite side of the room, arms folded in front of him, looking our way. The hate inside me instantly boils. This is the man that took Tobias away from me all those years ago. I imagine me throwing the knife at his head, but resist actually doing it.

"Ah, here's my boy," _he_ says, and starts to walk towards us. Tobias seems to be frozen, so I walk in front of him, as if to shield him from his father, and say, "What do you want, _Mr. Eaton_?" I spit his name out like its poison.

"Well who do we have here? Don't be rude, Tobias. Introduce us," he says, and his fake happiness tone is still there. This is all just a show, because he doesn't think I know anything.

I can still feel Tobias stiff behind me, but I know he has his Four face on, not giving his father the satisfaction of knowing how much _he_ still bothers him.

"I'm Tris," I say, not offering my hand to him. "Now like I said before, what do you want?" I can be a bitch when I want to.

"Feisty. Can't I just come and say hello to my son once in a while?" he says, and I can tell he's starting to lose his facade.

"No, you can't. Now we all know you came here for a specific reason, so spit it out already," I say, glaring at him.

He takes another step towards us, and says, "Fine. I'm in a little bit of a pickle. You see, some people in Abnegation seem to think I had some part in the war that almost started. They want me taken out of leadership. Now, I know my darling son here can testify for me and make this all go away, seeing as I heard he is the reason the war never happened," he says, taking another step towards us again, so he's only a few feet away.

I take a step towards him, making sure he's not going to take another set towards Tobias, and with my voice laced with hate, I say, "Like hell he's going to do that. Doesn't surprise us that you're being looked at as a traitor. You've been one for quite a while; now everyone else can see you for what you really are."

His eyes narrow instantly, and he says, "You little bitch," as his hand comes up and tightly grips my shoulder; my bad shoulder.

A screech escapes my lips as tears fill my eyes and my knees give out, pain shooting everywhere in my body. I fall to my knees as my vision blurs.

The second Marcus laid his hand on me, Tobias moved; his right hand quickly finding the gun on my back and his left pushing his father up against the wall.

I could barely see, trying to will the pain to stop, but I could make out Tobias pinning Marcus on the wall, with the barrel of the gun pressed to Marcus's head.

I try to calm my breathing, and I hear Tobias's menacing whisper. "I've been dreaming about killing you for years. All I have to do is pull this trigger, and you're gone. But unlike you, I'm not a monster. If you ever touch her again, it'll be the last thing you ever do."

Marcus just laughs. Then he says, "Oh she's your little girlfriend. How cute. But you could do so much better than _that_," and he laughs again. If I wasn't in so much pain still I would lunge this knife where the sun don't shine.

I look up at the two just in time to see Tobias's right hand swing around, the gun connecting with Marcus's face, knocking him out. Marcus falls limp to the ground, and Tobias rushes over to me.

"Are you okay?" he asks, and I smile up at him. The pain seems to lessen now that he's at my side. Tobias wraps his arm around my good side, and helps me up. He continues to keep his arm around me as we walk out the door, but head the opposite direction of his room.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"To find someone to take out the trash," he says, and I laugh a little, which surprisingly didn't hurt.

Tobias leads me to a room, and inside we find the new Dauntless leaders; Lauren, Zeke, Harrison, Tori, and Shauna. Lauren rushes over to me and says, "Tris, are you okay?" and I see the others have worried looks on their faces too. My face must be a little white or something.

"Yea, I'm fine," I say, and Lauren helps me to a chair.

"What happened," Zeke asks, confused.

Tobias looks at me, and I can't tell what he's thinking. Then he says, "Marcus Eaton laid a hand on Tris after admitting he was a traitor for the Erudite and was a part of planning this war. He is currently unconscious in room 35. I would suggest sending someone to go get him and transport him back to Abnegation, explaining to them what he has done and let them deal with him." He said that with so much ferocity that even I believed him. His father deserves so much more than to be thought of as just a traitor.

They all looked shocked, and I can tell they're all wondering why Marcus Eaton would come to Four and tell him this. I don't think there's any way they can all completely believe him unless Tobias tells them he's his father.

Tobias must have realized this too, because he then says, "He told me all that because he believed I would lie for him and get him out of all his mess."

"Why did he think you would do that for him?" Tori asks.

Tobias sighs, and says, "Because he is my father." The room becomes silent, but then Zeke stands up and says, "Well let's go get the bastard."

Harrison gets up to, and right as they both are about to leave the room, I quickly say, "Hey. Not a word to anyone," and I know everyone in the room knows what I mean. Nobody here in Dauntless has ever known anything about Four's past, other than he came from Abnegation, but we don't need it getting out that he's Marcus Eaton's son.

Everyone nods, and Tobias sends me a small smile, as the two boys leave to go get Marcus.

Tobias then walks up to me, says, "Let's go home," and helps me up. I smile at the thought of always being able to go home with Tobias. Where ever Tobias is, that is where my home is.

We say goodbyes to the three left in the room, and walk back to Tobias's room.

"Tris, I'm so…" he starts, but I stomp on his foot before he can say sorry. "Ok, ow!" he fakes, earning a little laugh from me.

"What have I told you about apologizing? You did nothing wrong," I say, looking up at him.

"I let him get his hand on you. I should have been paying more attention, but all I could see was him….him hurting me when we were in that room. Like I was a kid again. But when I heard you scream, I lost it. I was ready to kill him in that moment."

We arrive at his room, and we walk inside, throwing our jackets on the ground and walking towards the bed. Again, I become tired, because of this stupid hole in my shoulder.

"It's okay. You handled everything very well," I say, not knowing what to say to make him feel better, again, like usual. "Can we lie down? I'm feeling tired again."

He smiles and nods, laying down on the bed and opening his arms to me. I place a small kiss on his lips.

"I love you, Tris," he says, and I finally see a genuine smile again.

I smile too, and say, "I love you too, Tobias." I remember there's still a knife in my sock, so I slowly reach down and pull it out, setting it down on the night stand where the old one used to be.

"I'm glad you went into that prepared," Tobias laughs. I laugh a little too, and before long I drift off to sleep.

* * *

**I am soooooo sorry for such a long wait! I need to find a way to either end this or find a direction this story is going to go. I'm running low on ideas! Lol. And it doesn't help that school has started, so the little free time I had is now practically non-existent. But thank you all who have stuck with me! I love reading your reviews, keep them coming! **


	31. Chapter 31

**Tris's POV**

It's been a couple weeks since 'the incident', that's what everyone is calling the war that almost happened. Not a whole lot has changed, other than my shoulder is healing very well and I can almost use it fully without it hurting.

Marcus was put on trial in Abnegation after we sent him away, and I didn't hear much about what happened after that. But I bet when you have all the leaders of an entire faction testifying that you're a traitor, you're not going to make it out of that.

Tobias has been a lot happier. I've been working on making him put the past behind us, especially the part where he shot me, and he seems to be doing a lot better since then. I couldn't be happier with him.

The faction party that Lauren mentioned never happened; just the leaders got together which is kind of a bummer because I never got to talk to my mom. I guess it isn't such a surprise that my mom came from Dauntless; I never paid enough attention to my family when I was younger, because all my time was spent thinking about being 'Dauntless' with Tobias.

I still can't believe how far we've come. From little Abnegation kids throwing knives in secret to becoming some of the toughest Dauntless members there are. Not that I'm bragging or anything.

I ended up getting a job in the control room, even though I wanted one in the tattoo parlor, but since Tori ended up 'murdering' Jeanine, she has something called community service and isn't around a lot. The leaders of the factions came up with it, because they didn't feel she did something terribly bad but it still was something that needed punishment. I think I heard she just has to clean up garbage in the factionless for a while. So since I was injured I couldn't fully work; their rules, not mine, I had to just watch Four type stuff on the computer. For hours. I mostly just stared at his face or made funny faces at him to pass the time; he can be very focused some times and wouldn't even notice.

So pretty much everything has gone back to normal. Or well it was until very recently.

Everyone is acting very strange around me. I probably wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't being so observant, which I'm usually not, but something seems off with everyone.

Christina made me go on an "emergency shopping trip", her words, not mine, and it took hours! How can that girl do that? I practically crawled back to my room when it was done. Now normally, an endless shopping trip with Christina isn't odd, but it seemed like she was trying to get me into super fancy clothes, and she made sure I had matching underwear. Speaking of underwear, I still haven't told Tobias about my….one fear. I'll do that soon, don't worry. I think.

So another person who's been acting weird is Tobias. I'm starting to get suspicious, even though I don't want to be. I know he would never do anything to hurt me, well on purpose, so I'm not even thinking he's cheating on me. But then I have no idea why he would be acting so weird. I can't explain it, he just is! Ugh! And whenever I try to talk to Christina about it she either ignores me or says we have to go shopping, so I just drop it.

Well, back to reality. I can really daydream when I'm supposed to be working. It's finally time to leave, and I realize I hadn't paid attention to the last hour of work. Woops.

I head back to our room, I love calling it our room, and I expect to see Tobias there since he only had a half day. I have no idea why again; I never get half days.

I open the door and find an empty room. Where is he? I debate going out to look for him, but I don't need to be a paranoid girlfriend right now.

I change into something more comfortable, and decide to lay on the bed for a little bit, just to relax. Okay I've made up my mind. I'm going to tell Tobias my fear, tonight.

I jump a little when I hear the door open, not expecting Tobias to walk in for some reason.

"Oh, hey babe," he says, smiling when he sees me. I suppress the look of suspicion I want to put on my face, and smile back at him.

He walks over to the bed, and rolls on it next to me.

"How was your day?" I ask.

"Oh, ya know, the usual," he says, pulling me closer and places a kiss on my lips.

"What do you mean the usual? You only worked a half day, what did you do?" I ask, the suspicion in my voice noticeable.

"I just had a few things I had to take care of," he says, looking away from me. Weird, he never keeps anything from me.

Oh, that reminds me, I don't want to keep something from him anymore.

I sit up, and Tobias follows suit.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, worry starting to creep onto his face.

I stand up, and start to pace. I don't know why, I can tell Tobias everything, so why is this so hard?

"Um, you remember a while ago when I mentioned you were in my fear landscape?" I ask tentatively.

I keep pacing, and I seem to be looking everywhere but where he is.

"Yeah," he says, and waits for me to continue.

"Okay, well….don't laugh or anything…..but…." why isn't there an interruption again?

He gets up and puts his arms around me, stopping me from pacing.

"Tris, whatever it is it can't be that bad," he says, hoping to reassure me. Ha, good try buddy.

I sigh, and drop my head down so my face is in his chest.

"I'mafraidofhavingsex," I say, or well spit out super-fast that I doubt he understood it. I feel him shake a little, and while sort of laughing he says, "Uh, could you repeat that, a little slower?"

I sigh again, and say, "I'm afraid of intimacy," and I close my eyes tight, hoping this moment was over already.

Tobias walks me over to the bed, and sits us both down, and pulls me into his arms. Then he places his hand under my chin and pulls it up so I'm looking at him.

"Tris, there's nothing to be ashamed of. And after everything you've been through, I kind of expected it," he says gently, referring to what Peter did to me.

I look up to him, and kiss him. I told myself there was nothing to be afraid of; Tobias is the most understanding person I know! Jeesh!

"Thanks for being perfect," I say, smiling at him.

He just laughs, and starts tickling my sides. I scream and try to get away, but he rolls us over so he's on top and he keeps going. I can't breathe!

He then pulls his face down towards mine and passionately kisses me. I get lost in the kiss, wanting more of him. I pull him closer, and my hands instinctively tangle themselves in his hair.

After making out for a little bit; which I love doing, Tobias pulls away and looks over to the clock. We still have quite a bit of time until dinner, so I don't know why he is getting up. I resist the urge to whine and make him get back on top of me.

I just stare at him, and he starts to fidget a little. Weird again.

"Oh, um I forgot, Christina told me she needed you to help her with something in her room, like five minutes ago. I'm sorry," he says, his hand scratching the back of his neck, a nervous reflex.

I eye him suspiciously, and then think, eh whatever. I get up, and grab a jacket.

"Okay, should I just meet you back here when we're done?" I ask.

He smiles, and says, "Sure." He gives me one last kiss, and I leave without asking anything else. What is with him?

I quickly make my way to Christina's, since apparently I'm late, and knock on the door. I hear a Christina squeal, and the door bursts open, and she pulls me inside.

"Jeesh Christina, don't blow out my ear drums," I say.

"Oh my gosh Tris you need to try on this fabulous outfit I found, it is SOOOO YOU!" she practically screams. Seriously? She made me come over here to try on an outfit?

"Christina, are you serious?" I ask, hoping there is some other reason that just that.

"Yes I am, now PUT IT ON!" She says, and shoves me into the bathroom with a bag full of clothes. "Oh, and you better put everything on in that bag or I'm going to….be really mad at you!" she shouts through the door.

I roll my eyes and open the bag, to reveal a very expensive looking dress and matching underwear. Of course, it's always about the underwear with her. I figure I might as well put it all on. When I have everything on I look in the mirror, and the dress is practically perfect on me. It fits all my curves, well the ones that I don't really see, and I actually like how I look in it.

I step out of the bathroom, only to earn another squeal from Christina. Again, ow.

"OH MY GOSH TRIS YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY AMAZING IN THAT! I KNEW IT WOULD BUT STILL!" she really needs to tone it down a notch, or ten.

"Thanks, but why did you make me come all the way here just to try on a dress?" I ask, and she just has a huge smile still on her face.

"Oh because I can," she says, and sticks her tongue out at me. I can never win with her.

"Okay, well I'm going to change and head back to my room to see Four," I say as I head back to the bathroom, but not getting very far.

"NO! Go back there wearing this, that's an order missy!" she yells again. I'm going to be deaf soon.

I sigh, not wanting to fight with her, and so I decide to wear the dress back to the room. I thank her, and head back. Well at least Tobias will like it on me.

I get back to the room, and when I open the door Tobias isn't there. Where did he run off to again?

I see something on the bed, and walk over to it. There's a note.

_Tris,_

_On this very spot, we've laughed together, cried together, fought and joked together. I want you to know I love you very much and can't wait til the day when I can hold you in this very spot for the rest of our lives, calling you my wife. Now, I want you to go to the place where we shared our first kiss. Please hurry._

_Love, Tobias._

What the heck? A huge smile is plastered on my face. "Calling you my wife?" I say out loud, and I can't think straight.

I quickly rush out the door, heading to the training room. Man it seems so long ago when he first kissed me. I wanted to smack him, and he goes and kisses me. That was when he had to throw knives at me because of Eric, and I was pissed he cut my ear, and he calmed me down by kissing me.

With a smile still on my face, I make it to the training room in no time. When I walk inside, I see another note, this one pinned to the throwing knives target by none other than a knife. Clever.

_Bea,_

_In this room we trained; we were angry at each other and we loved each other. Since I couldn't send you to Abnegation on this little 'scavenger hunt', I figured this place would work. Ever since we were kids, we always dreamed about being here; learning to fight and be brave. You are the bravest person I know, and I only hope I can become as brave as you one day. Maybe with you by my side forever I can learn to become that. Next, head to the place where you first told me your name was Tris. As much as I love you as Bea, I love you more as Tris._

_Love, Four._

Awww! I can't contain my happiness anymore. I let out a squeal that Christina would be proud of. I can't believe it….this is so amazing!

Since I'm too excited to even think some more, I quickly head over to the net.

**Flashback**

"What's your name?" he asks. He looks so familiar.

"Tris," I say, now taking in my surroundings.

"Tris," a girl next to me repeats. I think she was the one who called me the stiff before. "Make the announcement, Four."

Four, the familiar guy, looks over his shoulder and shouts, "First jumper-Tris!"

I am ecstatic. The crowd around me erupts in cheers. I feel like I'm on top of the world right now. I can't wait to begin anew here; as Tris, the person who I've been waiting to become.

Four turns to me and says, "Welcome to Dauntless."

**End of Flashback**

I make it to the net in no time, and I see in the middle of it is another note. I quickly climb on and roll over to it, glad no one else is around because I'm wearing a dress.

_My love,_

_On this spot is where I first asked you out, on an 'outing'. I was a nervous wreck trying to do that. But it was the best thing I've ever done, because I knew I was falling for you. I was in such awe when you were the first jumper, and I couldn't have imagined how much I would come to love you then, but now I can't imagined you not at my side. Now, I want you to head out to the train tracks. I have a few people there ready to meet you, so please hurry. I don't think you want to miss the next train._

_Love, 4._

My face is starting to hurt from smiling so much. I quickly roll off the net, and race towards the tracks. When I get outside, the cold hits me, but I see a small group of people up ahead and keep going.

"EEEEK!" Christina squeals, again, when she sees me. She hands me a jacket, and says, "Aren't you so excited?"

I laugh, still not being able to not smile, and look around at the group. There's Christina, Uriah, Will, Zeke, Shauna, and Lauren all standing around. We hear the train approaching, and Zeke says, "Get ready, we're all hopping on."

We all start to run along the tracks, and it's really breezy with a dress on. Luckily I have spandex on underneath, Christina had put in the bag earlier. I'll have to remember to thank her.

We all make it on the train, and inside the car there are decorations.

"Surprise!" they all suddenly yell, and I must have a super confused look on my face, because Lauren comes over to me and says, "This is just our little surprise before the final surprise," and she gives me a welcoming hug. I hug her back, thinking of how great of a friend she is, and the others walk over, each one giving me a hug too.

Christina is the last to hug me, well it's more of a jumping around and hugging thing, but you get the point. I am unbelievably happy, I don't even care.

"So Tris, you know what the final surprise is?" Uriah asks, and I look around to all my friends smiling brightly at me.

"I think I might have an idea or two," I say, my cheeks really hurting from smiling so much.

"Good, because I didn't think you would wear such a nice outfit to paintball," he says, and the smile on my face falters.

"What?" I ask, suddenly very confused. Everyone bursts out laughing, and Uriah manages to say through his laughter, "Oh Tris, you…should have seen….your face!" Tears are rolling down his eyes, and I just walk over to him and punch him in the arm.

I end up laughing though too, because he really did get me. And nothing can dampen my mood tonight.

"Okay, you ready Tris?" Will asks, and he gestures to the door. "It's time."

I smile bigger, and thank them all for being here. Then, I jump, and when I land I realize where I am.

I don't know how I didn't see the ferris wheel on the train, but I guess I wasn't paying attention.

But the entire place looks gorgeous. There are lights all around, and a red carpet leading towards the ferris wheel. I'm pretty sure the smile is going to burst off my face soon.

I start walking on the carpet, and there are flower pedals on it and candles lit down the entire way. He did all this for me? I didn't think I was that special.

Then I see him, standing next to the ferris wheel, and I run to him. I run because I know he is all I'm ever going to want and need. No matter what happens, as long as he's there, I will be happy.

I run right into his arms, and he spins me around. I laugh, and he does too, but I can tell he's still a little nervous.

"Oh Tobias, this is so amazing!" I say, as he sets me back on the ground.

"Well you deserve nothing but the best," he says, smiling at me. Okay, I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry!

"Tris, we've been through so much, and I can't imagine my life without you. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such a loving, caring, tough, brave, and all around amazing girl. I love you so much, and I know that together we will be able to get through anything and everything, so that's why I want to ask you…" he grabs my hand, slowly going down on one knee and pulling something out of his pocket, "Bea, Tris, Beatrice. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Everything inside me is bursting with joy, and since my mouth seems to not want to work right now I nod, and he slides the most gorgeous ring on to my finger and pulls me into the biggest hug, spinning me around again. I am on top of the world right now! I am engaged to Tobias Eaton, the love of my life!

"I love you Tobias," I say, finally getting my mouth to work again. And just in time too, because he then kisses me with so much love. Nothing else in the world matters.

He pulls away, and with a smile matching mine on his face, he say, "You made me the happiest I've ever been. I love you Tris!" and he spins me around again. I laugh, just enjoying everything. The lights, the beauty, the love.

Suddenly, we hear someone yell, "Did she say yes?" and then a smack, and I see our friends coming towards us.

"You idiot, do you think they'd look so happy if she didn't say yes?" Lauren says to Uriah, smacking him again.

I laugh, as I get pulled into another round of hugs with everyone, and the guys smack Tobias on the back, congratulating us. I still can't believe how happy I am.

We start making our way to the tracks again, and we all laugh as Uriah and Zeke skip hand in hand on the red carpet. Tobias and I stagger back a little, holding hands.

"So…did you like everything?" he asks, and I can tell he was genuinely nervous I didn't like it.

I pull him close to me, and say, "I loved everything, but the ending was my favorite."

"That was mine too," he says, and he spins me around like we're dancing, and pulls me in for a kiss.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life you with, Tris soon-to-be-Eaton," he whispers to me.

I smile, hoping this happiness will never go away, and say, "I can't wait to call you my husband." Never thought I would be saying those words.

We make it on the train in no time, well in no time because Tobias and I are practically oblivious to everything right now but each other. We sit on one side of the train car, and watch our friends joke and laugh on the other side. Nothing could be more perfect. Nothing can ruin this moment.

All of a sudden, Christina runs over to us, and screams, "TRIS YOU HAVE TO LET ME PLAN YOUR WEDDING!"

I guess I spoke too soon.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

**I hope everyone loved it! I loved writing it, and enjoyed all of your wonderful reviews! Thanks everyone for waiting for the finale, it took hours to write but it was worth it! Definitely the longest chapter of the whole story! **

**The credit for the scavenger hunt goes to my wonderful fiancé, who sent me on a scavenger hunt to find him, where he then proposed to me. EEEK! Sorry, girly moment. But thanks again to everyone who's out there, I love you all! And GOODNIGHT! :)**

**~Kelsey**


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